Sex, Frustration and Intimacy: Gagging for it - FML

Gagging for it

By Anonymous - 26/06/2011 21:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went on a third date with a guy, hoping I'd finally get some action. I got a high five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 081

You deserved it 10 626

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Sl3vin - 19/01/2010 14:17 - United States

Today, I went on a third date with a guy, hoping that maybe finally I would get some physical interaction. I did. I got a high five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 430

You deserved it 6 848

By BadGuyLuck - 25/02/2012 06:33 - United States

Today, I got asked out for the second time in my life. Since my first date didn't go so well I thought I might have better luck with a different guy. I had to end the date when he confessed it was his destiny to kill his father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 975

You deserved it 2 799

By bootycall:( - 15/02/2017 13:00 - United States - Oxnard

Today, I went on what I thought was my fifth date with a guy. We finally got intimate and it was amazing. As soon as it was over, he said : "Sorry babe, I should get going. I have a date tomorrow and I'd hate to be tired for it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 944

You deserved it 1 270

By Ummm - 03/08/2016 19:45 - United States - Wheaton

Spicy

Today, I was on a second date with a guy. Things got a little handsy and he pulled down his pants to reveal a micro-penis. He then smiled and asked me to be his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 170

You deserved it 2 901

By Unlucky - 25/07/2012 13:03 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 871

You deserved it 3 618

By stupiddddddd - 08/07/2009 07:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I got further with a guy than I've ever before. By that, I mean I got his phone number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 642

You deserved it 9 047

Hanging

By James - 31/07/2011 04:20 - United States

Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 394

You deserved it 18 019

Hard no

By unemployable - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had an important job interview. The interviewer really seemed to like me. Instead of hiring me, he asked me out on a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 292

You deserved it 3 587

By Anonymous - 26/01/2013 17:20 - Ireland - Dublin

Spicy

Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 370

You deserved it 47 335

Let down

By heartbreakkid21 - 14/05/2009 15:22 - United States

Today, I was on a date with this girl I actually like. The date was going really well and it seemed like it would be a good night. While in the movie theater, I went to hold her hand and instead she gave me a hand shake and said, "You're so funny, I'm so glad we're friends". FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 191

You deserved it 5 619

Next

Top comments

flockz 19

Monday 27 June 2011 0:50

a high five where her hand was the ****** and his hand was his dick.

fthku 13

Monday 27 June 2011 1:50

$50 per session is my type of girl.

Comments

Acaprice14 9

Monday 27 June 2011 0:44

This is coming from a guy from Wishanigga Woods, Quitchurbitchin. Stop bitching and wait for sex. If a guy were to post this, many would comment nasty insulting things. Double standards. -_- WOMEN! We love you, but you piss us off.

Meisiekiend 0

Monday 27 June 2011 0:45

Maybe you should realize that this guy is not a jerk like allot of guys and just wants to get in your pants, maybe you need to see that you are being ridiculous and that he could be good for you, and not screw you around? I HATE woman who complain about good guys! Get a grip. if your that horny use a damn vibrator and stop wanting to be a ho'.

sabrinahusic 0

Monday 27 June 2011 0:54

Hmmm I don't think OP is being a hoe. A girl has needs too. :D Looks like this guy might be a virgin lol GO GET HIM!

RyanMacVey 17

Monday 27 June 2011 0:46

its no his hands im dreaming about... ive got other stuff on my mind... have you seen his massive... pen collection OH YEAH !!

poopdayz 6

Monday 27 June 2011 0:47

Just lead him on better =P

saIty 17

Monday 27 June 2011 0:47

Woah, moving a little quick. I didn't get a high five until the 5th date.

Ballzdeepinya 0

Monday 27 June 2011 0:48

Maybe it was his time of the month

tpiper2852 0

Monday 27 June 2011 0:48

he likes taking things slow. there is absolutely nothing wrong in a guy who does that these days.

rhysfucker 24

Monday 27 June 2011 0:53

yeah, there are still slow moving nice guys, but the high-five is not appropriate for a chick that you dig...more for a chick that u dig hanging out with. I moved slow when dating my wife, but first date 'goodnight' was a full contact body hug, not a handshake.

tpiper2852 0

Monday 27 June 2011 0:48

he likes taking things slow. there is absolutely nothing wrong in a guy who does that these days.

rhysfucker 24

Monday 27 June 2011 0:48

wow. say hello to the 'friend zone!'. high fives are for bro's, which apparently you are to mr. special. if things don't get going by the next date, u should move on... good luck, Chiquita.

Metalhead164 1

Monday 27 June 2011 0:51

Well if it makes you feel any better, I bet his hand gets a lot of action..

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Holidays Lonely Relatable Capitalism Work Bosses You're fired Cars Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, I pulled my Christmas tree out of my mother-in-law's garage, only to find out rats had ruined all the lights. The tree cost $2600. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 522

Today, I learned the meaning behind the phrase, "Love you long time". It's from the movie Full Metal Jacket, when a hooker comes in and says, "Me so horny, me love you long time." I've been saying this to my parents and people at school, having no idea what it really means for over 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 784

You deserved it 22 715

The Top

Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 339

You deserved it 5 481

Today, my girlfriend and I went to the drive-in theater, planning to have some fun during the movie. We were pretty excited that no cars were parked near us. As soon as the movie started, a bus full of little kids pulled up next to us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 780

You deserved it 8 010

Today, my husband quit his stable job of 12 years at the bank to pursue a career selling kites. If we don't end up homeless because of this, god knows we will when he has a real mid-life crisis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 531

You deserved it 3 682

Today, my boss told me I can't use the computer for entertainment. This coming from the same person who spends hours at a time every day on Facebook and other similar websites. I'm also not allowed to sit down while using the computer, which I use about half of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 953

You deserved it 241

Today, a guy propositioned me for a threesome with his girlfriend. I don't know what's worse, the fact that he's knows I'm gay and have a boyfriend, or the fact that his girlfriend is my sister. He seemed confused as to why I turned him down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 566

You deserved it 142

Today, on Facebook, I joined a group called "I want our relationship to last." My boyfriend commented "I don't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 689

You deserved it 6 786