Intimacy, Sex and Awkward: Dude, you're really bad at this

Dude, you're really bad at this

By Anonymous - 31/12/2022 05:00 - Kenya

Today, I was so horny, I decided to meet up secretly with a guy after having dinner with family. We went for a night drive and he parked somewhere to go down on me. The dude was sucking the life out of my clit, almost biting it off. Good thing my mum called and I had a reason to escape the ordeal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 318

You deserved it 844

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

The moment when…

By wastedlove - 23/06/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 108

You deserved it 74 047

By Anonymous - 30/05/2019 02:00

Today, I got lost in a car park, late at night, unable to find my car. I started panicking, so I called my dad. I sat down to catch my breath. After about 2 minutes, I heard a noise. I looked up to see a guy jerking off while watching me. He smiled, so I instinctively threw my backpack at his junk and he ran off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 414

You deserved it 279

So frustrating!

By Anonymous - 21/11/2013 20:37 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I tried to have a fun night out. I met a guy and we went back to "his" place, which turned out to actually be his mother's house. He introduced me to her. Two hours later, I knew his life story and had to do the walk of shame without ever getting anywhere near his bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 416

You deserved it 10 269

Knock next time please

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 21:32 - India

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 970

You deserved it 794

By saddened97 - 20/01/2011 09:39 - Australia

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me "I wish my sex life was as interesting as yours." She had walked in and we hadn't even noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 711

You deserved it 12 898

Keep your wits about you

By Rawr - 30/12/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I was really horny after some dirty texts from my boyfriend. Since everyone seemed to be sleeping, I closed my eyes and started to touch myself. I was really close to climaxing when I opened my eyes and made eye contact with my mother staring at me as I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 472

You deserved it 11 685

Why would you do that?

By Sam - 23/11/2009 01:35 - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We were starting to get intimate, and I thought it would be kinky to tie his hands to his bed so he'd be more turned on. Suddenly his mom called us for dinner, but I couldn't untie him fast enough. I had to sit there, embarrassed, while his mom undid the rope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 112

You deserved it 29 797

Bad mindset

By Anonymous - 10/12/2021 02:01 - United States

Today, I went to a strip club and got a dance from a 19-year-old who was clearly not into me. I left and got into my car, and parked on a busy street. For some reason, the desire to do something pathetic was coursing through my veins, and so… I jerked off right there in my car. I think I was trying to get caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 2 268

By username - 31/07/2011 22:19 - United States

Today, I was feeling a little naughty, so I put on a sexy outfit, laid down on the hood of my boyfriend's car, and waited for him to find me. When he came into the garage and saw me, he freaked out and bitched at me, because I "could have dented the chassis". FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 585

You deserved it 16 558

Sexy talk

By Anonymous - 16/01/2016 06:40 - United States - Denver

Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied, "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 010

You deserved it 4 819

Chazzster 28

Saturday 31 December 2022 3:29

Communication is required… I assume he was over stimulating your clit because he thought it would feel good. You should have told him to ease up…

anothergenericuncreativename 13

Saturday 31 December 2022 12:59

so how is he supposed to know he's not good if you don't tell him he's not good? open your damned mouth if you have complaints. you ARE a responsible adult after all, are you?

Comments

Chazzster 28

Saturday 31 December 2022 3:29

Communication is required… I assume he was over stimulating your clit because he thought it would feel good. You should have told him to ease up…

poopface82 19

Saturday 31 December 2022 5:04

Jeez, the dude found the ******** and you’re still not happy.

JackWood 20

Saturday 31 December 2022 9:10

Kinda selfish of you not to return the favor after the phone call.

anothergenericuncreativename 13

Saturday 31 December 2022 12:59

so how is he supposed to know he's not good if you don't tell him he's not good? open your damned mouth if you have complaints. you ARE a responsible adult after all, are you?