Health, Sex, Embarrassing and Intimacy: Heartless swine

Heartless swine

By Anonymous - 15/09/2015 05:56 - United States

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, I got up to get some water. When I stood up, I fell straight to the ground, my legs were so weak. As I fell, I hit my head on the end table and knocked myself unconscious. My boyfriend laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 022

You deserved it 4 391

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Same thing different taste

It's just a flesh wound!

By manhandled - 01/02/2012 18:05 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 163

You deserved it 4 026

By Anonymous - 22/01/2012 18:06 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 623

You deserved it 4 102

Sick moves, dude

By Anonymous - 02/09/2009 09:20 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a shower together for the first time. He was trying impress me and did some sort of dance move, he slipped, and when he fell he kicked my leg out causing me to fall and hit my face on the faucet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 405

You deserved it 4 241

By JoshuasGirl - 23/12/2013 19:13 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 097

You deserved it 6 453

By Clumsy Clumsy - 16/04/2016 16:27 - Canada - Spruce Grove

Today, I ran up to my boyfriend to kiss him when he got home from work. I tripped and I fell on him, and he fell backwards. He ended up hitting his head on the sidewalk and had to get stitches. He also had a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 492

You deserved it 3 248

Oh hi!

By showerstupid - 04/04/2009 08:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was in the shower, and I decided to go join him. I took all my clothes off and stepped into the bathroom. I slipped on some water, and ended up hitting my head on the toilet and passing out. When I came to, I saw my boyfriend's dad looking over me in his towel. Wrong person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 644

You deserved it 44 830

Life imitates bad art

By sex sent me to the Er - 15/10/2019 14:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Feeling goofy, I thought it’d be funny to try to reenact that horrible sex scene from the movie Showgirls. I threw my body back, but completely lost my balance and smashed my head on the headboard. I ended up with a bad concussion and a huge hospital bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 838

You deserved it 2 142

Alexa, play "Let's Get it On" by Marvin Gaye

By notsosexy - 18/07/2020 08:01

Today, I attempted to have amazing birthday sex with my boyfriend in his dorm room. Everything was going great until we tried switching positions. I hit my head so hard on the bunk above his bed that I gave myself a concussion, and blacked out. Needless to say, the moment was ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 775

You deserved it 341

By Anonymous - 08/05/2015 16:46 - United Kingdom - Loughton

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I sneezed so hard that my head shot forward and smashed against his, sending his head backwards against the wall. He ended up with a concussion, and I still feel like someone hit me over the head with a chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 823

You deserved it 3 843

By Ouch - 25/04/2011 19:31 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 749

You deserved it 20 695

Aspen_Grace33 27

Tuesday 15 September 2015 15:50

Guess he was just that good in bed!!! On a more serious note, I'm hoping you're doing well.

TrustStolen 16

Tuesday 15 September 2015 15:53

he was probably just proud of himself that he could do that? I guess I'm trying to see the positive side of this

Comments

concon4815 10

Tuesday 15 September 2015 17:04

Whatever that guy is eating, I want some.

ShadowLor 19

Tuesday 15 September 2015 17:39

#32, spoiler alert: it was the OP

Meeran 9

Wednesday 16 September 2015 3:46

damn, you got no chill #38

ShadowLor 19

Wednesday 16 September 2015 7:02

#75, if by "no chill" you mean "a sense of humour" then you are correct!

writergirl1029 17

Tuesday 15 September 2015 17:08

If you were knocked unconscious from hitting your head, you need to go to the hospital to make sure everything is ok.

sighlifeman 12

Tuesday 15 September 2015 17:17

doubt he was that good, for you to be weak lol

OverBlossomed 21

Tuesday 15 September 2015 17:18

It's funny how we teach little kids it's rude to laugh at people, but it suddenly doesn't matter as adults. Why even bother teaching politeness then?

Jackimo98 24

Wednesday 16 September 2015 3:50

Shhhhhhhhh, just shhhh

OverBlossomed 21

Monday 11 January 2016 2:27

Good argument. /s

trucker2 33

Tuesday 15 September 2015 17:39

Harder...HARDER.. Hell I'll do it myself.

rainbowsRlove 15

Tuesday 15 September 2015 17:53

ouch! maybe a good stretch after sex?

Lalala579121 27

Tuesday 15 September 2015 17:53

At least he didn't say "oops, wrong hole".

ezrocks4u 29

Tuesday 15 September 2015 18:39

She left out the fact that this is why she was unable to walk...

shawnababyyy 9

Tuesday 15 September 2015 17:58

To answer all your questions, when I woke, he told me that he laughed. Then made sure I was okay. We laughed about it afterwards. I am okay. No concussion. Just a small bump.

ezrocks4u 29

Tuesday 15 September 2015 18:40

Did he say "wrong hole"..?

foxmatrix15 8

Tuesday 15 September 2015 18:42

I could **** you right, yeah All night, yeah Wanna bring it to my house, yeah On the couch, yeah Knock the **** out, yeah Get them out, yeah I wanna see these hoes, yeah Bend it low, yeah (yes Juvenile lyrics)