Love, Health and Transportation: Douchebag Alert!

Douchebag Alert!

By amy - 02/04/2018 09:00 - United States

Today, my brother bragged about the number of break-up texts he sent this week while driving. I don't know what's worse, the fact that he was dating 3 girls, that he broke up with them over text, that he was texting and driving, or that he's proud of his actions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 693

You deserved it 300

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/11/2013 10:06 - United States - Rockford

Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me a text message saying "It's over!". I sent him maybe a thousand texts saying "Why?", "What do you mean?!" After an hour of crying and whatnot, I realized he had driver's education today and that he was saying the class was over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 980

You deserved it 49 022

By Anonymous - 02/06/2015 05:03

Today, I received a beautiful, heart-felt text from my boyfriend detailing all the ways he loved me. He probably should have emphasized just how big his heart is though because he sent the text to three other women too. Thank you, group messaging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 549

You deserved it 2 582

By Anonymouse - 02/07/2011 07:42 - United States

Today, while I thought my brother was playing with my new phone, he was actually texting a bunch of my friends that I have chlamydia. He deleted his texts so I wouldn't see them, and I spent a half-hour trying to figure out why I kept getting texts of shock and sympathy. We're both in our 20's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 610

You deserved it 4 793

Let down

By MoxyR12 - 24/06/2009 15:33 - United States

Today, I was texting this guy that I really liked. Things were going pretty well. I got a call from his number and excitedly answered it. It was his girlfriend asking if he was bothering me because he likes to text random people when he's drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 816

You deserved it 5 728

By SayItToMyFace - 11/11/2015 17:50 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend asked me to text him when I got home after driving 40 miles in bad weather from his house back to mine. When I did, he broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 030

You deserved it 1 538

By lohandork - 22/05/2016 17:33 - United Kingdom - Roehampton

Today, a motorist yelled at me for texting and driving. I was too ashamed to admit that I'd been admiring the bogey I'd just picked from my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 166

You deserved it 11 171

I'm an excellent driver

By Anonymous - 10/08/2023 20:00

Today, I got in the car with my brother, who drives all the time with his eyes glued to his phone. We stopped at a red light, it turned green. I noticed that he was still looking down and told him the car ahead was moving. I then got screamed at, saying how I'm always right, how my friends suck, and how he wished I was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 140

By Anonymous - 27/09/2009 12:17 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, by text, while we were in the same room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 172

You deserved it 4 262

By DeadBroke - 07/01/2010 05:01 - United States

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years because I was tired of his childishness and anger, so he decided to send me 540 random text messages of scrambled letters in order to mess up my phone as well, as make me pay 20 cents for each message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 552

You deserved it 5 736

By girlwithaprob - 13/11/2010 21:45 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me I was the only girl he'd ever text, call, or flirt with again. Later on he told two other girls exactly the same thing on Facebook, not realizing that everybody can read wall messages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 825

You deserved it 3 743

Norja 33

Monday 2 April 2018 15:44

He is the type of selfish womanising asshole that will get into an accident and walk away without a scratch and kill some innocent person. Hope karma gets him one day.

CrazyTrainWreck 19

Monday 2 April 2018 16:04

D. All of the above

Comments

waterfalleyes 8

Thursday 29 March 2018 17:01

wow looks like he achieved ultimate coolness

Sheepiebeepie 26

Tuesday 3 April 2018 3:26

No one does sarcasm anymore?

pjsr 32

Monday 2 April 2018 15:21

Definitely the texting and driving

John Nemeth 14

Monday 2 April 2018 15:23

Dam Alphas.

Norja 33

Monday 2 April 2018 15:44

He is the type of selfish womanising asshole that will get into an accident and walk away without a scratch and kill some innocent person. Hope karma gets him one day.

CrazyTrainWreck 19

Monday 2 April 2018 16:04

D. All of the above

sarkycow 25

Wednesday 4 April 2018 10:43

... wouldn't it be E. all of the above? If I've buggered my reply I'm blaming it on trying to think at 2am 😕🤓

CrazyTrainWreck 19

Wednesday 4 April 2018 20:34

E would be correct but I realized my mistake after I posted and couldn't change it.

Lobby_Bee 17

Monday 2 April 2018 17:56

Usually people that brag only do so to compensate for something else.

ARISKomuniszt 24

Monday 2 April 2018 20:05

charming man.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 2 April 2018 20:58

He’ll probably end up having sex with countless beautiful women. Bastards always win. Karma will fix their wagon in the next life, but who has time for that?