False red flag

By Anonymous - 13/02/2013 05:12 - United States - Palo Alto

Today, working as a waitress, I was asked by a customer, yet again, how my baby was doing. I don't have a baby, but I do look very similar to my 25-year-old coworker, who's a new mom. People confuse us all the time. Unfortunately, my crush, who was standing nearby, doesn't know that. FML
I agree, your life sucks 33 161
You deserved it 2 749
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Top comments

ilovera 7

Say "Sorry, I do not have a child, my coworker is the one who recently had a baby" very loudly, so your crush can hear.

202 3
HowieDoIt 21

This is not the mother you are looking for...

88 4

Comments

OscarDV 8

Yeah, if he asks next time say "Baby? Honey, you and I are going to make the baby. ;)"

11 6
Inediblepeaches 15

Yes, so you can win the title of complete ******* creep

6 0
ilovera 7

Say "Sorry, I do not have a child, my coworker is the one who recently had a baby" very loudly, so your crush can hear.

202 3
CheeseHater 23

Exactly, or at least at the same level as the person who asked. This FML seems so very trivial.

0 0
jogihoppa8343 23

would be the best clarification..

9 14
Kilv 13

No you're not a duck. Ducks cant type on keyboards

0 5
darkgodxvx 4

2 - Nawwwp. This would make waaaaay too much sense for someone to actually do. This is barely an FML because it is resolved in the next few lines anyway. Unless of course OP is so socially awkward that her brain BSOD'd on her. @OP What's wrong with moms? I pulled a 24 year old HB7.5 mother of three last Saturday. I never date moms, but I'll ONS them, and that's usually all they want anyway. I like to call it a win-win scenario.

0 0
flockz 19

i'm not sure he'll be gaga over you anymore.

9 26
I_iz_B_a_troll 23

I dunno, some guys would find it attractive. He might want his goo goo all up in... I can't think of an appropriate way to make that joke, sorry.

12 5
TheElBurrrito 21

#3, I wouldn't be so sure. Her crush could be thinking his chances of getting laid are pretty good, since she "has a kid".

0 0
HowieDoIt 21

This is not the mother you are looking for...

88 4
gc327072 30

*waves hand* "You're right, this is not the mother I'm looking for." *walks away entranced*

1 21
KY_Jelly 10

If he asks about it, say it's just a misunderstanding and offer to explain over coffee.

25 7
Acik91 26

It's OP that has a crush on him, as far as we know, it doesn't work the other way around. So, why would he bother to ask? The point is, it just decreases OP's chances.

15 9
Nolimit2217 32

Do you look big enough to look like you just gave birth?! That should be your FML..

0 5
nikhilambhorkar 24

I think you should start wearing a name plate for yourself.

21 2
journeytotheend 16

You mean, waitress actually have names? I thought it was just bar wench

23 4
carry_on 19

At least you might get tipped more if the customers think you've just become a mum...

36 1
missd420 16

This is very true. My tips quadrupled in my third trimester, and still stayed around triple, with my regulars at least, for over a year. Helped out SO much!

2 0
perdix 29

So, you're having a hard time getting rid of the "baby weight?" Maybe your crush is a plumpa humpa? If the guy is frequently at your restaurant, he's not just there for the pie -- at least, not that kind of pie ;)

24 9
SirEskimo 13

Pecan is my favorite, followed by Cream.

5 2
ICastillo 24

I think he would prefer to cream it himself.

15 3
perdix 29

#12, back in the day, he'd be jonesing for Hair Pie, but I guess that flavor has fallen out of favor.

12 3