Intimacy: DUDE! WTF?

DUDE! WTF?

By imanidiot - 03/03/2009 06:29 - United States

Today, I'd been sat in traffic for about an hour. I've heard stories about people doing the dirty in their cars, and I never do anything risky so I thought, why not, I'll be here a while, no one can see me: I'll masturbate. Midway through, I heard a tap on my driver's window. It was a police officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 265

You deserved it 152 457

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What he is thinking?

By fishyrael - 12/11/2019 01:00

Today, I was on a long road trip and I really had to pee. With no rest stop for miles and night having fallen, I decided to pull over on the side of the highway and pee in a fast food cup. A cop knocked on the window to see if everything was okay, while I was mid-squat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 849

You deserved it 299

By suzanneallen - 11/09/2009 04:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his car when things got hot and heavy and we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to put our clothes back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, and he had been there the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 128

You deserved it 40 967

By mentallyscarred - 31/01/2011 09:34 - United States

Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 162

You deserved it 4 709

By Anonymous - 20/08/2015 17:25 - United States - Houston

Today, I was driving home. I desperately needed the bathroom, so I was speeding a little bit. A cop pulled me over and gave me hell. He said he'd heard my story a hundred times and didn't believe me. I couldn't hold it and ended up marinating in my own piss while he ran my plates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 082

You deserved it 2 846

By someoneneedsassistance - 24/04/2015 15:07 - United States - Woodford

Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 346

You deserved it 4 029

By tvaladie - 17/04/2009 00:19 - United States

Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 147

You deserved it 350 375

Move!

By Anonymous - 10/11/2010 15:29 - United Kingdom

Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 602

You deserved it 54 276

Hello hello hello

By Bonnie and Clyde - 08/05/2015 02:18 - United States - Humble

Today, my boyfriend and I got busted by a cop for having sex in his car. When the cop sent us on our way, we went home and the garage was open, so we called the cops thinking someone was in the home. No one was in the house, and we got the same cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 096

You deserved it 9 350

Kinda sus

By kmf - 10/08/2009 19:06 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to get hot and heavy in my truck at our favorite park. We started going at it and we were both butt naked when I saw a car pull into the lot. Not only was it a cop car, but the first thing the cop asked my girlfriend was, "Are you being held against your will?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 148

You deserved it 14 382

By TheIrony - 19/07/2016 21:50 - United States

Today, while driving I saw a police car riding along next to me. Thinking about the news recently, I decided to give him a quick thumbs up and a smile to lighten up his day. He looks back, smiles, flips on his siren, and pulls me over for not paying attention to the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 184

You deserved it 3 546

imversatile 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 16:02

How in the world did you think nobody would see you?? Doesn't your car have windows like the rest of us?

Sora_fml 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 16:12

lmao, shoulda told him that it itched, you were just scratching. Or ask if he wanted to join in.

Comments

Mish_fml 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 1:27

LOL Wow, that's pretty sad. You hear about people jumping off 70-floor rooftops, but we don't see you doing that, huh? Peer pressure. It sucks, doesn't it. >_>" + I seriously LOL'd at the "tips" on how to ********** in a car. Are you guys SERIOUS? teaching someone how to ********** in a vehicle? Geez, why not just do it at home if you're so into that type of stuff? I completely agree with #8. Hopefully this isn't Canadian or else I'm changing my citizenship

failjuice 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 2:24

Did he at least let you finish? Seems like someone could win a police brutality suit with a good enough lawyer. Set a precedent for the rest of us proud pervs!

walrys 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 6:18

You should have asked him to lend a hand.

dmoneycivicsi 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 16:43

dumbass

dabears554 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 1:26

When you say the cop saw you "midway through," it makes it sound like you finished afterward.

williamsrt3 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 15:00

Dude. that sucks. Be smarter!!! you can't do that in traffic! thats horrible. You should have done it not in traffic while driving on the highway at night like me!

pb_fml 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 3:25

Don't be a follower. And yeah people have sex in their cars, but not in traffic, dumbass.

dunno_me 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 9:54

Yeah, it was pretty dumb to do it without tinted windows, but whatever. What's done is done. I think it would be pretty interesting to see a guy masturbating right next to me in traffic. XD

takran 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 18:24

#100: I'm not sure "interesting" is the word I'd use. :P Stupid to try this in traffic. Only way no one would notice is if you had heavily tinted windows... Doing this while *driving*, as in the vehicle is moving, no matter where or what circumstances, is absolutely retarded. You deserve telephone pole justice.