Marriage and Love: Hello, goodbye

Hello, goodbye

By Joey - 07/05/2009 22:39 - United States

Today, my wife of three years asked me to meet her for lunch at Subway. When I arrived, she was standing in the parking lot. She handed me a footlong sub, said "I got you a turkey sandwich" and followed it up with "And I'm leaving you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 157

You deserved it 5 244

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Richie - 20/05/2009 05:37 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were buying Subway. When it came to ring up the order the lady asked us together or separate? My girlfriend looked and said separate. Half-jokingly, I asked if it was some sort of hint. She looked at me and said yes. I got broken up over a 12-inch ham sub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 193

You deserved it 4 668

By DMitch - 15/05/2011 19:29 - United States

Today, I went to Subway with my girlfriend. Just as the time came for her to pay, she went to the car to grab her purse. She didn't come back. I found a note on the windshield saying, "It's over." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 882

You deserved it 14 453

Premature

By Anonymous - 04/09/2022 19:00 - United States - Paris

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at dinner, which would’ve been nice if we hadn’t been dating for only two months, and dinner was at Subway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 231

You deserved it 156

By Anonymous - 01/03/2013 07:18 - United States - American Canyon

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 705

You deserved it 7 409

By neverunderstood - 02/12/2016 12:39 - Italy - San Pietro In Casale

Today, my wife suddenly texted me to meet her halfway beetween our house and the supermarket. I immediately put my shoes on and started walking eager to get to her as fast as I could to surprise her. Turns out she was carrying three heavy bags and yelled at me for being slow and by foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 433

You deserved it 1 426

Flustration

By Anonymous - 19/03/2023 18:00

Today, I got flustered by the gorgeous sandwich artist at Subway and ordered a “meat-long foot-ball.” On Rye of course. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 254

By Anonymous - 07/07/2009 23:04 - United States

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 3 years. I got reservations for a romantic dinner, and at the end, fireworks would spell out my proposal. The whole thing had taken weeks to plan out and had cost me a lot of money. She proposed to me at a subway station first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 865

You deserved it 9 017

By salad - 28/04/2014 15:38 - United States - North Charleston

Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 951

You deserved it 5 323

By mista_sandy - 11/04/2012 16:54 - Canada - Toronto

Today, a guy asked me out and said he was going to take me to a fancy restaurant where they make the food in front of you. I love Japanese food, so I was really excited. We went to Subway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 649

You deserved it 5 792

Get back here!

By matte - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, whilst working at Subway, I took an order for 6 footlongs. The entire process took 15 minutes due to the customer's hesitant and glacial pace. When it came to paying, he pulled out his wallet, looked inside, looked at me, and walked quickly out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93 962

You deserved it 4 980

theluckygirl28 8

Friday 8 May 2009 2:02

OUCHH!!! But hey, at least you got a footlong.... or maybe you don't and that's why she's leaving you? Think about it... All kidding set aside, FYL

AngelRaven89 0

Friday 8 May 2009 2:05

Could have been worse. She could have ended things without giving you a turkey sandwich. And then where would you be!

Comments

Allord 0

Friday 15 May 2009 12:47

I would have played it all cool and focused the conversation around the sandwich. "Ooooh, turkey. Did you get mayo?" "Uh...yeah." "I love mayo, the perfect condiment on the perfect sandwich. The only thing more perfect would be mustard." "Oh there's mustard on there too." "Really? Wow, that's fantastic. I love you, mustard." "I know, well I've gotta go" And then I'd calmly walk to the back of my truck, and come back with a tire iron, and savagely smash her face.

lamisscrown 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 13:21

DAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM she is smooth

AshleyJ 0

Monday 25 May 2009 21:41

O, that sux, at least know she cared enough to get you food first. Hold in there.

Ardreyea 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 5:19

Wow! That must hurt. But at least she was straight up about it

LeCorsaire_fml 0

Friday 3 July 2009 7:35

that's some cheap parting gift.

Da_Gov 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 0:16

Maybe she's dumping you cuz you don't have a footlong? lol. Anyway that kinda ducks that you broke up with a sub...

moshpit73 0

Monday 13 July 2009 20:43

Wow, ouch mate. But I've no doubt some women have broken it with they're husbands and been alot less considerate than to buy their ex a sandwich

AvaGirl 0

Friday 31 July 2009 23:54

Was the sandwich any good?

Nanda_fml 0

Monday 21 September 2009 18:12

Would have been HILARIOUS if he had also added "I hate turkey. FML" after the last bit.

Recusant 0

Wednesday 21 October 2009 10:29

ROFL! Bet you cringe whenever you hear anything about "turkey," "footlong," "subways," or "eating fresh." She chose the metaphor for quitting you "cold turkey"! (Couldn't resist.)