Weird, Abuse and Love: Get your act together

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Get your act together

By Z…… - 14/11/2012 00:43 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 777

You deserved it 36 025

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Same thing different taste

Can't win

By Anonymous - 06/01/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, if I don't do work around the house, my girlfriend will call me a lazy pig and yell at me. If I do, she will yell because I didn't do it the right way. If I ask her to clarify the right way, she will call me a dumbass, give useless instructions, and work herself up into yelling at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 764

You deserved it 264

Short nap

By Anonymous - 10/09/2024 06:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, my girlfriend told me I could sleep in. Twenty minutes later, she was banging on the door, yelling, "Get up, fat lazy fuck! It's seven o'clock, we have chores! You expect me to do everything for your worthless ass!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 122

By PanFace - 13/10/2009 06:54 - Australia

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 120

You deserved it 121 381

The blame game

By stupid child - 24/03/2023 10:00

Today, I asked my girlfriend to stop her preschooler from playing in the kitchen when I'm cooking dinner. She bitched about how I'm "controlling and micromanaging". As she did so, he put his hands on the hot oven and screamed in pain. She then shrieked that it was my fault he hurt himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 120

You deserved it 625

By Anonymous - 10/12/2012 18:09 - United States - Victorville

Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 146

You deserved it 44 658

By what did I do? - 15/10/2015 19:30 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She slapped me in the face, stormed out and won't answer my calls. What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 359

You deserved it 2 561

By Anonymous - 01/11/2014 18:23 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 872

You deserved it 5 522

Sharing is caring

By T…… - 15/10/2023 00:02

Today, my girlfriend had a bitch fit because I snatched a couple of her fries for myself. She regularly raids my snacks, takes food off my plate, and has even stolen my work lunches, but a couple of fries is too much to ask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 715

You deserved it 145

By Anonymous - 31/03/2011 21:53 - United States

Today, my girlfriend tearfully complained that I was smothering her to death with my clinginess, and that I should learn to respect her boundaries. This is after she complained I wasn't giving her enough attention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 896

You deserved it 5 089

Thanks dad

By Anonymous - 19/09/2013 17:32 - Canada - Brantford

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 889

You deserved it 3 329

Icyghost17 10

Wednesday 14 November 2012 8:46

I suggest you start throwing tantrums, refusing to eat your veggies, and demanding bedtime stories. If you can't beat em, join em!

MasterGamer591 13

Wednesday 14 November 2012 8:44

Talk to her like she is an old lady DO YOU UNDER....STAAAAAAAND miss

Comments

photoquilty 6

Wednesday 14 November 2012 17:34

What kind of an a-hole slaps a child with a wooden spoon? Dump her before you actually have kids.

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Wednesday 14 November 2012 17:46

dump her

cheymann 4

Wednesday 14 November 2012 17:57

Get rid of her!!!!!

Likian5 26

Wednesday 14 November 2012 19:53

You know what you need to do: GET THE HELL OUT.

NSquared 2

Wednesday 14 November 2012 20:07

Sounds like she should have broke up with you. Less work. If she wanted a baby, she should have just adopted.

suoerkewl 15

Wednesday 14 November 2012 20:15

Kinky..?

Hahaha_Haha_Haha 7

Wednesday 14 November 2012 20:38

Kin-ky!

dessicakez 7

Wednesday 14 November 2012 20:45

That sounds like she has a semi kinky fantasy

nmlutgen 11

Wednesday 14 November 2012 20:51

Well I think it really depends on whether he's actually lazy and incompetent and the degree of the situation.

BobbieH 19

Wednesday 14 November 2012 21:27

Man up! If you want to be treated like an adult you need to act like one. That starts with taking care of responsibilities. Get off your ass and stop being incompetent. Do something and take the time and care to do it right. Finish what you start! Honestly, you're girlfriend has an awesome personality and sense of humor.

Negroification 7

Wednesday 14 November 2012 23:24

It's no surprise really. The sexism against men on this site can get pretty atrocious. Unless a male poster makes it ABSOLUTELY clear without any doubt that they aren't in the wrong, they'll get roasted for anything. Usually if the situation was in reverse, the male would still be getting the blame.