Dream baby dream

By Anonymous - 19/05/2020 23:00

Today, I woke up to my father sobbing his eyes out in the kitchen. Apparently, I screamed, "DON'T TELL THEM I'M PREGNANT!" in my sleep last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 611

You deserved it 331

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Same thing different taste

By wifeofafainter - 24/09/2015 06:31 - United States - Bronx

Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 420

You deserved it 3 070

By rowie1311 - 27/03/2011 18:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 583

You deserved it 31 058

By Anonymous - 28/10/2012 16:44 - United States

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 063

You deserved it 6 154

By lm - 20/05/2009 20:49 - Ireland

Today, my dad told me about how my mother had a bad dream last night and began to scream "Don't take me, take my children!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 691

You deserved it 3 991

No! Noooo!

By Anonymous - 18/12/2015 01:59 - United States - Pleasanton

Today, I told my parents I was pregnant. They yelled at me until I started crying. I'm 31, married, and I have a good paying job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 955

You deserved it 1 956

By Chris - 03/04/2011 17:41 - United States

Today, I was awoken by my dad yelling into my ear. In shock, I jumped up off the couch, and came smashing down into the coffee table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 653

You deserved it 4 131

By Anonymous - 08/08/2015 05:18 - Canada

Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 552

You deserved it 2 159

By mamagelmane - 08/08/2014 04:27 - France - Vervezelle

Today, my husband jolted in bed and while still half-asleep said, "I had a nightmare; I dreamt we had a kid." I'm 8 months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 907

You deserved it 4 079

By XxOx - 04/02/2010 01:18 - France

Today, my mom is going with me for a general check-up at the doctor's office. She just told me she had a nightmare last night that she went to the doctor with me, and he told her I'm pregnant. I am pregnant. I was about to tell her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 673

You deserved it 7 719

By ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 695

You deserved it 2 378

Wadlaen 23

Tuesday 19 May 2020 23:27

Well, are you..?

DanielleinDC 33

Wednesday 20 May 2020 3:40

You could always claim it was a nightmare.

Comments

Wadlaen 23

Tuesday 19 May 2020 23:27

Well, are you..?

DanielleinDC 33

Wednesday 20 May 2020 3:40

You could always claim it was a nightmare.

Mathalamus 24

Wednesday 20 May 2020 7:40

Why would your father be crying over that...?

Joshawott 21

Wednesday 20 May 2020 12:30

Oh no...

thomasthedankengine 11

Wednesday 20 May 2020 20:57

nice

Keywords

Miscellaneous Shopping Medication Health Anger issues Birds Animals Embarrassing Weddings Pranks YouTube TikTok Dogs Cute AITA Work Parents Sex Intimacy Awkward Frustration Mental health Annoying Relatable Technology Transportation Poopoo peepee Am I overreacting? Lonely Love

The Top

Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for ages. We were lying in his bed afterwards, and he mumbled the word "happy". I thought it was really sweet, until he repeated himself. "My girlfriend probably won't be too happy about this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 573

You deserved it 6 914

Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 295

You deserved it 2 147

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I started stroking the back of his neck with both of my hands. He told me, "Your hands are nice and smooth like my grandmother's." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 406

You deserved it 7 977

Today, I meant to send a nice picture of the flowers my boyfriend got me set up in a vase on my nightstand. Turns out I sent it to his mom. My vibrator was in the shot. I'm mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 916

Today, while vacationing with my boyfriend of 9 years, he started writing "Wi" in the sand. I instantly hoped he was going to propose by writing, "Will you marry me" on the beach. He spelled out "wiener" instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 049

You deserved it 3 224

Today, I received a "Happy Birthday" text from my ex. I thought maybe she missed me, but when I replied with a polite, "Thank you," they responded with "Sorry, wrong person. However, fuck you." Ouch. Happy birthday to me, indeed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 178

Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 602

You deserved it 20 659

Today, and for the past year, my sisters have been guilt-tripping me for not giving their kids some cousins to hang out with. I hate kids and I don’t feel bad, but it’s starting to get annoying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 107

Dream baby dream

Same thing different taste

No! Noooo!

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