Intimacy: Final push

Final push

By satisfied88 - 02/06/2011 14:49

Today, I had an orgasm for the first time in almost three months. My husband was beaming, saying he had given it his all and was ecstatic that he had finally satisfied me. But to be honest, I'd remembered we had a bag of potato chips in the kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 733

You deserved it 16 065

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Same thing different taste

Poor performance

By Anonymous - 28/12/2022 03:00

Today, I finally had sex with my husband and orgasmed. Three hours apart from each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 092

You deserved it 323

First time

By Anonymous - 13/03/2021 23:30 - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 164

You deserved it 258

Finally!

By oppsiedaisey - 02/09/2019 12:00

Today, it's been so long since my husband has been able to give me an orgasm that when he finally did today, I started sobbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 063

You deserved it 370

Time for some DIY

By Anonymous - 20/05/2022 22:00

Today, my husband and I were home alone and we wanted to do the nasty multiple times before our kids got back from school. He lasted less than two minutes, then fell asleep. It's been 6 weeks since my last orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 613

You deserved it 375

By Highnapple - 04/03/2015 07:55 - Canada - Sarnia

Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 133

You deserved it 4 527

Just once

By Anonymous - 19/02/2020 20:00

Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 976

You deserved it 201

By anonomous - 07/04/2012 15:27 - United States

Today, after years of secretly faking my orgasms, my husband gave me my first real one. Afterward was also the first time he ever accused me of faking it because, "It was different from all the other times." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 965

You deserved it 46 352

Good question

By Juliett - 29/08/2019 19:00 - United States - Wisconsin Rapids

Today, my boyfriend gave me an amazing orgasm after a long dry spell. I moaned his name as I climaxed, and he replied, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 852

You deserved it 310

Effective

By WinnerWinnerNotEatingDinner - 16/11/2015 06:44 - United States - Arlington

Today, I was the first guy ever to give my girlfriend an orgasm. I was also the first guy to make her poop at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 225

You deserved it 3 492

By hiccups - 03/11/2012 15:52 - United States - New York

Today, I had my first orgasm. I also came to the realization that whenever I orgasm I get an uncontrollable case of hiccups for at least half an hour afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 055

You deserved it 3 686

doc_j 0

Thursday 2 June 2011 19:06

what in the world. a bag a chips? break it to ur husband that hes never gonna do it for you unless he cums skittles in ur mouth from now on

khaya 9

Thursday 2 June 2011 19:24

What would you do for a bag of jelly beans?

Comments

jewelsfml 0

Sunday 25 September 2011 2:01

at comment #2. I'm 105 and I got horny thinking of key lime pie!

DreBeezy 9

Saturday 5 November 2011 1:20

wow. reminds of the episode of family guy when stewie said that pancakes were better than sex. lol XD

biggestfan23 11

Monday 9 January 2012 4:40

That's sad

Razman201 14

Monday 9 April 2012 20:59

Well guess someone has a slight issue lol.

Yomojo 5

Wednesday 20 June 2012 5:44

Idgi

kinz223 5

Tuesday 17 July 2012 21:49

U are sick.

koalallama11 6

Tuesday 30 October 2012 4:01

I'm glad that food makes you so happy

sugarbear0727 19

Tuesday 26 February 2013 15:24

That is too funny. And I've never had an ****** that wasnt from self-play. :/ I feel like I'm missing out.

XxQuartersxX 14

Tuesday 29 October 2013 0:40

Are you like, obese?

absoliutenus 1

Sunday 20 April 2014 21:17

fat people man ......just wow ....

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The Top

Today, I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were three girls loudly discussing blowjob techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was, "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 369

You deserved it 29 696

Today, my long distance girlfriend of almost two years broke up with me because I didn't like her drinking and driving. Her reasoning was, "I don't go out that often so what's the problem?" or "I'm safe when I drive drunk." Yeah? How many drunk drivers thought the same then wrapped their car around a tree? FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 94

The Top

Today, I found out the procedure manual I've been creating for months and finally finished is going to be used to train the person replacing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 208

You deserved it 170

Today, I stayed with a friend because I was recently kicked out of my home and had nowhere to go. When I went out for job applications, she asked, "Can you pick me up a pack of smokes?" and then got mad that I didn't have the money, calling me selfish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 785

You deserved it 329

Today, I got a citation from my landlord because my puppy couldn't make it to the grass and peed in the shrubs. Later in the evening, I got a citation that my music was too loud. Until I'd submitted my 30-day notice yesterday, no one ever had a problem with me FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 639

You deserved it 777

Today, I was in a store and asked the sales clerk, “wow, how many months pregnant are you?” She replied, “my daughter is three years old…” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 618

You deserved it 7 288

Today, I was told I will be having twins; this came as a shock since there are no twins in my family. When I asked my mom about it, she said that she wasn't surprised and not to worry about it because she had "absorbed her twin" and that the problem would "take care of itself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 152

You deserved it 2 054

Today, I learned that despite having told them two years ago, my parents still aren't accepting of me being gay. I found this out when my mom called and asked if I was "cured" yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 348

You deserved it 5 486

Same thing different taste

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