God laughs

By Anonymous - 17/12/2012 08:17 - United States

Spicy
Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We were going to have sex for the first time as well. Unfortunately, I had a dream last night about him shitting all over me and I can't look at him with a straight face. FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 330
You deserved it 15 408
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Top comments

bluevayero 42

I still wonder what may have triggered such a dream...

322 3
faithlessSheep 5

why make a big fuss, it's just a dream. perhaps u could tell him about ur dream and just joke it away. better luck next time

126 9

Comments

ManInTheMachine 19

Easy fix. Just make him as constipated as humanly possible. Slip him some anti-diarrhetics, and then have the sex of your life! Then slip him a laxative for breakfast the next morning. It's a fool-proof plan!

29 6
gracehi 31

Your boyfriend got **** blocked by your subconscious. That's a new one.

96 2
lelo007 11

Haha I've had dreams about walking in on my boyfriend with another woman and I'll wake up ill about it. I get over it once the fog in my head has cleared, but I wake up highly pissed!

27 0
SunAndMoon427 12

I thought I was the only one who did that! lol and my boyfriend tried to say it was weird to wake up upset from a dream like that. So I'm glad it's not just me.

4 3
lelo007 11

32- no ma'am, you are not alone! My boyfriend laughs at me when it happens. He told me once I looked straight at him, called him a cheating twat, and went right back to sleep. I had no recollection whatsoever haha

16 1
gracehi 31

I think I've got both you guys beat in weird cheating boyfriend dreams. I had a dream that my boyfriend was dating a girl in another city, but I knew about it and was okay with it. Then he was planning on proposing to her and I even helped him set up the his plans to surprise her. Then it dawned on me that my relationship with him would probably be ruined if he married someone else. Then after he proposed to his other girlfriend I met up with him and asked, "So you're engaged now?" "Yep," He replied. I asked "So now what's gonna happen to me?" Then I woke up.

15 1
lelo007 11

Oh yea, Grace, I've had a similar one where I actually set my boyfriend up with another girl. So weird!

6 1
SunAndMoon427 12

Haha, yeah I think I had one once where he was cheating on me with someone and his sister and I both knew but we just ignored it and I woke up very confused. Lol

1 0
DocBastard 38

Perfect in every way possible? Wow, someone sure is looking at the world through rose-coloured glasses. I await your follow-up FML where you find him ******** on, er, I mean cheating on you with your best friend.

58 16
TipOfTheHat 10

Cleveland steamer! Go for it girl! Then neither of you will look at each other!

5 12
teriyakioxo 4

That's not a dream! It's a premonition of his one flaw! Beware my child beware :p

11 2
sougstad 7

Who knew it would be a hot carl! The sequel to this dream would be mr perfect wiping his ass with his hands and smearing it in your face!!

1 5
pradip 26

"Dreams are wishes your heart makes when you're fast asleep." Edit : I'm updated my app did I thread jack you

15 4
ManInTheMachine 19

I didn't know you could thread jack an FML! What is this sorcery?

5 1
Welshite 39

I actually really like that saying, pradip. I guess I've always subconsciously desired a vehicle made of balloons.

4 2
cmars3 7

That saying is from Disneys Cinderella

3 1
toalysium 15

Hopefully he reads FML and decides to run before you hit him with a whole truck full of crazy.

4 9
katties 27

I don't see any reason for that she should be crazy? Most people can't in any way control what they dream about.

5 1