Miscellaneous: Fountainhead

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Fountainhead

By iliketurtles - 24/02/2009 22:57 - United States

Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 360

You deserved it 7 778

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Same thing different taste

By pissingcontest - 30/05/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 652

You deserved it 46 034

AKA taking a screenshot

By Anonymous - 05/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 115

You deserved it 397

Faulty plumbing

By Anonymous - 08/02/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 117

Go big or go home

By kinwar - 27/09/2021 07:01 - United States - Hamburg

Today, I sneezed and peed myself while working out at the gym. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 127

How smelly is your piss?

By Anonymous - 08/04/2021 21:00 - Finland

Today, I peed myself in the dressing room after work when I sneezed. Someone else just walked in as I was trying to dry off my jeans with paper, and probably smelled that I had peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 155

By pissfaced - 02/01/2010 13:41 - New Zealand

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 131

You deserved it 73 418

By Anonymous - 29/12/2014 19:11 - United States - Hillsboro

Today, while putting a water bottle into the fridge, I suddenly had to sneeze. The force of my sneezing propelled my head against the open fridge door, causing a gushing wound to my forehead. Bless me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 119

You deserved it 3 609

Fire hose

By pissedoffandon - 06/05/2009 14:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 943

You deserved it 61 833

By Anonymous - 01/10/2011 11:44 - Sweden

Today, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head against the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 210

You deserved it 6 113

Pissed

By Anonymous - 13/01/2014 07:34 - United States - Ewa Beach

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 958

You deserved it 54 106

holynemesis1208 3

Wednesday 25 February 2009 1:13

anything that starts with, when i pissing in a urinal, you know it's gonna be a good story.

drybamboo 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 1:36

Today, I was peeing in a urinal when this guy next to me decided to sneeze ...and use me as his urinal. FML

Comments

ilawlzatyou 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 2:18

Did he say God bless you? lol.

zirathedarkelf 2

Wednesday 25 February 2009 2:19

Oh god that's horrible. XD It makes me glad that I have to sit to pee for a change. XD

Amkii 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 2:52

OK, this one made me lol reallllly hard. Fav'd!

serially 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 3:00

awesome.

Stephen_fml 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 3:48

i'd say thats more of an FML for the guy you pissed on

NorfolkDude 2

Wednesday 25 February 2009 4:04

The other guy should come on here and write a fml about this guy who peed on him. lol.

afroshinizzle 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 4:06

Still, no matter what, overall this story is hilarious. No one can say it isn't.

raquel09 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 6:04

lmfao i cant stop laughing. thats greattt. sorry..

genius_man16 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 10:37

I want to know who sneezes so hard they go forward far enough to actually hit that metal thing. Seriously, who sneezes like that?

TT01Fanatic 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 10:38

I can totally imagine this in a cohen brothers movie.

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The Top

Today, I was working at a restaurant when my manager approached me and informed me that there was people having sex in the women's washroom, and he needed me to go in and ask them to cut it out. So I did. Five minutes later, a woman walks out with her disabled son and asks to talk to my manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 708

You deserved it 3 248

Today, a customer came in with a laptop smashed beyond repair. She asked if we could recover her files, but thanks to my idiot boss's new store policy I had to ask her a bunch of questions, including if she had tried "turning it on and off." She stared at me, speechless, like I was a complete moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 161

You deserved it 4 408

The Top

Today, I was at a "Bring your family to work" event. I noticed my coworker brought his kids but not his wife, so I asked, "No wife today?" Everyone glared at me and he pointedly replied that she's married to someone else now. I had no idea. Now everyone thinks I'm an insensitive prick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 668

You deserved it 9 054

Today, after my husband got ready for work, he touched my arm and slowly bent down. I assumed he was going to say he loved me and to have a good day. As I quickly thought of a loving response and prepared to give him a kiss, he whispered in my ear, "Did you put a dead mouse in the toilet?" Thanks a lot, cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 948

You deserved it 133

Today, my boyfriend and I went out on his boat. We got in the water and started to have sex when a fishing boat came by and chummed. There's nothing more romantic than bloody fish guts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 932

You deserved it 11 145

Today, I spent five hours sobbing in my room due to antidepressant withdrawal. My mother refused to come and talk to me, because I'm "a terrible, hateful child who only cares about herself." Last week, I spent two hours comforting her because my brother hadn't called in a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 212

You deserved it 3 695

Today, I tried telling the girl I like how I feel about her. Little does she know I broke up a 6-year relationship for her. We're "just friends” she says. FML

I agree, your life sucks 206

You deserved it 1 978

Today, I told my mom I've been taking yoga lessons, and that it'd be cool if she took some with me. She immediately went on a rant, calling yoga "satanic" and accusing me of trying to get her into "devil worship". Well, that's the last time I try to patch our relationship up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 181

You deserved it 3 168