Sex, Frustration and Intimacy: Gagging for it - FML

Gagging for it

By Anonymous - 26/06/2011 21:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went on a third date with a guy, hoping I'd finally get some action. I got a high five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 081

You deserved it 10 626

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Same thing different taste

By Sl3vin - 19/01/2010 14:17 - United States

Today, I went on a third date with a guy, hoping that maybe finally I would get some physical interaction. I did. I got a high five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 430

You deserved it 6 848

By BadGuyLuck - 25/02/2012 06:33 - United States

Today, I got asked out for the second time in my life. Since my first date didn't go so well I thought I might have better luck with a different guy. I had to end the date when he confessed it was his destiny to kill his father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 975

You deserved it 2 799

By bootycall:( - 15/02/2017 13:00 - United States - Oxnard

Today, I went on what I thought was my fifth date with a guy. We finally got intimate and it was amazing. As soon as it was over, he said : "Sorry babe, I should get going. I have a date tomorrow and I'd hate to be tired for it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 944

You deserved it 1 270

By Ummm - 03/08/2016 19:45 - United States - Wheaton

Spicy

Today, I was on a second date with a guy. Things got a little handsy and he pulled down his pants to reveal a micro-penis. He then smiled and asked me to be his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 170

You deserved it 2 901

By Unlucky - 25/07/2012 13:03 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 871

You deserved it 3 618

By stupiddddddd - 08/07/2009 07:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I got further with a guy than I've ever before. By that, I mean I got his phone number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 642

You deserved it 9 047

Hanging

By James - 31/07/2011 04:20 - United States

Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 394

You deserved it 18 019

Hard no

By unemployable - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had an important job interview. The interviewer really seemed to like me. Instead of hiring me, he asked me out on a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 292

You deserved it 3 587

By Anonymous - 26/01/2013 17:20 - Ireland - Dublin

Spicy

Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 370

You deserved it 47 335

Let down

By heartbreakkid21 - 14/05/2009 15:22 - United States

Today, I was on a date with this girl I actually like. The date was going really well and it seemed like it would be a good night. While in the movie theater, I went to hold her hand and instead she gave me a hand shake and said, "You're so funny, I'm so glad we're friends". FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 191

You deserved it 5 619

Next

Top comments

flockz 19

Monday 27 June 2011 0:50

a high five where her hand was the ****** and his hand was his dick.

fthku 13

Monday 27 June 2011 1:50

$50 per session is my type of girl.

Comments

RyanMacVey 17

Monday 27 June 2011 0:51

oh :/ was trying to be funny ... sorry to disappoint master (;

zander2413 0

Monday 27 June 2011 0:51

that's more action than I've ever got I still wet the bed I can't do anything

zander2413 0

Monday 27 June 2011 0:52

with anyone):

smurfsarwales 9

Monday 27 June 2011 0:51

ur accent even shows on fml :D

shali14 0

Monday 27 June 2011 0:51

dude it's 3 dates were Yu expecting to have sex with the guy?

chiddy_bang71 0

Monday 27 June 2011 1:41

actually yes

lemonsquid 6

Monday 27 June 2011 0:54

make a move! don't always make him do it! :D

agaba 0

Monday 27 June 2011 0:55

phfff thats WAYY more action then i get

sabrinahusic 0

Monday 27 June 2011 0:56

Anyone else think this guy OP is dating is a virgin? I mean what kinda guy goes out with you 3 times and doesn't make any moves? Hm maybe he's waiting until marriage and if that's the case.....FYL indeed.

maskedman 9

Monday 27 June 2011 1:48

word! women have needs.

sabrinahusic 0

Monday 27 June 2011 1:52

:D exactly.

imcutefml 0

Monday 27 June 2011 2:36

i have needs...

j_cat187 19

Monday 27 June 2011 1:01

thats how i read everything

bnvc 0

Monday 27 June 2011 1:01

after 3 dates? wow. chill. if you had any self respect, you'd wait longer. youre what they call, *****.

Quest_ 13

Monday 27 June 2011 1:06

You're what they call, sexist.

ThorneCrossed 9

Monday 27 June 2011 1:30

I agree op is what I would call a *****. I went with a girl who tried to do naughty things on the second date.

iSurf_fml 8

Monday 27 June 2011 1:04

Was it a hand-five or a boner-five?

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The Top

Today, someone burgled my hotel room. As always, I had locked my passport, extra cash, and other valuables in the closet safe, so I thought the losses would be superficial. What a discovery that the safe hadn't been fastened to the closet shelf, so the thief just picked it up and took it home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 115

You deserved it 3 104

Today, I went to visit my fiancé's dying grandmother in the hospital with him. She started talking to us about living each day to the fullest. His grandmother points to me and says, "Life is short. That's why you don't waste any time screwing girls who look like that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 780

You deserved it 4 168

The Top

Today, my co-worker handed me a note. The note said, "If you can, please take a shower once in a while." The smell was coming from the broken bathroom next to my office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 818

You deserved it 2 671

Today, in an attempt to be romantic, my boyfriend threw little stones against my window. Unfortunately, the window wasn't closed, and I was standing in front of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 356

You deserved it 3 529

Today, someone told me that my initials really fit my personality. I took it as a strange compliment, until I realized my initials spell "EW". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 851

You deserved it 4 633

Today, I followed my neighbor's advice and sprayed Sprite on my Christmas tree because it will "make it live longer." I just came downstairs to find my Christmas tree covered in ants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 061

You deserved it 43 063

Today, I woke up with a sore clitoris. I haven't had sex with my boyfriend for weeks, but I did masturbate yesterday. I guess I can't get horny without feeling pain afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 207

Today, I finally got to sit down for dinner after a long day. In a truck stop restaurant, which specializes in "We don’t have that" or "Serve yourself, despite this being a sit down restaurant." The good news is that they charge more than fast food for less service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 96