Thief and Miscellaneous: Get a move on!

Get a move on!

By Anonymous - 09/06/2011 02:00 - United States

Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 630

You deserved it 5 147

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Same thing different taste

The definition of irony

By Rastaa_Reyes - 16/05/2019 23:52

Today, I went to Wal-Mart with my mom. She kept telling me to put my keys away so I wouldn't lose them. After a few times, I got annoyed and yelled at her. When we got back to her house, I realized I'd lost my keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 3 013

By anonymous - 10/08/2011 04:31 - United States

Today, I was dragged to the food store with my mom. While we were shopping, the fire alarm went off. My mom pushed the cart at me, nearly knocking me over, and sprinted for the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 327

You deserved it 2 638

By Anonymous - 25/07/2011 00:21 - United States

Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 790

You deserved it 2 734

By SwimSquid - 15/04/2009 18:38 - United States

Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136 594

You deserved it 8 102

By disappointment son - 19/05/2017 12:00

Today, I caught and kicked a shoplifter out of my store. The shoplifter was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 487

You deserved it 248

By Anonymous - 16/08/2012 21:09 - United States

Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 666

You deserved it 47 764

Lost

By Sam - 17/11/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my mom was on the phone while we went grocery shopping. Apparently, her phone call was more important because she just left me stranded in the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 80

By anonynomi - 19/11/2015 17:26 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was accused of shoplifting, after the alarm started beeping as I walked into the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 043

You deserved it 1 605

By me. - 12/11/2012 04:30 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 126

You deserved it 1 727

Running late

By albert - 13/05/2009 12:36 - United Kingdom

Today, we were running late for school so my mum shouted at me to hurry up and get in the car. I put my school bags in the boot of the car and my mum drove off. It wasn't until she got to my school and told me to get out that she realised I wasn't there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 377

You deserved it 4 149

abceasyas123abc 12

Thursday 9 June 2011 8:47

All for one and one for all..?!

cynthiaFTW 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 8:49

is it bad that i laughed REALLY hard at this?

Comments

nohugs4u 8

Thursday 9 June 2011 9:51

FYL for having a mother like that

BigPuss 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 9:57

lol u mad?

incrediblekarma 3

Thursday 9 June 2011 9:51

Did your mom shut all the lights off and pretend to not be home when you pulled up?

cockseverywhere 2

Thursday 9 June 2011 9:54

I would have locked them out if I was the mom. forever.

Jaxon26 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 9:51

Stores pay Chuck Morris to shoplift.

Jaxon26 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 10:09

Norris sorry

hotair10 9

Thursday 9 June 2011 10:16

I'm sorry, but that was pathetically stupid.....

Lidiya8lml 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 15:41

agreed 100% stupidity and old

CallMeHush 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 10:00

Today I stole a mess of Chicken Fried Steak from Walmart sneaking it out in my shorts. I was cooking some up when my kid brought the security guard right to our trailer. FML