Suspicious and Love: Explain yourself

Explain yourself

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 234

You deserved it 4 591

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Same thing different taste

This is fine

By Changing the locks tomorrow - 08/03/2023 06:00

Today, it’s almost half past midnight. I received a drunken voicemail from my husband saying that he won’t be coming home tonight because he’s too drunk to drive, but don’t worry, he’s staying at "Cindy’s house", safe and sound. Who's Cindy? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 034

You deserved it 131

By Helen - 10/11/2012 10:15 - United States - Pine Bluff

Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 076

You deserved it 3 088

By Anonymous - 19/12/2009 05:13 - United States

Today, I met a girl at the bar. Things were going really well and we ended up going back to her place. Problem? Her husband who normally works the graveyard shift was home sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 880

You deserved it 11 718

Dude, chill out

By U... - 18/08/2023 22:00

Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 115

By TheOtherWoman - 20/07/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 032

You deserved it 12 794

By thelunarwolf - 02/03/2011 03:41

Today, while trying to have a serious conversation with my husband about his drug use over text, he came home. Drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 867

You deserved it 8 880

By Anonymous - 27/08/2011 16:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a bar with some friends when my wife texted me asking where I was. Not wanting her to know I was at a bar, I told her I was still at work. She was sitting in the booth behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 567

You deserved it 67 657

Experimenting

By Anonymous - 16/06/2024 06:00 - United States - Englewood

Today, I woke up from a drunken daze and texted my best friend to take me back to my car. I got confused as to why our messages were green since it was iMessage. Well, come to find out I hooked up with her boyfriend in the bathroom the night before. I should mention I'm a dude, and so is he. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 609

By Renée - 25/08/2018 03:30

Today, I found out that my husband lied a few nights ago and was actually drinking with another woman at her house until after midnight. This woman is his best friend’s ex-fiancée, and she's been hitting on my husband for as long as I can remember. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 132

You deserved it 231

By furious at five in the morning - 02/07/2012 12:36 - United States - Mount Vernon

Today, I woke up at 5 am to the voices of my husband, who I gave my blessing to go out last night, and his buddies entering our apartment. They came here because the buddy who had planned to house them had no beer. They are drunk, drinking on our porch, shaving my husband's head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 389

You deserved it 4 112

afdude87 6

Sunday 30 January 2011 12:30

hmm people make typos?

three3_fml 2

Sunday 30 January 2011 12:31

Your wife is getting ******,

Comments

TheLastZombie 3

Wednesday 2 February 2011 6:11

Shit, I hope that was an honest mistake.

megandross 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 6:25

:C I'm sorry.

Reutan 0

Friday 4 February 2011 2:12

I'm sure someone's said this before, but /translated from french/. His/her is a lot closer in French, afaik, though I don't actually know the language.

domijohns 4

Monday 7 February 2011 16:04

you need to divorce her right now man cheating is by far the ultimate betrayal. she is your wife and she is spending the night at some other guys house? clearly she has lost her respect for you. as a man move on with your life.

overworked96 0

Friday 18 March 2011 23:58

whoever translated this doesn't understand french grammar. the gender of progressive pronouns is determined by the gender of the noun being described (french nouns possess a gender, either masculine or feminine, a concept that doesn't exist in english grammar. for example, un ordinateur, a computer (masculine) or une voiture, a car (feminine)) it is impossible to determine the gender of the person possessing the object by possessive pronouns alone.

Doortje 29

Saturday 19 March 2011 0:19

Whoever translated this DOES have a sense of French grammar actually. The original VDM is somewhat different; it's translated in a way that sounds better in English but still captures the lapsus of OP's wife.

lauraaaaaa_fml 7

Wednesday 4 May 2011 17:09

Generally speaking, you are right that in French it is not possible to tell from a possessive whether the owner of an object is male or female (eg "son ordinateur" can mean both "his computer" and "her computer"). However, in this context I am guessing the original French did make it clear since "at his place" translates as "chez lui", whereas "at her place" would be "chez elle" - the structure in French is different to that in English and a possessive is not used.