Intimacy: Gamers, man…

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Gamers, man…

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 02:09 - United States

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, he started playing with my nipples. Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at my nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!" He then started singing the Super Mario Brothers theme song and playing the game with my nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 857

You deserved it 5 884

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Same thing different taste

By goldie09 - 18/02/2010 17:36 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 806

You deserved it 5 234

By sore - 04/01/2010 11:30 - France

Today, I woke up with bruised nipples because apparently my boyfriend likes to excessively play with them while I sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 796

You deserved it 3 884

By omgboobs - 23/12/2009 02:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that when my nipples are hard, he thinks that they look like giant zits, and when he squeezes them, he imagines them popping pus. He then reached for my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 962

You deserved it 2 779

By Snufflopagus - 01/01/2014 13:26 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my boyfriend told me that sometimes my nipples taste like onions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 551

You deserved it 10 621

War drums

By Taylor - 30/07/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend started singing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 244

You deserved it 10 686

Soon

By Kilania - 10/09/2019 04:00

Today, my boyfriend was talking about video games. Bored of the subject, I started kissing his neck and chest in hopes of him to stop talking and getting some action. He did stop, only for him to say about a minute later, "You're lucky my games can't do this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 007

You deserved it 843

Sexy talk

By cheekymonkey97 - 24/10/2016 16:48

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend whilst straddled on top of him. He started to undo my bra. I was fine with this but he stopped kissing me and looked at me with a slight smile. He then said, "I know this is going to kill the mood... but I feel like I could milk your boobs right now" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 571

You deserved it 1 525

By milked - 27/02/2015 05:28 - United States

Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 435

You deserved it 6 871

By nemo518 - 23/12/2010 06:36 - Canada

Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 159

You deserved it 9 456

By Wawawiwa - 21/07/2010 23:44 - Namibia

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 837

You deserved it 53 774

AkManiak 0

Monday 15 March 2010 9:35

ha, now that's a true gamer

persianality 0

Monday 15 March 2010 9:23

well I guess he knew u weren't worth it so he started playing Mario to find his princess

Comments

prettybrwneyes16 0

Monday 15 March 2010 9:39

dayumm lol. kinda reminds me of my ex

TheTrollinator 0

Monday 15 March 2010 9:39

Sorry the princess is in another castle

Sunset_Taco 0

Monday 15 March 2010 12:48

rofl epic win comment

Eddie_Paints 0

Monday 15 March 2010 9:40

Did he eat your mushroom so he could grow bigger?

Maht_fml 0

Monday 15 March 2010 9:40

this is a win, lol

TOASTMASTAR 0

Monday 15 March 2010 9:42

Just twist off his balls.

SlackR 0

Monday 15 March 2010 9:42

I would totally do that.

Nena713 0

Monday 15 March 2010 9:43

Lol! Was it that cold?

sugarbabyxoxo 2

Monday 15 March 2010 9:46

LOL! national geographic nipples (as quoted on 40 year old virgin) bahaha how long are they! that's ****** funny. and sick kinda lol.

Eddie_Paints 0

Monday 15 March 2010 11:43

Sugarbaby, you changed your sweet pic, I barely recognized you!

ScoobyDoo92 0

Monday 15 March 2010 9:48

what's with the bitchy girlfriends on this?! stop trying to act all mature and take the joke!! it's rather good. :-)

RustyGuns 0

Monday 15 March 2010 9:48

He's Awesome! Shouldn't this be on MLIA?

Nakedsquirrel 5

Monday 15 March 2010 9:48

What's his name got to do with it?

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The Top

Today, we were so desperate to be parents, we've had IVF twice until our son was born. I was not ready for just how much I would hate him. I physically detest my son. I didn’t want to hold him when he was born, he makes my skin crawl when I breastfeed and I barely look at him. Messed up, right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 220

You deserved it 635

Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 677

You deserved it 1 203

The Top

Today, my mother broke into my emails and rejected the best job offer I’ve ever had, all because the job is on the other side of the country, and she’s a selfish bitch who doesn't want to be left completely alone, since she has no friends and our relatives don’t speak to her anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 361

You deserved it 116

Today, someone whistled, so I turned around. The guy behind me then said, "Did you seriously think that it was meant for you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 840

You deserved it 5 061

Today, my younger sister ran into my room, telling me someone was trying to break in. We were home alone, so she went to hide as I took a crowbar and followed the intruder. Just as I was about to swing, he turned around: it was my dad. I had to explain to my sister that burglars don't have keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 741

You deserved it 3 055

Today, I saw my middle school best friend and former girlfriend for the first time in two years. They were making out in our new high school’s library. Two years ago, he said she was a skank, and she said he was a creep, before never speaking to me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 70

Today, I was snowboarding when a skier cut me off, resulting in me colliding with a 12 year-old girl. The girl was totally fine, and I was alright except for a slight nose bleed. I apologized to the girl, then her mom hit me over the back with a ski pole as I snowboarded away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 616

You deserved it 3 786

Today, I was at my friend's house. It was dark and downpouring so I couldn't see as I was backing out of his driveway. I made it out, but then my phone went off, scaring me, and I accidentally hit the gas pedal, hitting his neighbor's parked car. Turns out he called to warn me to watch out for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 268

You deserved it 7 540

Gamers, man…

Same thing different taste

War drums

Soon

Sexy talk

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