Sex, Poopoo peepee and Intimacy: God laughs

God laughs

By Anonymous - 17/12/2012 08:17 - United States

Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We were going to have sex for the first time as well. Unfortunately, I had a dream last night about him shitting all over me and I can't look at him with a straight face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 330

You deserved it 15 408

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/02/2013 19:19 - Botswana - Francistown

Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 981

You deserved it 6 009

By Dead_Fox - 21/11/2012 05:48 - United States - Jonesboro

Today, I had a sex dream, which I interrupted by having an OCD-induced panic attack because apparently we weren't using protection. My brain won't even let me enjoy the fantasy action I get in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 876

You deserved it 3 889

By Anonymous - 07/06/2012 17:41 - United States - Oregon City

Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 191

You deserved it 6 723

By Anonymous - 18/04/2011 03:12 - United States

Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 616

You deserved it 8 230

Loverman

By dating a manchild - 01/06/2012 23:50 - Denmark - Hellerup

Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 890

You deserved it 7 386

By Anonymous - 08/01/2011 20:15 - Netherlands

Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 820

You deserved it 4 157

By Anonymous - 15/02/2010 13:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to have sex with with my boyfriend. After we had finished I jokingly said, "who's going to sleep in the wet patch?". He got up and said "you're optimistic, I'm not staying. Oh, and I'm dumping you, that performance was disappointing". It was my first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 446

You deserved it 4 514

By damnit - 16/10/2009 17:27 - United States

Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 713

You deserved it 4 272

By Anonymous - 07/08/2012 14:49 - United States

Today, I discovered that I sometimes talk in my sleep. After spending an amazing, perfectly romantic night with my boyfriend, I woke up to him telling me to leave. I have no idea what I could have said. He still won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 672

You deserved it 3 066

By urgg - 05/09/2010 14:20 - United States

Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 915

You deserved it 5 025

bluevayero 42

Monday 17 December 2012 16:06

I still wonder what may have triggered such a dream...

faithlessSheep 5

Monday 17 December 2012 16:07

why make a big fuss, it's just a dream. perhaps u could tell him about ur dream and just joke it away. better luck next time

Comments

DeathTheKid3 5

Monday 17 December 2012 16:51

wow that is crazy. op sucks for your bf not you

CallmeRyuzaki 0

Monday 17 December 2012 16:53

Skatofilia........sexy!!!!

blu3r0s3th0rn4 7

Monday 17 December 2012 16:57

I hope it was a nightmare

Shadowvoid 33

Monday 17 December 2012 17:30

Your profile picture is a nightmare, her dream was just crazy and absurd...

billyz77 24

Monday 17 December 2012 17:15

Today, I was perfect in every way possible. I went over to this chic's house to bone her for the first time but as soon as I arrived, she threw me on the floor, lifted her skirt, dropped her panties and took a shit on me! I am now only perfect in every way but one. FML.

Shadowvoid 33

Monday 17 December 2012 17:28

You might want to go to a therapist...

simoncat 11

Monday 17 December 2012 17:30

Ah crap. Shitty timing. Ok, so save the strap-on play for a later date.

Jf770 10

Monday 17 December 2012 17:38

Well... I guess if you're into that..

doodlecloud 26

Monday 17 December 2012 17:56

I voted FYL because, whilst the dream and how much it really matters are questionable, the situation does suck for OP. Then I voted YDI because the 'perfect in every way possible' bit made me cringe, seemed completely unnecessary and seemed an odd thing to say considering they haven't had sex yet (not saying it's not a proper relationship till you have sex, just that it's a milestone that they haven't reached yet so how does she know that they'll be perfect at that too?).