School, Embarrassing, Awkward, Injury Health Fight Club - FML

Fight Club

Nose bleed - 16/04/2014 02:48 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

WTFruits - 29/05/2013 18:29 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, my math teacher raged at a student for eating an apple in class. As he yelled at the student, he slapped the apple out of his hand and right into my face. Everyone laughed, including the teacher. FML

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Got away with it, surely?

Cinnanyan - 02/06/2016 10:20 - Philippines - Quezon City

Today, due to me not looking, I accidentally bit an apple made of styrofoam that was meant to be a part of a display on the kitchen table. My roommates were there and me not wanting to embarrass myself by putting it back, I walked out, apple in hand, to throw it away elsewhere. FML

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jellybean - 06/11/2009 23:37 - United States

Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML

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yum yogurt - 30/10/2011 20:15 - United States

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt. FML

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Never sneak up

Anonymous - 26/01/2022 14:01

Today, I was listening to some music before school started, which is why I didn't hear my teacher sneak up behind me. When she laid her hand on my shoulder, of course I accidentally punch her in the face. Her nose bled. FML

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Bonapp - 09/02/2012 22:11 - France

Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML

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permanently scarred - 25/08/2018 15:00

Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML

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Good initiative

cough - 27/12/2019 14:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was choking on an apple and asked my sister to get me some water. She got some. Then drank it herself. FML

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justmyluck? - 18/02/2011 03:02

Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML

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Anonymous - 13/03/2011 22:26 - United States

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

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Awesomeaxel 24

Wednesday 16 April 2014 16:07

That's actually pretty funny. I'm sorry op

Black_Knight80 13

Wednesday 16 April 2014 16:11

an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Haha yea right! sorry OP

sbdaruler 1

Thursday 17 April 2014 0:57

HAHAHAHA HILARIOUS!!!

Witchylady 17

Thursday 17 April 2014 1:04

Oh you poor thing. Aren't you glad high school doesn't last forever? Hope your self esteem is not too sliced up?

mybubbles2000 13

Thursday 17 April 2014 2:22

Ouch! Sorry OP. Hope you feel better.

belljars 22

Thursday 17 April 2014 3:37

How to eat an apple 101

realjojo 11

Thursday 17 April 2014 6:23

Sorry for you OP. But I still hope there is a YouTube video for this...

PassiveAggresive 12

Thursday 17 April 2014 10:38

Made me chuckle, sorry! Well, the best you can do is embrace it!

eyepuppy 31

Thursday 17 April 2014 10:58

I keep trying to picture this in my head but can't. you must be special when it comes to eating.

RomeyRich 22

Thursday 17 April 2014 12:31

lmfao ouch

CrazyManNo9 29

Thursday 17 April 2014 12:37

Warhol's 15 minutes of fame!

bubblesrkool 6

Thursday 17 April 2014 14:20

I feel really bad but LOLOLOLOLOL Hahahhahhaaa

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I'm recovering from a urinary tract infection. The infection made me have to pee constantly. Now the antibiotics I'm taking for it are giving me the shits instead. FML

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Today, on a train, I nearly choked while sleeping with my mouth wide open. The little old lady sitting opposite me was entertaining herself by throwing little pieces of balled-up tin foil into my mouth. FML

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Today, my father is strongly trying to convince me not to have kids because "autism runs strong" in my husband's family, and he’ll be damned if any grandchild of his is subnormal because what would the neighbours think, and he couldn’t invite his colleagues to our family barbecues anymore. FML

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Today, I got out of bed and saw muddy footprints next to it. They were at least three sizes bigger than mine. I live alone. FML

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Today, while working as a swim instructor, I started singing the hokey pokey to get all the kids used to putting their faces in the water. One of the kids was covering his ears. When I asked him why, he said "because you were singing." He's 3. FML

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Today, a teacher asked me to edit a video of her class. Unfamiliar with cameras that work with video tape, I accidentally recorded over her video. The footage is impossible for me to get back. FML

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