Miscellaneous: Finger lickin'

Finger lickin'

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Brecksville

Today, I smelled chicken nuggets and asked my boyfriend if he was making some. He wasn't. It was my armpits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 596

You deserved it 43 877

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Same thing different taste

By isoheartcaitlin - 25/08/2009 03:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 372

You deserved it 6 168

By fartlover - 27/11/2009 05:10 - Canada

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 305

You deserved it 8 647

By Noname - 16/01/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 641

You deserved it 6 666

Caught

By broke_otaku - 09/08/2009 04:21 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me to sniff his armpit to see if he was the one who smelled. I did because we are that comfortable with us. After a couple of sniffs I heard laughter. I forgot I was sitting in his living room and his family was watching me the whole time. I am now the BO finder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 244

You deserved it 49 383

By Reliena - 21/01/2012 05:47 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were in the shower, we began to get a bit frisky. That was until I lifted my arms and he immediately made one of his "Chewbacca Calls." He was referring to my armpits that I had forgotten to shave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 566

You deserved it 29 192

By Anonymous - 15/12/2009 04:16 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me why girls don't have armpit hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 837

You deserved it 6 040

Kitchen nightmare

By not chicken spaghetti - 18/12/2016 23:58 - United States - Clarksville

Today, while cooking supper with my boyfriend, we both smelled something funny. He tasted the sauce I was making, then asked me to taste it because something was off. I guess the burned Teflon of our cheap pot mixed with Ro-Tel just doesn't work that well. Now we're having dry chicken and plain noodles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 822

You deserved it 686

By sausagefingers - 22/10/2012 05:29 - United States - Nixa

Today, I overheard my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells like deli meat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 697

You deserved it 4 035

By Maria - 14/03/2017 15:00 - United Kingdom - York

Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 663

You deserved it 404

By samantha - 27/01/2010 14:05 - Singapore

Today, I was sick with the flu so my boyfriend announced that he would make me some chicken soup. It was touching until I stumbled to the kitchen and found out that his "chicken soup" was actually leftover KFC bones boiled in water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 745

You deserved it 4 380

noobsatin 19

Tuesday 1 October 2013 0:20

that's a bad choice in deodorant.

misspulkadot24 17

Tuesday 1 October 2013 0:21

Except your armpit isn't finger licking good ya nasty. Use some Dove on that shit.

Comments

iiyahkinz 9

Tuesday 1 October 2013 6:15

Gotta wash em armpits

wynnona 17

Tuesday 1 October 2013 6:56

I read that as your armpits were making chicken nuggets...

billybeaver86 6

Tuesday 1 October 2013 7:08

*Insert Cleveland Brown's voice* Oh that's nasty!

Dusty_Busters 15

Tuesday 1 October 2013 8:05

You're gross and you should feel gross!

Jst4kicks 16

Tuesday 1 October 2013 8:27

rhats ****** disgusting

janiiine 5

Tuesday 1 October 2013 8:51

There's worse things armpits could smell of.

Ksweety_fml 27

Tuesday 1 October 2013 9:46

I don't think I wanna eat chicken nuggets ever again.

amarie2009 22

Tuesday 1 October 2013 10:39

You know there is something called water and soap!!

Ki11erC 18

Tuesday 1 October 2013 10:44

Nomnomnom

lesley3r3 22

Tuesday 1 October 2013 11:27

Better come up with something looks well bad it happened when owners aren't home... FYL

mattrd_fml 31

Tuesday 1 October 2013 16:00

Huh?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was just told by a hiring manager that the reasons I'm not getting interviews is because I have a spotty work history. My work history is spotty because my mother ignores my food allergies so she can get attention and, as a result, I'm chronically ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 198

You deserved it 208

Today, after my husband got ready for work, he touched my arm and slowly bent down. I assumed he was going to say he loved me and to have a good day. As I quickly thought of a loving response and prepared to give him a kiss, he whispered in my ear, "Did you put a dead mouse in the toilet?" Thanks a lot, cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 132

The Top

Today, I walked into the gym to do legs and walked up to the leg press machine where a trainer was taking weights off. I asked him if he was about to use the machine and he gave me an odd look and said no, then walked back to his client who was in a wheelchair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 148

Today, I was at a restaurant. I turned around looking for the restroom. I almost walked into the men’s room, then corrected myself and stumbled in the hallway looking for the ladies’. The employees thought I was drunk and kicked me out. I hadn’t had a single drink. I’m just clumsy as shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 500

You deserved it 260

Today, I had lunch with my ex. A lady sat down behind her facing me. No eyeballs, no eyelids, just deep flesh tunnels into her head. I was traumatised and stopped eating and talking. I couldn’t say anything, as I imagined no eyes means better hearing. My ex said I was being rude and hasn’t talked to me since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 446

Today, I woke up and went into my living room, only to be greeted by my aunt, sister, and mother watching a very graphic video showing women giving birth. They forced me to stay and watch it until the end. It was almost 90 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 889

You deserved it 5 319

Today, I did an actual double take when my son complained about having to block the phone number of his most recent one-night stand when she got pregnant, but luckily he gave her a fake name, so he doesn’t have to delete his Facebook. How many grandkids do I have out there you little prick? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 543

You deserved it 647

Today, I was at a public pool. A very fat kid yelled, "Cannon Ball!" He jumped right on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 835

You deserved it 4 522

Finger lickin'

Same thing different taste

Caught

Kitchen nightmare

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