Intimacy: Family Matters - FML

Family Matters

By whyme102008 - 13/07/2011 06:32 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152 112

You deserved it 8 671

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Same thing different taste

By Taylor Easley - 17/03/2012 04:53 - United States

Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 196

You deserved it 3 154

By ~__~ - 20/03/2015 21:23

Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 660

You deserved it 2 463

By drunkboysgf - 21/10/2011 07:39 - Canada

Today, I had to get my boyfriend's mom to help me get my boyfriend in his house because he was so drunk. He broke up with me for getting him in trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 613

You deserved it 5 231

Jailbird

By blondebarbie271 - 26/07/2015 23:55 - United States - Center Barnstead

Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 348

You deserved it 14 501

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 15/06/2023 10:00

Today, I caught my dad stealing my money again, after I'd warned him he was on his last chance. I threw him out, since he’s been sleeping rough on my sofa. He reported me to the authorities for "elder abuse" and showed them fresh bruises I know the conniving old bastard gave himself. I was handcuffed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 94

By No one special. - 12/12/2010 05:28 - United States

Today, my dad called for the first time in six months. He needs someone to bail him out of jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 498

You deserved it 2 433

By Username - 20/06/2011 15:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had to pick my parents up from jail. They thought it would be okay to have sex behind a bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 682

You deserved it 4 261

All in the family

By notasgood - 12/01/2010 23:54 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend dumped me so he could sleep with my mom without feeling guilty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 614

You deserved it 3 346

Fun for all the family

By Anonymous - 14/04/2021 02:00

Today, my mom and dad got into a fight, during which my dad said to my mom that her health conditions were of her own doing. Because of that, I got pissed and had a fight with my dad, taking my mom's side. Turns out, my mom took his side and ratted me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 282

By Anonymous - 08/01/2016 18:23

Today, I bailed my brother out of jail for violating a restraining order filed against him by his ex. I dropped him off at the place he told me he was staying at. Turned out it was his ex's house, and now he's in jail again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 134

You deserved it 3 563

Next

Top comments

unholymasta 4

Wednesday 13 July 2011 16:02

I think your dad had the right idea but shouldn't have physically assaulted your boyfriend. Hope you dumped his cheating ass.

marinus_fml 19

Wednesday 13 July 2011 16:05

At least it wasn't your mum you had to bail out after hitting your boyfriend when he made a move on your dad!

Comments

zhenluo 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 2:20

once again, surround yourself with better people.

AppleYummz_fml_fml 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 2:23

Texans-_-

notquitejewish 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 2:26

just awesome

cetlawizard 15

Thursday 14 July 2011 2:35

personally I think op should beat the crap out of both her mom and (hopefully EX) boyfriend then have her dad bail her out....now THAT would complete the circle, NOT sleeping with the father as (some of you sick f@&ks) suggested. ( sick f@&ks, you know who you are, get counseling for your incestuous thinking already & stop either doing it yourself or @ least wishing you could)...nuff said!

elpacino32605 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 2:46

now THAT is an FML!!!!

barbiegirl114170 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 2:48

thts tuff srry but ur life tty sux!

pepsilove_fml 4

Thursday 14 July 2011 2:49

ur dad every right to do what he did!! if my boyfrnd did that to me, then I wud sure as hell be glad to have a dad who knows how to take care this shit x)

mongella 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 2:57

your mum deserves a hiding..it just proves how greatful i should be to have the family i have.. what a ****** ****

WizardOfOzLA 2

Thursday 14 July 2011 2:59

fyl.. hard to imagine worse situation...

jessamy_brit 5

Thursday 14 July 2011 3:04

ahh your life sucks!): I'm sorry!

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The Top

Today, my son invited me to his first standup comedy gig. I accepted, only to later suffer through an hour of the worst jokes I've heard in my entire life. It was so bad, he made Dane Cook look like a comic genius, and I had to resist heckling him. Hours later, I still feel vaguely suicidal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 937

You deserved it 6 045

Today, someone thought I was my boyfriend's daughter, instead of his girlfriend. I'm 4'11", he's 6'2", and this has happened four times already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 119

The Top

Today, I'd set aside a weekend to play D&D. Some old acquaintances wanted to join, saying they'd pay for food. When I picked them up to drive them to the game, they claimed they were screwed on their paychecks, couldn't afford food or gas. However, they could afford Mountain Dew and candy bars for themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 129

Today, I realized the only way for me to actually socialize is to smoke a joint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 487

Today, my 21-year-old cat, who has learned when I go to bed and waits in my bedroom for me every night, was waiting for me as usual last night. She got on top of me and I fell asleep pretty fast. When I woke up, she was still there, so I decided to wait until she moved. It took me an hour to realize she'd died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 109

Today, I took my car to a car wash, and when I got it back, one of the rearview mirrors was missing. Someone knocked it off and the management refuses to cooperate on who was the thief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 77

Today, I'm going to court to give an eyewitness account of a robbery. Unfortunately, I had a wacky dream last night concerning the robbery, and no longer have any idea of what actually happened in real life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 670

You deserved it 3 820

Today, I told a co-worker to "lighten up, and stop wearing black all the time, it makes you look depressed." I didn't know his father had died the week before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 320

You deserved it 41 809