FML Approved, Video #5 By Louis - 21/03/2017 23:18 A hole in one, in one. I agree, your life sucks 615 You deserved it 242 Share Tweet Share
Today, I was on the webcam with my boyfriend. I could see that he was on the couch, and alone, so I took off my shirt and smiled, waiting to see his reaction. He smiled at me but then kept looking in another direction. I playfully asked "What's so distracting?" His answer: "History Channel". FML I agree, your life sucks 47 434 You deserved it 10 095
Today, my daughter found a hair baked into the crust of her pizza. Grossed out, she put it down the garbage disposal, but I told her to dig it out so we could get a refund. After dinner, she came looking for the saved pizza crust. I was baffled about where it was until I realized I'd eaten it. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 292 You deserved it 4 692
Today, I was boiling pasta and tasting it every now and then too see if it was done. As an afterthought, I threw in some lentil pasta as well. Only after tasting a few more times did I notice the maggots that were now slowly rising in the boiling water. I didn't expect that much protein in those lentils. FML I agree, your life sucks 413 You deserved it 145
Today, I was walking in the park when I heard some boys shouting behind me. As I turned around they poured a bucket of red liquid over my head. They thought I was someone they knew. I wasn't. And I was wearing a $200 white dress. Red dye doesn't come out of white dresses. FML I agree, your life sucks 84 160 You deserved it 4 934
Today, my boyfriend of 5 years almost broke up with me. Why? Our one month old's hair is growing in blonde, and we both have dark hair. Did I cheat? No. I had blonde hair as a child until I was 4... As did everyone else born in my family. I guess this factor doesn't count when you're paranoid. FML I agree, your life sucks 58 017 You deserved it 5 696
Today, at the camp that I work at, a little girl asked to "feel" my muscles. Thinking it was cute, I flexed for her. She laughed and said, "No, really." FML I agree, your life sucks 20 313 You deserved it 8 215
Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn how to please me in bed. Now all he does is suck on my toes, and thinks it's weird that I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nymphomaniacal weirdo. FML I agree, your life sucks 38 329 You deserved it 5 372
Today, I missed my bus. I had to ride my bike 2 miles. Once I left, some jerk nearly hit me. I flipped him off and shouted obsceneties. It was my dad, offering me a ride. He left. FML I agree, your life sucks 9 679 You deserved it 42 598
What an icehole!