Sex and Intimacy: Effective - FML

Effective

By zstarr - 14/07/2012 11:15 - United States - Rome

Spicy

Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 622

You deserved it 32 433

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Same thing different taste

By Ananimus - 26/08/2015 12:31 - United States - Peekskill

Spicy

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 598

You deserved it 2 377

Bored

By Anonymous - 23/06/2022 18:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 247

You deserved it 387

Whatever works

By dumblonde78 - 17/07/2021 14:01

Spicy

Today, I noticed that to get my boyfriend to do what I want, I must bribe him with food instead of sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 948

You deserved it 296

Protip

By Anonymous - 13/04/2015 01:56 - United States

Spicy

Today, the only way I can get my boyfriend to do anything is by telling him it's a turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 981

You deserved it 4 442

Gift of the gab

By Nicole - 13/12/2014 15:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, I finally told my boyfriend that he's not very good at dirty talk. He does it every time we have sex and it always turns me off. He started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 347

You deserved it 7 289

By CALIdime_15 - 05/05/2012 05:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 361

You deserved it 4 920

Run for the hills

By SickofhisBs - 06/07/2022 12:00

Spicy

Today, and every time I don’t feel like having sex with my boyfriend, he audibly jerks off, and passively aggressively moans to try and guilt trip me into doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 283

You deserved it 646

By a.baybay - 07/01/2010 06:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, I noticed that my long distance boyfriend of almost four months only calls me to have phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 157

You deserved it 17 805

By hannieannie - 09/02/2016 21:51 - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 379

You deserved it 3 123

Hate sex

By xenutja - 29/01/2021 13:02 - United States - Amery

Spicy

Today, I found out why my boyfriend always has sex with me like he hates me. Turns out, he actually hates me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 085

You deserved it 170

Next

Top comments

ollie179 21

Saturday 14 July 2012 16:15

"And then Danielle actually had the cheek to call me a bitch in front of the whole salon whilst having my hair conditioned and..." That's nice, bend over baby.

bubba1177 1

Saturday 14 July 2012 16:12

Stop talking

Comments

Nemle22 4

Monday 23 July 2012 16:14

And now that you know...take the hint.

GryffinDarkBreed 3

Thursday 26 July 2012 0:08

How is this a bad thing? He gets you to shut up, and if you didn't enjoy it we wouldn't be here, so...

neoinlove 5

Friday 27 July 2012 6:33

so lots of f ORAL..

grigri75 35

Monday 30 July 2012 2:12

like a bau5.

hotmamma55 0

Friday 5 October 2012 7:38

maybe you talk a little too much, but honestly, sometimes someone shutting you up in the middle of your sentence is extremely hot. just go with it. if you continue not to like it. then, break up with him. simple

ManiPaul 6

Saturday 21 September 2013 20:41

Well stop talking. Damn

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The Top

Today, I invited my mom over for lunch so we could discuss how she broke my trust while she last babysat for me, and that as a result she won’t be babysitting for a little while. She then yelled at me and told me I was being disrespectful and dramatic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 114

Today, I was enjoying the benefits of marriage with my new husband. We were changing positions when my joints started crackling and popping like my mother's did when I was a kid. My husband stopped, concerned about my possible pain... I'm 20 years-old and pop like an arthritic 50 year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 612

You deserved it 3 895

The Top

Today, I tried to have a game night at my house. Suggesting a popular card game that everyone plays, snacks, and BYOB. No one showed or even said they weren't coming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 285

You deserved it 185

Today, I was scolded by my boss, all because I can finish most tasks in a quarter of the time it takes him, and he doesn't want to be shown up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 676

You deserved it 118

Today, at 7 a.m., I ended up outside in a nightdress, barefoot and in the rain. I've just found out that my two-year-old son now knows how to close the patio door, which of course, has no outside door handle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 758

You deserved it 3 936

Today, I started my new job at a security company. In the first 15 minutes there was a bomb threat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 014

You deserved it 3 030

Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend, when a guy pulled a knife and told us to hand over our money. My boyfriend blurted "I don't have shit, dude! She has tons of cash!" The moment the mugger turned to me, my boyfriend ran away at top speed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 070

You deserved it 3 216

Today, I started my job as an assistant to a beekeeper. I forgot to put gloves on, and got stung like crazy. My hands swelled up to the size of baseball gloves. Turns out, I'm allergic to bees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 688

You deserved it 37 790