Happy America Day Mofos!

By Your ass... Grab it... - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, I was out on a leisurely jog. Out of nowhere, a car slowed down in the street, and a passenger screamed "HAPPY 4TH OF JULY, MOTHERFUCKER," before tossing a lit Roman Candle at my feet. FML
I agree, your life sucks 51 525
You deserved it 4 446

Top comments

He had the curtesy to just throw it on the ground and not hold it at face level? That's the spirit of the holiday right there

Comments

assassinbanana0 20

He just wanted to share all the freedom he has MURICA

People can be strange, I had a firework thrown at me once, don't let it bother you!

Sinistra_Blue 12

He Red, White, and Blew up OP

He had the curtesy to just throw it on the ground and not hold it at face level? That's the spirit of the holiday right there

Yea ikr?! Why would you throw a Roman candle?! They're the best when you hold them and pretend they're magic wands when they shoot!!

79, as long as you didn't have a "wand fight( Roman candles trying to hit each other) one of my buddies almost burnt the hell out of his back due to me getting him and it stuck and slowly burnt through 2 jackets :/ I would've picked up the firework before it went off and chased them with it :p

Would make much more sense if OP was English

dyehardxen 19

OP is from the United States...

graceinsheepwear 33

The Fourth of July is an American holiday, not an English one.

Llamassss 21

He means it would make more sense because it would be like attacking the British for independence.

graceinsheepwear 33

Well, that commenter lists their location as Sweden, so it's hard to be sure which they meant.

It says OP is from the United States...?

You just made this utterly confusing.

You have to admit America has had her moments, but she's also had her 'what the **** are you thinking' moments as well. No country's perfect...

42- Remember, 'Mercia produced the "duck face". Borders on unforgivable.

"So lick my butt, and SUCK ON MY BALLS!" Was the correct response. Better luck next year folks.

What about canada, they gave us Justin. Talk about unforgivable. :)

friedpwnadge 25

If you had time, you should have thrown it back in the car or called the cops for assault with a deadly weapon.

It's a Roman candle, you pick it up by the end that isn't shooting and point it at the car, if anything. Or just, don't sink to their level, that works too. But if you're going to, do it right. >.>

Should've picked it up, held it towards the sky like the master sword and yelled, "Freedoooom!". They're just spreading holiday spirit. It's not a ******* bomb, OP. Roman candles are like adult sparklers. Take a day off and embrace your overweight culture.

Steel_BZ 8

It's illegal for a reason..

Should've picked it up and aimed it at their car.

Ok 7 and 8 say the same thing, just worded differently. One is thumbed down, one thumbed up. Make up your mind FML! You're not supposed to pick up a lit Roman candle anyways, just stay away from it.

I think #7 got the thumb down for the whole assault with a deadly weapon bs.

You have been deprived if you don't know by now that Roman candles are meant to be held.

Well, I can say I've never once held a Roman candle or any type of firework, because it's illegal in NY without a permit, and my family isn't really into them. I don't feel the least bit deprived about it though.

Move to Texas and have fun with Roman Candles and sparkles each fourth of July and New Year's. You won't regret it.

Except in Deep South Texas (as in the Rio Grande Valley). There's been hardly any rain for who knows how long, and so burn bans are in effect, making non-city sanctioned fireworks (i.e. professional ones for show) illegal. It's enforced by a $500 dollar fine.

we've been real lucky in Arkansas to have had rain lately so we can actually shoot some fireworks off. however the cops don't really like it when we shoot them off in city limits (party poppers). and holding a Roman candle is a a great rush the first time you do it.

#72 And it's illegal within the city limits of Dallas

What do you do if you're not holding it? Shove it in the ground? It's not a bottle rocket just hold it and aim it away from any people or buildings.

Burn your evil neighbors grass and pay $500 fine? Worth it.

Maybe they thought you weren't moving fast enough, and needed some patriotism to boost your morale.

cottoncandymango 17