Relatable, Thief, Ironic and Miscellaneous: Fast response

Fast response

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom bought me pepper spray in case anyone tried to "mess" with me. I put it in my purse. Later, a guy snatched my purse before I even had the chance to take out the pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 577

You deserved it 4 276

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Same thing different taste

By Username - 09/02/2011 03:27

Today, I got mugged. But luckily I had on my keyring the pepper spray that my husband had insisted I keep with me. Unlucky for me, my husband's co-worker, who borrowed my keys, emptied my pepper by spraying it on a brick wall one day when he was bored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 399

You deserved it 3 127

I'm not sad. Or am I?

By Dr Pepper - 22/05/2019 18:05

Today, to protect me from the 'bad people' out there, my mom bought some pepper spray. While trying to test it, I accidentally sprayed myself in the eyes. Now, every person I meet asks me what I've been crying about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 1 711

By Anonymous - 19/09/2010 01:57 - United States

Today, after lunch with my frail, disabled, 87-year-old father, I reached into my purse for lipstick. I didn't recognize the cute cylinder I pulled out, but thinking it was a flashlight, I pressed the little button, spraying my dad and myself in the face with pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 591

You deserved it 36 414

Opportunist

By Tmo - 12/08/2023 08:00

Today, I saw a toddler bolt in a parking lot. Since he was running towards the road behind me, I scooped him up to hand off to his mother. She shrieked, snatched him from my hands, and sprayed me with mace. While I was writhing in pain, some punk kid lifted my wallet and phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 242

You deserved it 121

By Anonymous - 06/07/2011 18:45 - United States

Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 284

You deserved it 79 715

By Anonymous - 23/08/2012 16:14 - United States - Clarksburg

Today, while on the bus, I took out my breath spray. The elderly lady beside me thought it was pepper spray. She panicked and started screaming, which culminated in the man near her punching me in the jaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 761

You deserved it 1 953

Great timing

By alo1434 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 006

You deserved it 3 371

By pplsuck - 25/09/2012 23:57 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I went to eat out. When I sat down, I realized I forgot my straw. I took my purse with me, not wanting it to get stolen. Someone stole my food instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 320

You deserved it 2 779

By Anonymous - 17/08/2012 16:45 - United States - Brighton

Today, while on vacation with my family, my mother told me to put my phone in her purse, so it wouldn't get stolen. Someone stole her purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 223

You deserved it 2 242

By Anonymous - 10/06/2018 01:30

Today, the only parking spot available at the supermarket had some shopping carts in it, so I got out of my car and moved them. As soon as I finished, a lady stole the spot. When I confronted her, she maced me with pepper spray and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 273

You deserved it 342

cudi504 4

Friday 2 December 2011 19:17

Next time hold it at eye level at all times

cudi504 4

Friday 2 December 2011 19:21

Thanks iv been working out

Comments

NullPointer 20

Saturday 3 December 2011 4:43

I don't want to say that you deserve it, but I don't like people carrying weapons on them. What happened is better than you using your pepper spray on a friend or someone asking for directions.

JukeboxValkyrie 19

Saturday 3 December 2011 5:09

Hopefully he won't know what to do with the mace and accidentally spray himself in the face. In a small room. With no air circulation.

heyred 11

Saturday 3 December 2011 5:50

Move to a state that has concealed handgun permits.

amazinglyweird 1

Saturday 3 December 2011 8:57

hahaha..i like the idea of pepper spray though..ur mother rocks

PrimeStarscream 30

Saturday 3 December 2011 10:34

YDI, you should have kept it on your keyring and kept your keys in your pocket.

drewfus2 6

Saturday 3 December 2011 12:50

That is exactly why I carry two cans of pepper spray and three knives on my person at all times.

AliCat18 12

Saturday 3 December 2011 16:41

wow i can see you use your logic when it comes to defending yourself! your mom started and gave you the pepperspray, she can only do so much! if your too slow to use your brain then you are on your own!

laundryninja 1

Saturday 3 December 2011 22:29

carry a gun

death_prevails 6

Sunday 4 December 2011 5:06

Why would you want it in your handbag anyway? We all know what women's handbags are like... "Oh, hang on a second Mr. Mugger, I just need to dig through all this useless crap to find my pepper spray here..."