Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend told me that when my nipples are hard, he...

By omgboobs - 23/12/2009 02:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that when my nipples are hard, he thinks that they look like giant zits, and when he squeezes them, he imagines them popping pus. He then reached for my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 948

You deserved it 2 773

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Noob to boobs

By Anonymous - 29/04/2009 10:16 - United States

Today, I was feeling up my girlfriend's chest. I was getting into it until she said, "What are you doing?" I said I was rubbing her nipple. She replies, "That's not my nipple, its a pimple." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 225

You deserved it 43 818

By Snufflopagus - 01/01/2014 13:26 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my boyfriend told me that sometimes my nipples taste like onions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 510

You deserved it 10 599

By >{%£•¥ - 27/11/2010 07:08 - United States

Today, right before my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, he touched his butt and says, "Oh I have a butt pimple." He then went and popped it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 070

You deserved it 4 155

By Anonymous - 18/02/2014 19:49 - Virgin Islands, U.S. - Kingshill

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 314

You deserved it 19 281

By KAAALIS - 16/03/2009 02:20 - United States

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738 473

You deserved it 495 635

Great expectations

By Anonymous - 23/10/2020 08:08 - United Kingdom - London

Today, after making love to my boyfriend, I went upstairs to shower. After turning it on, I found a huge pimple on my leg and the prospect of popping it excited me more than my boyfriend ever had in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 140

You deserved it 392

By Anonymous - 24/08/2010 07:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend compared my boobs to a flat tire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 419

You deserved it 7 163

By sore - 04/01/2010 11:30 - France

Today, I woke up with bruised nipples because apparently my boyfriend likes to excessively play with them while I sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 787

You deserved it 3 880

By Anonymous - 17/11/2011 14:06 - United States

Today, I was doing the reverse cowgirl with my boyfriend. I was on the way to a glorious finish when he pointed out that I had a pimple on my butt. He began to laugh so hard that he went soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 704

You deserved it 6 086

By annababyyyy - 10/11/2014 05:01 - United States - Rockville

Today, my boyfriend pretended to be reading braille while touching my chest acne. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 654

You deserved it 7 477

barkerja 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 9:48

Wtf...

musicislife1995_fml 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 9:05

whatever floats his boat... even if it is puss filled mountains of yuckiness.

Comments

blakehilli8 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 9:03

first

musicislife1995_fml 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 9:05

whatever floats his boat... even if it is puss filled mountains of yuckiness.

Temi25 6

Tuesday 19 July 2011 4:59

popatia 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 9:11

Nasty.

cr4ckb0n3f4n 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 9:22

I think you found him in a hospital, wondering around and asking people to help him get his shirt off.

barkerja 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 9:48

Wtf...

gbreck 0

Thursday 1 September 2011 23:02

agreed

jamie_leeann23 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 9:50

Ewww, WTF is wrong with his brain!!! I hope he was joking, because if he was serious you need to consider finding a new boyfriend. FYL

African_diva 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 12:36

ewwww that's disgustiing he's siick!!

me5 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 13:32

Utterly sick!!!

bombtastic 10

Wednesday 23 December 2009 13:32

what... the... hell. he's creepy :( tell him to do it to his own nipples and see how it feels. (:

Thefog 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 14:14

first!

derkaderk 1

Monday 23 August 2010 6:13

wow not at all but good try

Keywords

Coworkers Work Transportation Cars Dogs Animals Photography Art Videos Miscellaneous Love Awkward Health My ex Scams Sex Money Family AITA Healthy Lifestyle Am I overreacting? Babies Kids Sleep Mental health Parents Cheating Break-ups Nice Guys Facebook

The Top

Today, my daughter got home from her first date, angry at me because I scared her date so much that he left halfway through. I swear I didn’t do anything except shake his hand and remind him her curfew is 10pm. Am I in the wrong here? FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 104

Today, I was at a wedding reception with loud music. A guy told me that his sister couldn't be there because she "went home to be with her boy." I said, "That's too bad, she's missing a great party." He paused and repeated, "She went home to be with her LORD." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 263

You deserved it 4 813

The Top

Today, even after recovering and being able to walk again, my dad keeps peeing in a bucket by his bed. He sees nothing wrong with this, even though it smells. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 518

You deserved it 1 447

Today, I went to the bathroom to take a piss. While washing my hands, I heard someone taking a large dump in one of the stalls. When he was finished, he left the bathroom without washing his hands. Turns out he was the IT guy I called to fix my computer. He sat down on my chair and used my keyboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 399

You deserved it 2 500

Today, after months of celibacy due to being utterly single in this pandemic, I finally got to look a man in the eyes while being deepthroated. Oh. I wasn't gagging on his penis, no no, it was on a Covid test swab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 496

You deserved it 324

Today, I updated my Facebook status to, "Party at my house this Friday. Like my status if you want to come." After about 3 hours I checked back to discover that the only person who'd liked my status was my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 532

You deserved it 10 528

Today, I learned that when you're sleeping 12+ hours and starving all the time, but haven't gained any weight, you might have a sinus infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 626

You deserved it 152

Today, my girlfriend suggested that she needs a "cuddle buddy" because I'm never home to spend with her. I have to work two jobs to pay the bills because she keeps calling in "sick" from her job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 175

Same thing different taste

Noob to boobs

Great expectations

Top comments

Comments