Sex and Intimacy: Filth

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Filth

By roughsexgonewrong - 05/11/2013 18:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my boyfriend's response to me saying, "Most women like a bit of filth in the bedroom every now and again" was to start farting in bed. Not quite what I meant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 263

You deserved it 11 628

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/04/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 741

You deserved it 36 375

So sensual...

By Wellokthen - 17/02/2017 22:00 - United States

Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 111

You deserved it 1 170

By fartlover - 27/11/2009 05:10 - Canada

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 310

You deserved it 8 649

Love is…

By Anonymous - 29/07/2012 04:25 - Denmark - Frederiksberg

Today, while getting ready to go to bed, I told my boyfriend that I feel depressed due to the lack of intimacy in our relationship. His response was to roll over, fall asleep, and send a deadly fart my way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 320

You deserved it 3 888

By byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 322

You deserved it 5 077

By ahhhboys - 27/11/2010 19:12 - Romania

Today, my boyfriend of six months said he wanted to take our relationship one step further. I thought he was going to ask me to move in. He meant he wanted to fart in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 555

You deserved it 6 258

To each his own

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 14:00

Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 248

By Anonymous - 19/04/2015 14:04 - United States - Lawrence

Today, my boyfriend let out a horrible fart in the middle of sex. Even though it was clearly his, he gave me disgusted look, called me a dirty bitch, then kept going. Let's just say I didn't finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 952

You deserved it 3 596

By Username - 12/03/2011 05:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 207

You deserved it 8 337

By GasAttack - 07/09/2009 13:32 - Canada

Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 485

You deserved it 8 538

cakefete2 30

Tuesday 5 November 2013 22:55

Bet his idea of a dirty pic is a snap shot of a garbage can.

jdeezy01 13

Tuesday 5 November 2013 22:56

There is a difference between dirty and filthy.

Comments

breakinlegs 19

Tuesday 5 November 2013 23:34

filth was probably not the best word choice..

ChakatBlackstar 29

Tuesday 5 November 2013 23:40

to be fair...some people are into that

JMichael 25

Tuesday 5 November 2013 23:41

Should of been more clear OP.

kappinlivy 9

Wednesday 6 November 2013 0:05

In all fairness he did answer your request

underthesea12 24

Wednesday 6 November 2013 0:08

not what you meant... but it is what you said!

stephenjn 11

Wednesday 6 November 2013 0:17

This comment was obviously not posted by my wife... FML

apu_nahasapeemap 10

Wednesday 6 November 2013 0:26

Not the sharpest tool in the drawer, is he.

beautycat246 7

Wednesday 6 November 2013 0:27

*my saying. :-) lol sorry I had to.

patchesOhoolihan 12

Wednesday 6 November 2013 0:28

Be more specific next time

graceinsheepwear 33

Wednesday 6 November 2013 1:03

Somebody needs to dick him down.

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The Top

Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Just as she took her shirt off, her phone rang. It was her mom, demanding she return home. Now I've been cockblocked, and my girlfriend's mom seems to be a goddamn clairvoyant. Awesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 358

You deserved it 5 803

Today, I was studying my anatomy book for nursing school while in the break room at my day job. My nosy-ass, ignorant coworker who always finds a way to butt into everyone’s business told the front office I was looking at porn. I got written up for, "displaying offensive materials." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 623

You deserved it 105

The Top

Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 890

You deserved it 3 811

Today, I was fired from my catering job for pointing out the unsafe food conditions. I'm studying food safety in college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 779

You deserved it 6 128

Today, I stopped by McDonald's with my brother. I asked him what he wanted and I repeated his order. The lady said, "We don't have that here." I stupidly answered, "That's weird. We have it where I come from," and she replied, "Where did you come from honey, 1995?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 151

You deserved it 571

Today, I was trying to keep myself occupied due to my recent breakup. I was reading this book someone gave me about animal communication, so after a while, I figured I'd give it a shot. Then it dawned on me; I'm single, at home on a Friday night, and I'm trying to talk to my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 814

You deserved it 7 178

Today, I mentioned to my mum that one of my friends is pregnant. She decided I was lying, that I'm the one who's actually pregnant, and that I'm going to get checked out by a doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 291

You deserved it 2 684

Today, while preparing for our holiday, I realised I will have my period that week. My husband is now sulking because he thinks I’ll be so grumpy, I’ll ruin the holiday. I’ve had to talk him out of cancelling our flight twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 052

You deserved it 349