Miscellaneous: HB!

FML for mobile
Free

HB!

By Kensie - 04/03/2009 21:48 - United States

Today, it is mine and my twin sister's birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me also pretty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 802

You deserved it 5 987

Summer vacations: Sun and blunders
From beaches to campsites, embark on a journey filled with laughter under the sun... and a few sunburns! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/05/2009 18:37 - United States

Today, I bought my mom a gift certificate for a spa treatment for two so we could spend some quality time together. She took my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 472

You deserved it 3 759

By Anonymous - 11/12/2013 08:25 - United States

Today, is my little sister's 16th birthday. I spent my last $20 on a gift for her, cleaned the house for her party, made an ice cream cake, and got her a rose. What did I get? "I hope you kept the receipt for this. Oh, and stay in your room during my party." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 531

You deserved it 3 848

By lachaisse - 12/05/2013 12:09 - United States - Vinton

Today, my sisters and I pitched together nearly $500 to send my mom to the spa for Mother's Day. We put the printed sheet with her info into a little box with our card on top. When she opened it, she freaked out and started hugging my dad. Turns out he switched the cards and took all the credit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 205

You deserved it 4 124

Happy intoxication day

By rubber_duckie177 - 24/09/2009 11:25 - United States

Today, my sisters and I were throwing my mom a birthday party. Since I'm not good at baking, I ordered her a really nice and expensive cake. As my daughter and I were headed out the door, she told me she had added some sprinkles to make it pretty. It was the silica beads from a package. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 172

You deserved it 4 038

How can I make this about me?

By Anonymous - 04/02/2022 18:01

Today, it's my birthday. My wife took me to my favorite restaurant for dinner. She made me pay for my birthday dinner, along with hers. She also got me a gift card to HER favorite store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 149

You deserved it 167

Classic Mom

By secret - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Ashford

Today, I got a text from my mom shaming me for forgetting my sister's birthday. It isn't her birthday today, it's mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 467

You deserved it 2 306

By bannana0zoom - 03/03/2012 08:06 - Canada

Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a bunch of clothes that are a few sizes too small. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 025

You deserved it 7 981

Priorities

By Anonymous - 09/07/2021 13:01 - United States - Floral Park

Today, my mother flipped out that I spent $20 on a gift for myself for my birthday. Instead of getting a gift for me, she spent $300 on a new vacuum cleaner, and claims that we didn't have enough left in our budget to spend on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 130

By Anonymous - 15/05/2009 22:38 - United States

Today, for my birthday, someone left a big bottle of mouth wash on my desk with a big bow on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 356

You deserved it 18 088

By BirthdayTeeth - 16/06/2009 11:14 - United Arab Emirates

Today, it was my 18th birthday. I got one thing: a fancy electric toothbrush from my little sister. I would say I'm happy to have something rather than nothing, except, for as long as the toothbrush works, there will be a Hannah Montana concert going on in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 007

You deserved it 4 250

rosiegrewup 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 0:27

What a douchey thing to do! If they couldn't afford it for both, they shouldn't have given it to one. I'm sorry, man.

socializer1 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 0:26

:( that sucks! Way to go mom *rolls eyes*

Comments

lenamartinovic 13

Wednesday 11 May 2011 15:40

advantage of being Identical twins - push the other sister into something, and then pretend you're the other sister. :)

lenamartinovic 13

Wednesday 11 May 2011 15:40

advantage of being Identical twins - push the other sister into something, and then pretend you're the other sister. :)

Daecious 0

Monday 27 June 2011 10:36

spit that mouthwash in your mothers eyes

143ForeverNAlway 4

Saturday 30 July 2011 18:27

My queston is why are there more YDI than there are FYL?

EmaBella_fml 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 12:48

That's a shitty mom.

ringettegoose 0

Friday 4 November 2011 14:56

That is so mean

White_Knightspc 0

Tuesday 15 November 2011 6:27

pee in her coffee, you'll thank me later

FangsTheVampire 0

Friday 25 November 2011 5:38

You wouldn't need a trip to the spa anyways..... You just being you is more than enough to satisfy the right guy :)

aubielovsea 9

Sunday 27 November 2011 3:52

I don't see any favoring there...

DirtyJerzey8083 7

Sunday 11 December 2011 1:25

i take it you aren't identical twins, such FYL so sorry.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Gross Embarrassing Love Instagram Social Media Crush Shoes Zoom Cars Music Neighbours Singing Cute My ex Awkward Transportation Work Anxiety Money Delivery Relatable Technology NSFW Weird Intimacy Poopoo peepee Health Sports Underwear

The Top

Today, I got home and I saw my dad come out of the kitchen in a red silk hood. I had no idea what the hell he was doing, until I went inside and heard him upstairs say to mum, “Oh my grandma, what a big mouth you have.” Hell of a way to discover your parents like roleplay in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 263

You deserved it 249

Today, cops showed up at my apartment demanding to look inside. Satisfied with the search, they told me they had received a noise complaint. More specifically, hearing screams someone believed a girl was getting raped. I had two friends over and we had been wrestling. The three of us are male. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 343

You deserved it 27 534

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 784

You deserved it 13 707

Today, I got a horrible case of the hiccups while at my friend's mother's funeral, resulting in me squeaking loudly every five seconds during the eulogy. My friend glared daggers at me until I left the room, then later accused me of being an insensitive bitch for "trying to ruin the funeral." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 366

You deserved it 4 515

Today, my husband and I mutually discovered that we are both infected with pubic lice. How? I found his and he found mine while we were in the middle of 69-ing each other. So, so gross. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 513

You deserved it 1 631

Today, I met a really sweet cute guy on a dinner date. Too bad he was the waiter instead of my date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 975

You deserved it 452

Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 166

You deserved it 2 395

Today, after many years of being one of the best workers anywhere I worked, and being superhuman, I now have to accept that I may never be able to work full time again. Why? Because apparently I haven't been properly digesting food since I was 16 and I'm now 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 141

HB!