Sex, Anxiety, Awkward and Intimacy: Effective

Effective

By Nublet - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 408

You deserved it 5 582

End-of-year festivities: New Year's Eve fun and frolics
End the year on a high note with anecdotes where every New Year's Eve firecracker is synonymous with laughter! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Braggadocious

By krissy8799 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blow job for the first time. He posted it on Facebook and can't understand why I'm angry with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 262

You deserved it 10 112

By Anonymous - 05/02/2016 09:55 - United Kingdom

Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 618

You deserved it 8 756

By Anonymous - 05/10/2010 00:47 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend road head. He closed his eyes when he came, and crashed into a pole. I have whiplash, and a very very angry father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 738

You deserved it 61 833

By notsexy - 28/07/2009 22:28 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 770

You deserved it 8 444

Doofus

By Coykoi - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 924

You deserved it 10 432

Scary!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 226

You deserved it 5 883

The cycle begins

By seriously? - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Pickerington

Today, I was trying to explain to my mom that I've been having panic attacks. I ended up having a panic attack from talking about having a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 134

You deserved it 5 000

By myusofwe - 06/02/2016 01:33 - Puerto Rico - Caguas

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with the guy I like. He couldn't get it up and awkwardly tried to stick his limp penis in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 946

You deserved it 3 028

Sketchy

By Wolf - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Trinidad and Tobago

Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 880

You deserved it 2 469

Killing the mood

By hotmess - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Katy

Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 653

You deserved it 8 778

ImmaB3AST 7

Wednesday 7 September 2011 12:03

what the hell are you? a vacuum cleaner?

chick011 0

Wednesday 7 September 2011 11:58

Must have been really good?

Comments

KZAZ 3

Sunday 6 November 2011 13:49

maybe it was cz u were good??

KRS_13 0

Tuesday 22 November 2011 17:54

Same thing happens with me and my boyfriend..everytime

CaineghisMord 2

Wednesday 30 November 2011 3:59

Your either really good or really bad.

Gigaboo 0

Tuesday 6 December 2011 5:29

that was his first

CradleLeena 0

Tuesday 13 December 2011 21:40

Sucked the breath out of him?

Hawkeye21 1

Wednesday 14 December 2011 10:01

Surprise ******** are the best!

Nwthatzfunny 9

Tuesday 13 March 2012 7:19

umm hw did that happen

cl4ptp 18

Thursday 29 November 2012 15:56

Top bird.

TheChelseaSays 34

Saturday 2 March 2013 0:46

Ohh wow that sound like my ex best friend. He is afraid of sex and nearly cries just mentioning it.

alphatoomega 21

Saturday 13 April 2013 22:21

Kinky.

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Gross Animals Cats Awkward Smells Love Miscellaneous Embarrassing Health Painful First Dates Work Christmas Grieving Social Media Music Anniversary Boredom Intimacy Abuse Ironic Transportation Am I overreacting? Alcohol Drunk AITA Kids Parents Gun control

The Top

Today, at a party I bumped into a friend of my ex. We caught the same bus home. He started telling me about my ex's "totally insane" ex-girlfriend. He refused to believe me when I told him he was talking about me. I had to sit there for half an hour as my personality was ripped to shreds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 175

You deserved it 5 875

Today, I finally got a product I ordered two weeks ago as a free trial-only pay shipping deal. Also today, the same company took an extra $130 out of my account without authorisation. Best part: when I called to sort things out, they told me they had no record of my order details. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 069

You deserved it 643

The Top

Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 152

You deserved it 39 591

Today, my girlfriend confessed to me that she'd cheated on me with my best friend. I can't get mad at her, because I cheated on her with him before she did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 1 990

Today, I'd organized a small dinner with immediate family for my birthday. I’ve since received texts from every one of them, cancelling due to varying reasons. My parents excuse is the funniest - they went out last night for a coworker’s party, and don’t want to go out again tonight. For me. Their child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 030

You deserved it 129

Today, I put my paycheck in my wallet, intending to cash it in the next day. Later on, I met up with a friend and went to a party. I ended up getting so drunk, I gave away my $400 check in exchange for a pack of smokes, thinking it was a $5 bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 524

You deserved it 58 098

Today, I had sex for the first time in months. His apology took longer than the sex did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 536

You deserved it 5 084

Today, my 70 year old grandma was yelling at me to take a pregnancy test, in the middle of Walmart. I'm 16, still a virgin and haven't had a boyfriend since I was 13. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 517

You deserved it 3 532