Intimacy: DUDE! WTF?

FML for mobile
Free

DUDE! WTF?

By imanidiot - 03/03/2009 06:29 - United States

Today, I'd been sat in traffic for about an hour. I've heard stories about people doing the dirty in their cars, and I never do anything risky so I thought, why not, I'll be here a while, no one can see me: I'll masturbate. Midway through, I heard a tap on my driver's window. It was a police officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 267

You deserved it 152 469

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

What he is thinking?

By fishyrael - 12/11/2019 01:00

Today, I was on a long road trip and I really had to pee. With no rest stop for miles and night having fallen, I decided to pull over on the side of the highway and pee in a fast food cup. A cop knocked on the window to see if everything was okay, while I was mid-squat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 852

You deserved it 304

By suzanneallen - 11/09/2009 04:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his car when things got hot and heavy and we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to put our clothes back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, and he had been there the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 132

You deserved it 40 984

By mentallyscarred - 31/01/2011 09:34 - United States

Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 167

You deserved it 4 713

By Anonymous - 20/08/2015 17:25 - United States - Houston

Today, I was driving home. I desperately needed the bathroom, so I was speeding a little bit. A cop pulled me over and gave me hell. He said he'd heard my story a hundred times and didn't believe me. I couldn't hold it and ended up marinating in my own piss while he ran my plates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 086

You deserved it 2 849

By someoneneedsassistance - 24/04/2015 15:07 - United States - Woodford

Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 352

You deserved it 4 030

By tvaladie - 17/04/2009 00:19 - United States

Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 152

You deserved it 350 419

Move!

By Anonymous - 10/11/2010 15:29 - United Kingdom

Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 603

You deserved it 54 281

Hello hello hello

By Bonnie and Clyde - 08/05/2015 02:18 - United States - Humble

Today, my boyfriend and I got busted by a cop for having sex in his car. When the cop sent us on our way, we went home and the garage was open, so we called the cops thinking someone was in the home. No one was in the house, and we got the same cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 145

You deserved it 9 379

Kinda sus

By kmf - 10/08/2009 19:06 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to get hot and heavy in my truck at our favorite park. We started going at it and we were both butt naked when I saw a car pull into the lot. Not only was it a cop car, but the first thing the cop asked my girlfriend was, "Are you being held against your will?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 160

You deserved it 14 393

By TheIrony - 19/07/2016 21:50 - United States

Today, while driving I saw a police car riding along next to me. Thinking about the news recently, I decided to give him a quick thumbs up and a smile to lighten up his day. He looks back, smiles, flips on his siren, and pulls me over for not paying attention to the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 195

You deserved it 3 552

imversatile 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 16:02

How in the world did you think nobody would see you?? Doesn't your car have windows like the rest of us?

Sora_fml 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 16:12

lmao, shoulda told him that it itched, you were just scratching. Or ask if he wanted to join in.

Comments

harry13th 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 23:09

hahahaha thats hilarious, what did the cop do? did he give u a ticket?

McLaughlane 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 23:20

sorry, but you totally deserved that one. lol.

dpressedninja 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 23:24

just... why?

courtneyissofuck 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 23:31

i do that ALLL the time!!

Cloudy_fml 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 23:37

#38, when did the OP say they went to jail?

mleeb 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 23:53

I mean, you TOTALLY deserved this, but I feel bad for you. NOT because you got caught, but because you weren't actually "doing the dirty." As everyone always says, your hand doesn't count, even if it does get you written up.

CherishFlowers 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 0:01

Ew, gross. If I was the cop I wouldn't want to go up and tap on someone's glass who was masturbating...

mcnordan 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 0:11

I don't get it. What did you do wrong? You were in the privacy of your car.

genius_man16 0

Monday 29 June 2009 15:50

that's what's baffling me. I mean it's not indecent exposure or anything. WTF?

taybear0 14

Sunday 4 January 2015 7:17

i think it would be considered dangerous to engage in sexual activity while operating a vehicle

shitfaece 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 0:29

#26: Post a scan of it on reddit or something!

aew002 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 0:30

It's not "privacy of your own car" when everyone can see you doing it! Have you ever been in a traffic jam? You have a clear line of sight into everyone's cars. Some people might have had kids with them in the car. Try explaining THAT one to your little Johnny who's only in first grade.