Transportation and Airplanes: Holding pattern - FML

Holding pattern

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff - United States - Chevy Chase

Today, I just landed in Washington, DC. Unfortunately, I also took off from Washington, DC an hour ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 997

You deserved it 261

New Year, New Blunders
Celebrate the New Year with stories of resolutions broken in less than 24 hours and memorable New Year's Eves... for all the wrong reasons! More…

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Same thing different taste

On the run

By Airplane crap - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Leavenworth

Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 486

You deserved it 4 228

By Catcrap! - 18/11/2013 23:47 - United States - Rialto

Today, I'm moving from Arizona to Washington State with my 2 cats in my car. I've only just left and just learned that one cat gets carsick and the other stress farts. Only 956 more miles to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 313

You deserved it 6 398

By Anonymous - 27/11/2013 02:39 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I was searched and questioned at the airport for having an apple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 961

You deserved it 4 784

By aaannnddd there goes my boner - 28/11/2013 22:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I arrived at work six minutes late due to heavily congested traffic. This is just two days after my boss put out a memo saying that anyone who's late to work from then until the new year will have their holiday bonus pay forfeited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 210

You deserved it 8 425

Just Slytherin

By GrLifeusx - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was going to a Harry Potter convention since I love the books so much. On my drive there I got lost, and it only got worse when my car broke down. Since I'd forgotten my phone, I tried to hitch a ride. I stood on the side of a road for two hours dressed like Ron Weasley. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 199

You deserved it 58 870

By Anonymous - 03/08/2016 18:01 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 249

You deserved it 1 256

I hate myself

By trixanne - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Australia - Sydney

Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I left my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 722

You deserved it 3 950

By ihatelongflights - 21/08/2009 16:18 - United States

Today, I was on a flight coming back home. On my right was a fat monk who was snoring very loudly, and on my left there were two old women who were talking about their teenage love lives in detail. The flight was 17 hours long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 756

You deserved it 3 024

Bored

By letmeinplease - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I wasn't allowed to work from home, despite being ill enough to just take the day off anyway, all so there could be "someone to answer the phone." The phone didn't ring once all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 728

You deserved it 3 013

Red flag

By Kirby - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, as I was walking back to my dorm, I looked down and thought, "I wonder why the ground is wet in just this one spot?" Then I got hit with a water balloon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 204

You deserved it 4 509

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 16 September 2018 19:04

Planes can’t physically leave DC because Trump sucks, literally.

BurnInDemonFire 34

Sunday 9 September 2018 3:12

That must have been a very slow inverted loop.

Comments

BurnInDemonFire 34

Sunday 9 September 2018 3:12

That must have been a very slow inverted loop.

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 16 September 2018 19:04

Planes can’t physically leave DC because Trump sucks, literally.

ViviMage 39

Sunday 16 September 2018 20:41

Yay, Ronald Regan National Airport puts you into a nosedive again! I almost missed my plane there, but thankfully it was late and the last occupants were offloading. I collapsed at the terminal in relief. FML

ZombieAngelic 3

Monday 17 September 2018 3:13

I had a dream like that once when I was nine or ten, I thought I was going to Australia, and I was excited, but when I got off the plane, I was still in New Zealand. I actually flew again, and I landed in my home, which looked the same as it did in real life, except someone had written "MUMMY" on the ground near the bottom of the staircase.

Benopero 8

Monday 17 September 2018 3:31

Return to sender.

Chewy1 18

Monday 17 September 2018 5:07

Round trip taken to the next level.

wanted_2_want 40

Monday 17 September 2018 6:21

Maybe the pilot returned To get directions !? It’s a joke people. !

Keywords

Animals Cats Poopoo peepee Gross Love Awkward Smells Miscellaneous Embarrassing Health Painful First Dates Christmas Work Music Grieving Social Media Boredom Anniversary Ironic Intimacy Abuse AITA Drunk Am I overreacting? Transportation Alcohol Gun control Kids Parents

The Top

Today, my husband had confessed that we couldn't go on a vacation this spring because he was out of vacation time. He took two weeks off and pretended to go to work, then came home once I'd left. Another woman? No, some stupid shit in his video game called "Runescape Leagues." FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 141

Today, I was at work, a grocery store, and my manager came up to me while I was on my lunch break. He told me that a customer said someone in the parking lot had been loitering around the cars. I went outside to investigate and saw a drunk man pooping on the front of a car. That car was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 471

You deserved it 1 271

The Top

Cannonball!

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 248

Today, I discovered my boyfriend of 5 months runs a website where men can submit nude or semi nude pictures of their ex's for revenge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 890

You deserved it 5 630

Today, I had a dream where I was imagining myself hooking up with a really hot girl. Not a sex dream. A dream where I was sitting in a room alone and imagining myself hooking up with this really hot girl. Even in my dreams I can only imagine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 228

You deserved it 270

Today, I was at a store. I asked if I needed a key for their bathroom, and they said the door was open. I have to walk past them to go in and out of the bathroom. Thirty seconds later, they used the key and walked in on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 747

You deserved it 104

Today, I woke up at 2 AM to the sounds of my roommate and his girlfriend on Skype, playing a game of, "No, I love YOU more, baby, schmoopy schmoopy schmoopy schmoo". It went on for around half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 886

You deserved it 1 703

Today, my colleague heated 1,5 liters of water, waited visibly impatient the several minutes it took to boil, made himself one cup of tea, then poured the rest down the drain. Maximum amount of time and energy wasted in one go? Check. FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 116