Holidays and Health: Happy America Day Mofos! - FML

Happy America Day Mofos!

By Your ass... Grab it... - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, I was out on a leisurely jog. Out of nowhere, a car slowed down in the street, and a passenger screamed "HAPPY 4TH OF JULY, MOTHERFUCKER," before tossing a lit Roman Candle at my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 525

You deserved it 4 447

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Top comments

dweeds508 24

Friday 5 July 2013 2:35

I guess he's just really patriotic

ironichalibut 24

Friday 5 July 2013 2:35

He had the curtesy to just throw it on the ground and not hold it at face level? That's the spirit of the holiday right there

Comments

srogue74 5

Friday 5 July 2013 5:23

OH NO! A ROMAN CANDLE! that must've been DANGEROUS! -_- really dude? GFY and YDI

TheGrimGenius 7

Friday 5 July 2013 5:43

Dude, my friends were lighting off fireworks and one of them knocked over a roman candle while another friend lit it, before he could get away he got severe burns over his legs and partially his back. Also, what makes OP deserve it?

rawr_ily96 24

Friday 5 July 2013 7:34

Someone doesn't like our independence.

rawr_ily96 24

Friday 5 July 2013 7:38

And by that I mean someone doesn't like our right to feel endangered by idiots! Can someone shoot a Roman Candle at this guy and see how he feels about his comment after?

SilencioIsTheKey 12

Friday 5 July 2013 5:44

You should of started singing... " AND THE LAND OF THE FREEEEEEE...AND THE ROME, ENNNNN.. CANDLE! " Big finish. That would of been cool. Happy 4th Of July.

onorexveritas 23

Friday 5 July 2013 6:02

they were probably shit faced

RedWingSD 6

Friday 5 July 2013 6:16

You should have picked it up and shot it at him!!!!!

nokaywhatever 5

Friday 5 July 2013 6:18

that's not what america is about. that kindof upsets me.

colvindj 22

Friday 5 July 2013 6:31

yeah! Merica!

pacmanman 15

Friday 5 July 2013 6:36

He threw it at your feet. maybe he's really patriotic and was just giving you something to celebrate with! XD

caligirllife 11

Friday 5 July 2013 6:37

Same thing has happened to me. Only it wasn't even on the 4th of july

rawr_ily96 24

Friday 5 July 2013 7:40

America: Land of the corrupt politicians, and home of the idiots. No disrespect to our country, but that's just how I see things here.

livforever 13

Friday 5 July 2013 6:50

I hope you didn't get burnt!

XxcaitanatorXx 12

Friday 5 July 2013 6:54

well thats just rude

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 095

You deserved it 13 428

Today, I have an HR meeting to discuss my team's performance. This is the same HR that refuses to hire more people because my department is full. The same HR that complains when tasks are completed late due to the team being overworked, yet refuses to take any suggestions. How do you give feedback to people like this? FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 85

The Top

Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 256

You deserved it 12 441

Today, cops showed up at my house looking for an ex neighbor. It would be all cool if before knocking they didn't politely wait in front of my window listening me and my boyfriend having sex for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 222

You deserved it 3 388

Today, I was in an elevator with my brother and a woman. He signs to me that she has a 'damn fine ass'. I chuckle and then shake my head. He shrugs. A second later the woman signs to us, 'Rick, don't you remember me?' Turns out she helped teach my brother sign language when he was six. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 013

You deserved it 25 888

Today, I had the most uncomfortable feeling in my socks, but I didn't care to check. It wasn't until I got home that I realized that the feeling was a small thin piece of glass that was slowly cutting away at the bottom of my foot. I still don't know how it got there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 301

You deserved it 4 556

Today, my now apparently ex-fiance let me know our engagement was off by throwing my ring in the trash. No words, just throwing it away. I always slept without it, to avoid damaging it. Guess I'm single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 122

Today, instead of getting ready for Mother’s Day weekend, I’m recovering from emergency surgery. Last year my kid gave me COVID for Mother’s Day. The year before, my whole family forgot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 113