Food, Scams and Money: Go to jail, donut pass go

I don't know what's sadder, that the OP believed a stupid and unlikely rumor, or that the majority of people on FML seem to have believed it as well. How much do you think the principal could possibly be spending on donuts?

Joeby1991 0

Wednesday 1 June 2011 19:20

Sue her for tortious fraud.

happy_dino 6

Wednesday 1 June 2011 19:32

I never do those damn fundraisers..

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Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from high school at the exact pizza shop we met at where I worked in high school. She broke it off with me after she caught me cheating with her best friend. These days, she's a lawyer who makes six figures a year. I still work at the same pizza shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 306

You deserved it 125 970

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 482

You deserved it 11 506

The Top

Today, I decided to give blood for the second time. I felt excrutiating pain when she stuck the needle in my arm. Another nurse came running over in a panic. Apparently my inexperienced nurse had put it in my tendon instead of my vein. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 291

You deserved it 2 917

Today, as an amateur magician, I tried a new trick at my nephew’s birthday party. The trick involved pulling a fake rabbit out of a hat. I didn't realize my nephew had put his real pet rabbit in the hat as a prank. The poor rabbit jumped out, scaring the kids, and causing chaos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 123

Today, I went to the doctor for the constant pain I have when eating savory or sour foods. It turns out I have a stone in my saliva gland, and no joke, the only thing I can do to fix it is eat savory or sour food to make me drool enough to force it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 732

You deserved it 433

Today, I was talking to myself and got distracted when I was going to put chapstick on my lips. I took the cap off my deodorant and put it on my lips. FML

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Today, my former boss, a landlord, came through on his "parting gift" to me. I thought he was joking when he said he'd send a deranged tenant of ours cross-country by bus to stay with me for a week. It wasn't a joke. Send help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 117

You deserved it 176

Today, I was working at my job as a cashier, checking out an elderly woman's groceries. She was very nice, and we chatted for a couple minutes. Once she had paid, she leaned close to me and said, very politely, "I'm so so sorry that I mistook you for a girl at first, young man." I AM a girl. FML

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You deserved it 4 930