Love, Annoying, Argument and Cops: Dude, stop arguing!

Dude, stop arguing!

By Christ on a bike - 22/01/2023 00:00

Today, it was only after our third date, a random traffic stop by law enforcement, and a long, insane argument with the officers that I found out that the guy I've recently been getting to know is a Sovereign Citizen nutjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 165

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Same thing different taste

By ifaisal - 26/02/2010 03:05 - Qatar

Today, I was on a date with someone I've had a crush on for a long time. It was after midnight, we were chatting in the car and I was close to having my first kiss ever. That is, until a bunch of policemen popped up to arrest my date for being a suspected drug dealer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 384

You deserved it 3 595

By goodgrief - 05/03/2013 05:08 - United States - Rio Rancho

Today, I parked next to a police officer's car in a bad part of town. When I got out, I saw a bag of pot on the ground between the cop's car and mine. When I pointed it out to him, he insisted it was mine and interrogated me to the point of tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 527

You deserved it 4 945

Don't dick around with those guys

By Cuntface McGee - 21/02/2014 21:37 - Romania - Dej

Today, I was chilling out with my friend in a parking lot, when a police officer came up to the vehicle and suspiciously asked what we were up to. My friend sarcastically said, "Uh, doing drugs? Planning a drive-by? Haha!" We soon found ourselves in the back of a cop car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 911

You deserved it 18 623

By Sarah-D - 29/07/2016 05:31

Today, a policeman pulled me over and proceeded to flirt with me. After I had rejected him, he gave me a ticket for "not paying attention to the road". FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 272

You deserved it 2 264

By GDBeast - 09/01/2013 23:55 - United States

Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 465

You deserved it 6 317

By Anonymous - 19/05/2015 20:49 - Germany - Stuttgart

Today, after taking my crush to the train station late at night, I sat in a local park alone with my thoughts for a while. Two cops appeared out of nowhere and started searching me for drugs and weapons, asking me questions for a good 30 minutes. Not the kind of action I expected tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 307

You deserved it 2 599

By Anonymous - 03/11/2009 04:33 - Canada

Today, the police came to my door and told me about a woman who called the cops on me because she said that I had been following her in my car. We were on the highway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 120

You deserved it 2 024

By Jenna - 03/07/2012 23:20 - United Kingdom - Reading

Today, my dad was driving me home and was angrily explaining how my boyfriend was a bad influence and that he was hanging out with the wrong crowd. After finally convincing him to give him another chance, we stopped at a traffic light just in time to see my boyfriend being chased by police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 740

You deserved it 38 806

Born to run

By Ipickthegoodones - 26/06/2009 06:43 - United States

Today, I had three sheriffs come to my door, turns out my boyfriend of three years went on a robbing spree last week and brought the stolen merchandise back to my apartment. The best part: He used my car while committing the robberies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 223

You deserved it 6 636

What's going on?

By sexychica - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I pulled up next to my boyfriend at a stoplight. He was in the back of a police car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 908

You deserved it 6 440

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 22 January 2023 1:04

You could become the Queen of his country! Hang on to him, Your Highness.

Nazmazh 18

Sunday 22 January 2023 7:02

Better to find out after only three dates instead of like, 3 months of dating the guy.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 22 January 2023 1:04

You could become the Queen of his country! Hang on to him, Your Highness.

Nazmazh 18

Sunday 22 January 2023 7:02

Better to find out after only three dates instead of like, 3 months of dating the guy.

SirEnigM0nk 22

Sunday 22 January 2023 16:04

Or after getting engaged, married, kids, etc.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was in the "getting to know you" phase of dating a guy I recently met. We were talking about our families and I mentioned my dad died when I was young. He blurted out, “So, we get to have some of that kinky daddy issue sex then, huh?” I’m not sure if he was joking or not but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 112

Today, I tried to surprise my husband because our sex life is lacking. We have planned sex Tuesday night, every week, with the lights off. When he came home for lunch, I was naked and waiting for him. He took one look and said, "I forgot you looked like that. Meh, I'm going back to work." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 133

You deserved it 8 547

The Top

Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 836

You deserved it 3 581

Today, I got my two-year-old's Halloween costume in the mail. I tried it on him to make sure it fit. He loves it so much that he is now having a complete meltdown because he wants to go trick-or-treating. He doesn't understand we only go trick-or-treating on Halloween. 23 more days to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 724

You deserved it 6 244

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 574

You deserved it 9 002

Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 953

You deserved it 1 163

Today, I went for a walk. That's about as normal as any conversation starter gets, but it started with my boyfriend wanting me to go for walks to help lose weight. Apparently, the Universe thinks I need to lose weight too because I found this during my walk. Thanks, Universe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 495

You deserved it 565

Today, it’s extremely hot, so showering and deodorant does fuck all for my odor. I thought I could get away with having my arms pressed to my sides at all times, but instead, a boy I don’t even know physically lifted my arms above my head and loudly declared that I stank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 117