Sex, Weird and Intimacy: Groucho

Groucho

By beardedlady - 02/07/2011 06:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said it "turns him on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 123

You deserved it 5 251

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Same thing different taste

By Prinpette - 20/09/2011 21:20 - France

Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 355

You deserved it 40 479

By mustachio101 - 17/07/2012 23:30 - United States - Montgomery

Today, my boyfriend thought it appropriate to let me know that doing the "duck face" in my Facebook pictures "highlights my mustache." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 639

You deserved it 57 621

Ticklish

By Username - 28/07/2010 11:20 - France

Today, I was rubbing my lips against my boyfriend's lips when I said, "Your mustache tickles" in a sexy tone. His response was, "So does yours." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 478

You deserved it 32 642

Woof woof

By kjdhfakjs - 20/05/2010 18:32 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 445

You deserved it 6 707

By unbelievable - 02/02/2009 11:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he'd help me shave my mustache. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 909

You deserved it 6 699

By dahs - 03/04/2011 11:27 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 608

You deserved it 15 235

By Username - 21/04/2011 13:55

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he was growing a mustache, as he had whiskers. He looked at me and said "No, but apparently you are." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 511

You deserved it 10 185

Bad actor

By Anonymous - 20/04/2021 23:00

Today, I tried faking an orgasm for the first time, because I thought it would be sexy for my boyfriend. He stopped to ask me if I was okay. I guess I'm not good at faking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 1 398

By Picaresque - 26/02/2009 17:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285 950

You deserved it 68 199

Yummy

By lovely - 26/02/2014 18:53 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 129

You deserved it 10 621

TylerX 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 19:26

Did I just get an erection?

iAmScrubs 19

Saturday 2 July 2011 19:26

He enjoys the feeling of that peach fuzz caressing his epidermis.

Comments

kduubb 7

Saturday 2 July 2011 19:36

umm i think yu need to find a new boyfriend...

xxsarahfxx 6

Saturday 2 July 2011 21:18

I'm tired of people saying, "OMG! You need a new boyfriend!" when it's just a little thing you can easily get over.

t765234 10

Sunday 3 July 2011 1:25

I wasn't aware that homosexuality was a little thing that you could just get over.

joshuaUNWRITTEN 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 19:37

Was it a Hitler mustache?

lmaoatall 6

Saturday 2 July 2011 19:51

check me out 27.

goodfella925 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 0:35

ah! hitler kitty!xD

yepyepyepyep 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 19:41

no wait if it is a fu-man-shu im gonna flip!

rainin_menn 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 19:54

GAAAAA-AAAAY!!!

mrtoby 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 19:56

instead of talking to girls he stayed at hone and played Mario. And somehow he still picked you up. YDI lol.

tommyc17 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 19:59

sounds like he goes both ways !!!!

mcintosh123 15

Saturday 2 July 2011 20:02

"Look at me I'm Mario"

jane_marie 12

Saturday 2 July 2011 20:07

hair-fetish haha

Ericahhh 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 20:08

GAY.

Asoman 3

Saturday 2 July 2011 20:10

not so weird, collar bones get my girl on. idk either

kitkat98_fml 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 20:56

wtf?!

Keywords

Health Love Sex Intimacy Parents Cute Kids Relatable Hair Embarrassing Healthy Lifestyle Money Scams Annoying Work Awkward Skincare Insects Animals Cats Neighbours Dating First Dates Students Alcohol Miscellaneous Fight Shopping AITA Parenting

The Top

Today, while my mom was out, my family agreed upon the assumption that she has a "shopping problem." I argued against it for quite a while, until she pulled up minutes later with a what seemed like a life-time supply of canned condensed milk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 575

You deserved it 4 943

Today, my male model boyfriend admitted to me that he has developed an eating disorder because of his career. He also told me we couldn't have sex anymore, because he might somehow absorb the food I eat, from my body, through intercourse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 730

You deserved it 297

The Top

Today, I had to listen to my best friend explain how to properly unstick one's balls from one's leg. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 438

You deserved it 246

Today, at the funeral home where I work, I asked my boss if it was time to "bring out the stiff". I didn't realize the guy's family was not only in the building, but within earshot as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 843

You deserved it 20 415

Today, while watching Game of Thrones, my boyfriend remarked that he doesn't think that "sibling incest is a big deal" and doesn't "get why it's illegal." He has 2 sisters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 014

You deserved it 601

Today, I realized I wasn't getting notifications for my voicemail, so I decided to check it and found out that I had 3 job offerings that are no longer an option. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 053

You deserved it 3 760

Today, I was staying over at a friend's house for the weekend. Some girl he knows invited us over to watch a movie. She spent the whole time ignoring the movie and clinging to him, trying to get him to stay, and completely ignoring the fact that I was there and that he was basically my ride. I felt like walking home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 130

Today, I was helping a women that was looking for skin care products. She kept commenting on the look and "texture" of my skin in a very creepy and almost hungry fashion. I'm afraid that she wants to skin me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 589

You deserved it 490