Love, Embarrassing, Food and Intimacy: Hidden secret

FML for mobile
Free

Hidden secret

By anonymous - 01/10/2016 09:00 - Australia - Tennyson

Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 306

You deserved it 2 150

April Pisces: Traps and Laughs
Laugh at the best (and worst) April 1st jokes. Watch out, you could be next! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Priority number one

By soooyeah - 30/04/2009 12:15 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113 011

You deserved it 18 549

Kinky

By sandwichsex - 08/08/2009 22:39 - United States

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 191

You deserved it 12 023

By elisimo - 24/01/2012 08:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 569

You deserved it 35 868

By weirdlove - 23/01/2010 08:38 - Australia

Today, while my boyfriend and I were eating ice cream, he put his arm around me and began leaning in for what I thought was a kiss. Instead, he grabbed and began jiggling my stomach fat, along with making raspberry sounds. Once he was done, he did the same to my thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 628

You deserved it 8 005

So hot

By bonesniffer - 16/09/2010 05:13 - United States

Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 858

You deserved it 6 064

New one

By Anonymous - 07/02/2020 12:00 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I closed my eyes while my boyfriend was fingering me, and I felt a cold liquid inside me. I opened my eyes, and he was pouring yogurt into me. He said “I wanted to try something new.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 516

You deserved it 478

Turned on

By Anonymous - 04/04/2009 10:57 - Denmark

Today, was the first time my boyfriend slept over. He was hard, so I woke him up by whispering in his ear, "If you could get me to do anything right now, what would it be?" His response, "Can you get me a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream?" He was hard, for ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 460

You deserved it 14 937

Disinterested

By lily - 13/09/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I slightly opened my eyes during it and saw him with his eyes wide open, watching TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 384

You deserved it 349

By unwantedlove - 25/02/2011 18:36 - France

Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV when we started kissing. As I crawled onto his lap and started to unzip his pants, he said, "You're blocking the TV." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 167

You deserved it 6 916

By sad-sexed - 06/09/2010 12:50 - Australia

Today, I was lying on my bed with my boyfriend. I didn't really want to have sex so I told him I would if he really wanted too, but I wouldn't enjoy it. He then started to undo my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 102

You deserved it 55 549

hemiol 30

Sunday 2 October 2016 16:53

Why not both?

Scarylizard1798 23

Sunday 2 October 2016 16:50

Priorities lol

Comments

Scarylizard1798 23

Sunday 2 October 2016 16:50

Priorities lol

frostedfoster 15

Sunday 2 October 2016 17:15

*diabeties

alaina1104 11

Sunday 2 October 2016 22:05

*diabetes

BestOrginalName 22

Monday 3 October 2016 2:46

DIAHBEETUZ*

jk_waks23 19

Monday 3 October 2016 4:06

You don't get diabetes by just eating ice cream a lot . So it's okay! Op's boyfriend can enjoy his day!

BaththeMan 2

Sunday 2 October 2016 16:51

Well at least you know he isn't the average sex driven douche bag right ?

hemiol 30

Sunday 2 October 2016 16:53

Why not both?

magicdust95 31

Sunday 2 October 2016 16:54

Food before anything ?

mattiscg 22

Sunday 2 October 2016 17:01

wait shouldn't you be happy he wasnt talking about being ashamed of have sex with you?

ndts 4

Monday 3 October 2016 2:35

Maybe op thought it'd be really dirty and kinky Sex?

justinb97 16

Monday 3 October 2016 4:14

It's less about being ashamed and more about decency

Bassam24 21

Sunday 2 October 2016 17:02

why don't you eat ice cream with him everyone likes ice cream

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 2 October 2016 17:10

I hope his brain-freeze was worse than your lady-parts-freeze!

keepcool67 4

Sunday 2 October 2016 17:38

Did you just assume it's gender?

captain_hero89 22

Sunday 2 October 2016 17:12

smart move. no one needs to see anyone eat that much ice cream

pancakebunny 19

Sunday 2 October 2016 17:27

Hahahahahahhaha

man_in_black08 28

Sunday 2 October 2016 17:40

Thats what you get for orgasming thinking about krispy kreme doughnuts when you had sex with him earlier!!

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Intimacy Awkward Sex Miscellaneous Cats Love Farts Motherhood Politics Relatable Argument Family Work Shopping Money Capitalism Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Health Dentist Gross Food Mental health Party Scams Weddings Relationship advice Furniture Cute Periods

The Top

Today, I picked my son up from school, and asked how his day went. He told me how his friend explained to him that his mommy snorts sugar with his uncle, and if he could try what his friend's mom calls "Booger sugar" when we got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032

You deserved it 93

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 921

You deserved it 16 363

The Top

Today, I found out that my cat has been secretly stealing my socks and hiding them under the couch, when I found a pile of 15 socks after I finally moved my furniture to vacuum the floor underneath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 644

You deserved it 182

Today, I found out my husband of 7 years has been cheating on me with "10-15" people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 117

You deserved it 231

Today, I wandered around my property with my children, trying to find our escaped house cat. While in the more wooded parts, we spotted her on the ground, being picked over by a coyote. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 168

You deserved it 3 308

Today, I discovered my girlfriend stealing from my bank account. She thought she was smart by disguising her transfers as 'GAS BILL' or 'NETFLIX BILL'. Um, Netflix doesn’t cost £100 a month, and BILL is spelt with two Ls, not three. Reported for fraud; got my money back; single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 105

Today, after a couple days of taking lessons after I decided to learn to play Chess as a hobby, I felt a bit better about my skill level than I was before. Then I got absolutely humbled by five different people. One of them actually said to me, "What Glass Joe is to Punch-Out, you are to chess." It's hard to not be discouraged after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 131

Today, the window cleaner did his rounds at my house. I sat at my mirror applying makeup and doing my hair. When he came to my window, he yelled rather loudly, "Stop putting on a show for me, you dirty slut!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 441

You deserved it 6 688