Work: Gross out competition

Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 407

You deserved it 4 053

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Same thing different taste

Symphony

By Anonymous - 06/05/2009 19:17 - United States

Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 481

You deserved it 5 201

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 06:03 - United States - Demorest

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 037

You deserved it 3 908

Put the booze down

By Anonymous - 13/08/2020 14:01

Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 2 068

Leaked

By Morgan Bailey - 18/09/2018 14:00

Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 733

You deserved it 880

Hiking is so much fun!

By Sacho - 24/10/2019 20:00

Today, 4 miles into a mountain hike with my crush, I suddenly felt a stomach pain, followed by the urge for explosive diarrhea. I had to stand still with my butt clenched to prevent shitting myself. There were no nearby bathrooms, and I didn't have any toilet paper. It was messy. She'll never see me the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 792

You deserved it 169

By Anonymous - 12/02/2013 18:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 305

You deserved it 3 318

Like a dog

By Jick - 26/02/2023 14:00

Today, I was outside when I was suddenly overcome by an intense need to shit. The back door was locked, so I tried to run to the front, but couldn't make it. As I squatted in the bushes, my girlfriend came home unexpectedly. She screamed and called me a sick, disgusting freak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 766

You deserved it 288

By EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - 17/08/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 288

You deserved it 7 524

By kdeeeceee - 09/11/2011 05:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I had dinner at my boss's house. Just before we were ready to eat, my girlfriend came to me with a desperate look in her eyes. Apparently, she took a dump, clogged the toilet, and it flooded. I took the hit for her, and now my boss thinks I'm a jackass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 517

You deserved it 4 574

By GuillermoCJ - 22/01/2011 05:36 - Mexico

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house and had to go to the bathroom. While peeing, I had a cough attack. The cough shook my body, making me pee all over my pants. My girlfriend's parents just arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 115

You deserved it 4 703

007type 26

Tuesday 1 January 2013 1:28

Shit just got real.

rlr386 8

Tuesday 1 January 2013 1:31

Even though that sucks for you both, props to you for being a gentleman and letting her go first.

Comments

DaDivineDevil 11

Wednesday 2 January 2013 9:30

Oh shit.

Born2die 11

Wednesday 2 January 2013 21:12

Better than in the middle of sex. Particularly anal

Olivia_73 4

Wednesday 2 January 2013 23:11

What did you eat? Lol

jmcr 27

Thursday 3 January 2013 5:21

You better have earned some points with your gf for being such a gentleman and sacrificing your pants like that

InfiniteSlushy 3

Thursday 3 January 2013 8:57

If you can manage to look eachother in the eye now, you can rest assured that nothing more embarrassing can ever happen to you. Ever.

ToxicFuel 6

Thursday 3 January 2013 16:48

YLS but you're a true gentleman. I'm sure she would be thankful forever for not letting her be the one to explode on herself :D

kelseyk1997 4

Thursday 3 January 2013 23:09

Couples that shit together, stay together

cshynovick 1

Friday 4 January 2013 3:58

Damn Indian Food!!!

Fylminesawsome 5

Saturday 5 January 2013 16:23

Thats why I don't eat Mexican

pumpedupkix 7

Saturday 5 January 2013 19:54

It sounds like you both had a "shitty" New Year's Eve.

Keywords

Dogs Animals Cute Roommate Food Work Parents Miscellaneous Health Painful Kids Ironic Management Embarrassing Transportation Awkward First Dates Love Poopoo peepee Family Sexting Cheating Intimacy Relatable Confused Students Break-ups Lonely Relationship advice My ex

The Top

Today, while I was taking a test in class, there was a question that had everyone stumped. After what seemed like forever, the teacher finally noticed and said he'd typed the question wrong. I spent more than half the time I had to complete the test on a question that wasn't even written correctly. Yes, I failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 431

Today, after going to the doctor, thinking I was going to be diagnosed with hyperthyroidism, it turns out my thyroid is "perfectly normal." Apparently the strange feeling in my neck that oddly mimicked the disease is "an autism thing", even though I've never noticed it happen until now. I am so confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 86

The Top

Today, I put my old kitchen table at the end of my driveway with a free sign on it. Later, I saw my neighbor drag it to his yard with a $50 for sale sign on it. It's now gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 884

You deserved it 36 594

Today, I got in the car with my brother, who drives all the time with his eyes glued to his phone. We stopped at a red light, it turned green. I noticed that he was still looking down and told him the car ahead was moving. I then got screamed at, saying how I'm always right, how my friends suck, and how he wished I was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 113

Today, while at the waterpark, some guy came up to me and profusely thanked me for wearing a one-piece swimsuit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 147

You deserved it 8 096

Today, I was with a wedding party getting manicures. I absentmindedly used a freshly-painted nail to pick my nose and ended up with two beauticians scraping indestructible bright red gel varnish out of my left nostril with acetone soaked q-tips, while everyone sat waiting in complete silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 779

You deserved it 8 256

Today, I was training for my new job at a restaurant. As part of training, they give you free food so you know what to recommend, and the dish I got was really good. Eight hours later I saw it again while I was puking. I got food poisoning from my own workplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 004

You deserved it 3 420

Today, I was basically treated to, "Hey, you're laid off by the end of the month. Oh, and would you mind training your replacement? We have budget cuts, and he works for less." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 684

You deserved it 107