Work, Teachers, Phobias and Animals: GET IT AWAY FROM ME! - FML

GET IT AWAY FROM ME!

By mottephobe - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I subbed for a first grade class. They were releasing butterflies. Butterflies scare me shitless. A bunch of 7 year-olds watched as I screamed hysterically when one landed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 733

You deserved it 37 391

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Top comments

allmidnighteyes 10

Wednesday 6 April 2011 12:05

This reminds me of that episode of Pokémon where Caterpie was all up in Misty's everything and she was completely ******* terrified of it.

yourreflection 0

Wednesday 6 April 2011 12:04

shame on you

Comments

Deroni76 5

Wednesday 13 April 2011 9:03

Don't worry, everyone's got some kind of strange fear/phobia. For me when I see clusters of holes anywhere this is driving me nuts and I want to squish them because they make me feel itchy. Which is weird... lol

Travis420 0

Thursday 14 April 2011 4:30

Haha you toolbox.

mrty55 0

Wednesday 20 April 2011 3:02

ya I've never met anyone afraid of butterflies.

teebabyy 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 7:51

butterfly's are SCARY them freaky looking things! I'm 19 girl and wen I see it I turn the other way! idk why I am I just am! I almost hot hit by a car cause I was running from one!

Abbiesaur 0

Saturday 23 April 2011 18:29

Pansy, much?

ChErRySaRe 0

Friday 6 May 2011 5:18

dude that's hilarious

venom8 13

Wednesday 11 May 2011 7:22

To #248: that is probably now my favorite phobia and my new favorite word.

621km 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 7:53

it's a butterfly...they don't sting or bite. it'll be okay

ieatpuppehs 0

Friday 17 June 2011 15:48

fear of the dark, fear of the dark! I have a phobia that someones always near Fear of the dark-iron maiden!

buzzboy1349 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 1:44

why r u scared of fukin butterflies

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching. Little did I know, my girlfriend isn't a big fan of horror films. It was during a sex scene that intensified the moment. The same sex scene from which emerged a sudden jump-scare. I now have bite marks on my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 865

You deserved it 62 131

Today, my roommate's pets conspired against me. "The dog ate my homework" has apparently become too clichéd for them. The new excuses are, "My cat chewed through my laptop power cable" and "The gecko ate my pen drive." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 657

You deserved it 4 899

The Top

Today, I was babysitting my niece when we decided to play hide and seek. I went in the shed, and waited. After waiting a while, I went to go back inside to see what was happening. I saw my niece had locked all the doors and was eating cookies on the kitchen bench. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 990

You deserved it 39 599

Today, I asked this really cute girl for her number. I had nothing else on me so I told her to write it on a dollar bill. Later, without thinking, I put it in a vending machine. I freaked out and frantically pushed the return button. It gave me back quarters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 776

You deserved it 26 683

Today, I came outside to leave for work. To my shock and horror my car was gone. My asshole neighbor, who has parked in my spot multiple times decided to let her noisy guests park in my parking spot, so I parked in hers. She had my car towed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 033

You deserved it 412

Today, I found out when my new roommate said she was self-employed, she really meant unemployed. She insists that I let her stay for free or she will file a sexual assault case against me. Rent is due on the 10th. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 030

You deserved it 157

Today, I thought I was being smooth by using a pickup line on a cute barista. I confidently said, "Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears." She replied, "Actually, I'm a barista, and everyone else is waiting for their coffee. Next!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 1 151

Today, my boyfriend helped me move some things into storage, all while complaining about the amount of stuff I own. He's the one who keeps buying me things I don't need or want, even though I tell him every year I wouldn’t mind getting no gifts at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 179