Animals: How dare you

How dare you

By pissed off - 01/07/2012 01:00

Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 500

You deserved it 2 628

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

By litterbox_girl - 19/08/2009 01:13 - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 806

You deserved it 71 147

By Js2cool - 29/09/2015 02:32 - United States - Fitchburg

Today, I went to clean my cat's litter box, not realizing she was in it. As I lifted the top half of the litter box up, she sprayed me with piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 084

You deserved it 7 120

A Caturday surprise

By fucking cat - 02/03/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, I shut the door to the bedroom so my wife and I could have a serious talk. Unfortunately, the cat stuck his paw under the door and started flailing around, causing me to bust up laughing at a bad moment. My wife was furious, threw a water bottle at me, and locked me out overnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 230

By time to buy a gun - 02/11/2015 04:22 - United States - Carolina

Today, I was upstairs with my wife when I heard my cat scream from the porch downstairs. I ran down to find her "puffed up" and growling on the floor, and a corner of the screen next to the door busted out. I still have no idea what caused it and my wife is now afraid to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 033

You deserved it 1 698

Poor little guy

By CatLady - 09/06/2011 07:20 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 330

You deserved it 6 048

By Adam - 16/03/2010 20:51 - United States

Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 335

You deserved it 5 185

By Anonymous - 04/05/2009 12:37 - Canada

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me because he loves toilets. Everyone was sleeping so I went pee but didnt flush. My cat jumped onto the seat and fell in. I had to lift him out and then wash him. He hates water though, so I was scratched by my cat who was dripping with my own pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 008

You deserved it 28 867

Party animal

By Anonymous - 16/09/2020 02:04

Today, my husband woke up, tried walking to the bathroom, fell down, got back up and started peeing on the carpet. I’ve never seen him this drunk before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 280

You deserved it 193

Wait for the hangover

By Carpet cleaner - 21/02/2012 02:15 - Canada

Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 122

You deserved it 2 676

Say sorry to Mr Whiskers!

By Anonymous - 10/05/2021 14:01

Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 328

xxkimmyt 9

Sunday 1 July 2012 10:12

Maybe that is why I woke up.

krysxkatastrophe 14

Sunday 1 July 2012 10:14

That's actually really funny. At least he peed in the litter box instead of the floor.

Comments

xxkimmyt 9

Sunday 1 July 2012 10:12

Maybe that is why I woke up.

PrimeEvilTahir 24

Sunday 1 July 2012 10:48

... Ah that solves the mystery of the scream I heard. And here I thought someone left the TV on...

newbiehere99 6

Sunday 1 July 2012 11:46

I bet the cat was pissed ... Anyone? No? Ok ... Haha

22cute 17

Sunday 1 July 2012 13:40

Your man deserved it. Pissing is how animals mark their territory remember.

Oreohugzpenny 4

Sunday 1 July 2012 16:00

Your husband is very intelligent when drunk.

zandalee 19

Monday 2 July 2012 5:55

No wonder she was pissed, ******* vibrator was in there! Now it's ruined!!!!!

krysxkatastrophe 14

Sunday 1 July 2012 10:14

That's actually really funny. At least he peed in the litter box instead of the floor.

mylifesucks_fml 1

Sunday 1 July 2012 17:19

have fun trying to make it feel better OP...

moonsxstars 6

Sunday 1 July 2012 10:15

Your cat found a new scratching post

meihua 19

Sunday 1 July 2012 18:09

So is the new scratching post his penis?

Webslinger66 10

Sunday 1 July 2012 22:14

That is not cool. Although if he was that drunk, he should have just gone outside.

yuggi1 11

Sunday 1 July 2012 10:15

At least he didn't pee in the fridge. Yuck.

Krirn 21

Sunday 1 July 2012 10:25

Yes, at least he didn't pee in the (insert "anything but toilet and litterbox" here)

yuggi1 11

Sunday 1 July 2012 10:54

Hey! I don't appreciate your comments! I actually had this happened to me. I speak from experience! Yes, it was a drunk bastard. No, it wasn't me. Yes, I had to clean the filth up at the crack of damn. It was one of the nastiest things I'd ever done. I had to buy a new fridge because of the awful, never going away smell. So you can grab your condescending comments and shove them up your rectums. >:) lolololol.

ninjadinos 14

Sunday 1 July 2012 10:58

I feel like most people have attempted peeing in the fridge at least once... Right?

unknown_user5566 26

Sunday 1 July 2012 11:02

17- Do you honestly think Baustigt cares if he offends anyone?

yuggi1 11

Sunday 1 July 2012 11:06

I neither think or care. I post for the pleasure of posting. I'm not even upset. My playful smile and the "lolol"s at the end will clarify that. Where am I you ask? Well, not sitting in the toilet trying to pass time and logs. Certainly not THAT.

chevonfinley 8

Sunday 1 July 2012 14:33

17 - Up at the "crack of damn"?! ... I'm assuming that's freakin early.

Shadomasta 5

Sunday 1 July 2012 17:07

Thanks baustigt. I'm perry sure I'm going to get written up from my excessive user of laughter in the work place.

GweedSincE84_fml 15

Sunday 1 July 2012 10:16

Lmfao! You should be glad he didn't drop a deuce in the litter box

Meettitan 14

Sunday 1 July 2012 10:37

I think urination is more common whilst inebriated, but I could be wrong...

unknown_user5566 26

Sunday 1 July 2012 11:21

It may be more common to urinate, but it's not like inebriation prevents you from taking a dump.

ebonyirony 29

Sunday 1 July 2012 16:09

Once you piss once, you piss all night.

jojimugo 20

Sunday 1 July 2012 10:20

Throw some salt over your shoulder , light a black candle ..... Do something cause that's some hex shit

jojimugo 20

Sunday 1 July 2012 10:35

Wrong fml ...... Freaking tequila

Complaining 13

Sunday 1 July 2012 10:22

Well, I can see it certainly woke you.

calilovesneb 12

Sunday 1 July 2012 10:24

For awhile, my cat used to try I attack anyone who tried to clean out her litter box. It was ridiculous. We had to do it while she was downstairs and then once she found out that it was clean she started peeing around the house. Crazy felines.