Sex, Frustration and Intimacy: Gagging for it

Gagging for it

By Anonymous - 26/06/2011 21:42 - United States

Today, I went on a third date with a guy, hoping I'd finally get some action. I got a high five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 081

You deserved it 10 626

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Same thing different taste

By Sl3vin - 19/01/2010 14:17 - United States

Today, I went on a third date with a guy, hoping that maybe finally I would get some physical interaction. I did. I got a high five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 430

You deserved it 6 848

By BadGuyLuck - 25/02/2012 06:33 - United States

Today, I got asked out for the second time in my life. Since my first date didn't go so well I thought I might have better luck with a different guy. I had to end the date when he confessed it was his destiny to kill his father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 975

You deserved it 2 799

By bootycall:( - 15/02/2017 13:00 - United States - Oxnard

Today, I went on what I thought was my fifth date with a guy. We finally got intimate and it was amazing. As soon as it was over, he said : "Sorry babe, I should get going. I have a date tomorrow and I'd hate to be tired for it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 944

You deserved it 1 270

By Ummm - 03/08/2016 19:45 - United States - Wheaton

Today, I was on a second date with a guy. Things got a little handsy and he pulled down his pants to reveal a micro-penis. He then smiled and asked me to be his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 170

You deserved it 2 901

By Unlucky - 25/07/2012 13:03 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 871

You deserved it 3 618

By stupiddddddd - 08/07/2009 07:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I got further with a guy than I've ever before. By that, I mean I got his phone number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 642

You deserved it 9 047

Hanging

By James - 31/07/2011 04:20 - United States

Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 394

You deserved it 18 019

Hard no

By unemployable - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had an important job interview. The interviewer really seemed to like me. Instead of hiring me, he asked me out on a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 292

You deserved it 3 587

By Anonymous - 26/01/2013 17:20 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 370

You deserved it 47 335

Let down

By heartbreakkid21 - 14/05/2009 15:22 - United States

Today, I was on a date with this girl I actually like. The date was going really well and it seemed like it would be a good night. While in the movie theater, I went to hold her hand and instead she gave me a hand shake and said, "You're so funny, I'm so glad we're friends". FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 191

You deserved it 5 619

flockz 19

Monday 27 June 2011 0:50

a high five where her hand was the ****** and his hand was his dick.

fthku 13

Monday 27 June 2011 1:50

$50 per session is my type of girl.

Comments

greekamericanpri 2

Monday 27 June 2011 1:05

the best birth control ever! lol

mismonroe 0

Monday 27 June 2011 1:06

I'd rather see his pen..is.

Babalu722 3

Monday 27 June 2011 1:06

Thats a ZINGA!

ThorneCrossed 9

Monday 27 June 2011 1:07

ask him for a 'high five' with a reach around and cuddling afterward

Consequences 0

Monday 27 June 2011 1:08

So initiate it. Quit being a cat.

meggs2209 0

Monday 27 June 2011 1:09

that's some hot action! look out! that fourth date JUST MIGHT be a knuckle touch... a girl can only dream, huh?

JLY_fml 0

Monday 27 June 2011 1:09

either he is gay or ur just ugly

Quest_ 13

Monday 27 June 2011 1:11

Double post

danz123 7

Monday 27 June 2011 1:16

Ugh, girls have only one thing on their mind don't they? *Whimpers* Don't you care about his emoti- OK I'll stop now.

j_cat187 19

Monday 27 June 2011 1:19

let him know you are horney by plowing him in the restarunt

vihan 0

Monday 27 June 2011 1:41

what's that

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Holidays Lonely Relatable Capitalism Work Bosses You're fired Cars Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, I was giving a presentation in front of my class. Mid-speech, I felt a sudden urge to sneeze and tried to hold it in. Instead, I let out the most obnoxious, window-rattling sneeze imaginable, complete with a spray of snot, which landed on my notes. I think I traumatized my classmates for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 114

Today, I was upset after my boyfriend and I broke up. My best friend heard and told me she would be right over. Three hours of waiting later, she stumbles in wasted. She had been at the bar, with my ex, making sure he was okay. For me, I just got a list of all the drinks she had that night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 086

You deserved it 2 489

The Top

Today, I asked my mother to take a picture of me with my phone. She managed to drop the phone thrice within 5 minutes. Now the phone is busted and she refuses to pay for the repairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 304

You deserved it 708

Today, I superglued my headphones back together. They weren't dry before I put them back in my ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 959

You deserved it 53 576

Today, my daughter believed that watching the Big Bang Theory would count as studying for her chemistry final. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 825

You deserved it 7 148

Today, I was online and I saw a friend that I hadn't talked to in two years come online. I IM'ed him, only for him to respond, "I haven't responded to any messages of yours in over a year. Most people would get the hint." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 785

You deserved it 8 442

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up because we got into a fight over what color that confusing black and blue and white and gold dress was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 368

You deserved it 26 009

Today, working midnight at a coffee shop, I had a customer set down his phone on the counter to pay. Screen up. Still playing his, "Ebony Rimjob" porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 353

You deserved it 401