Love, Gross and Miscellaneous: Etiquette - FML

Etiquette

By FootFlakes - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Boston

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend once again that the dry skin she picks off her feet belong in the trash, not on our coffee table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 412

You deserved it 4 517

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 06/03/2015 01:34 - United States - Ridge

Today, my wife complained that the coffee grounds I swept into the sink grossed her out. Yesterday, I removed several panty-liners from her soiled underwear before doing the laundry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 154

You deserved it 3 009

By caitplaysguitar - 09/02/2010 14:56 - United States

Today, I watched my boyfriend pick all the dead skin off of his feet. And then fling it at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 238

You deserved it 6 531

Gross and weird

By Porkchop - 14/11/2021 23:00

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that it’s weird to defecate into your hand and throw it from the shower into the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 620

You deserved it 110

Good boy

By Anonymous - 09/12/2020 23:02 - Germany

Today, I told my mom that the puppy she was cuddling had a piece of dried poo stuck to its butt. Her reaction was to pluck the poo with her bare hands, put it on the coffee table next to my food, and continue cuddling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 129

By TwiceDaily,Kids - 06/04/2012 00:41 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 927

You deserved it 5 123

Greased lightning

By NotMyFootprints - 20/01/2022 08:01 - United States - Staten Island

Today, my housemate whined at me for tracking dirt into the house, saying how she shouldn't have to mop the floor after me, and that we have a doormat for a reason. She'd have a point, except I always walk barefoot indoors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 887

You deserved it 150

By jeesh - 31/01/2009 11:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 970

You deserved it 89 321

By feckingnasty - 26/01/2018 19:00

Today, I watched my husband pick his dead foot skin and say, "That's a keeper!" before putting it in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 650

You deserved it 463

By Anonymous - 14/02/2015 19:02 - United States - Lemont

Today, my mom's obsession with cleanliness hit a new low when she bitched at me for having trash in my trash can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 947

You deserved it 2 461

By I'm disgusting - 26/05/2019 22:11

Today, my girlfriend caught me using my T-shirt as a tissue. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 3 231

Next

Top comments

tacojauns 45

Tuesday 9 April 2013 22:36

At least she's not eating them?

liv_graham 7

Tuesday 9 April 2013 22:34

buy her a pumice stone and a garbage can

Comments

jlynpa 10

Wednesday 10 April 2013 2:16

Yummy!!! Fingered foods :)

Xotoolyxo 16

Wednesday 10 April 2013 3:38

Buy her some socks, she should keep those on at all times

motita69 5

Wednesday 10 April 2013 3:41

....

motita69 5

Wednesday 10 April 2013 3:45

All this time reading FMLs and I have not learned not to eat while doing so!

FlyingPie 17

Wednesday 10 April 2013 3:54

Tell her to get a pedicure or something, and let her foot the bill.

onorexveritas 23

Wednesday 10 April 2013 7:26

I know someone who does stuff like that too, its enough to make you want to scream in frustration if it weren't for the barf threatening to come up

xkncas 8

Wednesday 10 April 2013 8:17

Ew...break up with her... It won't get any better...

btcrusin 11

Wednesday 10 April 2013 16:36

What about toenail clippings?

juliamtz93 8

Wednesday 10 April 2013 16:51

thats so nasty!

Storia30 9

Wednesday 10 April 2013 18:18

Please get a new table before u guys have children! They put their mouths, toys, etc. on everything. Just imagine her feet flakes, ur babies pacifier ......yuck!

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Keywords

Weddings Awkward Miscellaneous My ex Love AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Health Relatable Mental health Therapy Argument Parenting Kids Thanksgiving Covid Medication Ironic Cute Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Work Money

The Top

Today, my dad agreed to let me borrow the car to go rock climbing with my friends. He'd just filled it up with gas, which is how I realized halfway back home that one of my "friends" had siphoned well over half the gas straight out of the tank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 896

You deserved it 2 259

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 038

You deserved it 4 250

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about what we want to be when we grow up. He said he wanted to be a bartender, and single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 253

You deserved it 2 091

Today, my wife, the budding environmentalist, who is also 6 months pregnant, threatened to leave me because according to her I'm responsible for the world's deforestation. I'd only drawn her a picture of her with our baby-to-be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 044

You deserved it 2 043

Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 516

You deserved it 3 845

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 352

You deserved it 101 172

Today, my partner and I had bought a short bus to convert to an RV, which is done and we are now ready to move in. That night, after I’m fully out of my place, she informs me she has feelings for my roommate and it’s something she must explore. I'm now homeless and they are traveling around in the conversion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 613

You deserved it 233

Today, my mom confessed to loving my "little sister" more than she loves me. My "little sister" is the family dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 693

You deserved it 3 975