Kids: How in hell…?

How in hell…?

By Anonymous - 19/06/2013 16:12 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 026

You deserved it 5 277

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

Teenagers…

By why the fuck would you do that - 25/02/2013 02:57 - United States - Phoenix

Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 592

You deserved it 3 792

Learning curve

By Anonymous - 16/08/2017 16:00

Today, my 3-year-old son put into practice the lesson I taught him yesterday, about how to use a larger piece of Play-Doh to pick up smaller bits. Unfortunately, he used this method to pick up a small bit of poo from his pants with a larger bit of poo direct from the toilet. I was an hour late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 077

You deserved it 492

Not too fond of the chair

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist. He broke a whole stack of plates, overflowed the bathtub, let the dog loose, and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down. My son is 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 858

You deserved it 36 531

Great work, son

By firestar772 - 12/06/2013 06:21 - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 825

You deserved it 5 473

By Anonymous - 28/06/2013 20:36 - Jordan - Amman

Today, my 12-year-old son played QWOP on my laptop. Half an hour later, he virtually destroyed it in a fit of rage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 230

You deserved it 5 395

By Anonymous - 11/09/2011 19:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to clean up after the kid that discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 245

You deserved it 3 186

Kids will be kids

By Anonymous - 27/08/2020 10:02 - Australia - Murarrie

Today, my son accidentally damaged another kid in the face with a baseball bat, while blindfolded trying to hit a piñata. Except there was no piñata, or blindfold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 686

You deserved it 1 291

Cats are the same

By GrumpyMonk - 21/01/2022 04:58

Today, my son was playing with a piece of plastic wrapping and trying not to let it fall to the floor as if it were a balloon. This is after he got some kick ass gifts for Christmas. Kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 779

So, here's the thing…

By dad - 28/04/2024 11:00 - United States

Today, my 6 year-old son and his cousin were play boxing. For fun, I taught them some real moves. I guess my son is a natural but my nephew got hit so hard he fell over and broke his arm. Now I have to explain this to my wife and her sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 651

Back in fashion (Oppenheimer dolls not so much)

By JGarz - 10/10/2015 07:21 - United States - Tucson

Today, I walked in on my teenage son passionately making out with one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 306

You deserved it 2 730

TheDrifter 23

Wednesday 19 June 2013 22:30

True talent. Hide the modeling clay, it might put him in the ICU.

KainMoogle 21

Wednesday 19 June 2013 22:32

All I want to know is one thing... How?

Comments

kross_reach 17

Wednesday 19 June 2013 22:46

The van gough of play doh

darwinism 30

Wednesday 19 June 2013 22:46

Now you know how to punish him.

barcjean 9

Wednesday 19 June 2013 22:47

He went full retard... You never go full retard

KBurns207 17

Wednesday 19 June 2013 22:52

Give the little guy crayons next time.

edmunson 22

Thursday 20 June 2013 6:21

Nah, he may get food poisoning from crayons...

nightbirdblue 27

Thursday 20 June 2013 7:17

Nope, he would poke his eyes out with the crayons. Plus the paper would tear him to shreds.

HaraAishi 8

Wednesday 19 June 2013 22:54

I'm utterly curious how that happened.

simsgirlgem 25

Wednesday 19 June 2013 22:55

WHAT THE HELL KIND OF PLAY-DOH IS THAT?!

Likian5 26

Wednesday 19 June 2013 23:00

How???

MEM0817 18

Wednesday 19 June 2013 23:01

Are you sure he's not 1+6? This FML just made my shitty day that much better. This was the funniest one I've read in awhile!

ulissey_fml 22

Wednesday 19 June 2013 23:04

Guess his name is Homer. D'OH !!

kpc2424 13

Wednesday 19 June 2013 23:07

He needs to graduate to throwing knives!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 014

You deserved it 3 401

Today, I went to my crush's house. We were watching a movie when suddenly he started kissing me. As it deepened he began to feel around. He was groping my armpit the whole time but I was too embarrassed that my underarm could pass for my boobs to redirect him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 388

You deserved it 8 340

The Top

Today, I still didn't feel quite awake after the first lesson at school, so I went to get a cup of coffee from the vending machine. I had just enough money for it. No cup dropped into the holder, and the whole thing poured straight into the drip tray while I watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 675

You deserved it 3 248

Today, we had an argument and my husband called my mother right in front me. Two minutes later, she was on his side and yelling at me on FaceTime that I’m a bad wife, a pain in the ass, and a nagging bitch. The argument was about him leaving tools around for me to step on and cut my foot open with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 117

Today, I went to the graveyard with my little brother to visit my grandfather's grave. While we were there, my brother suddenly asked me, "Can you die now? I hate you." He's 7 year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 004

You deserved it 164

Today, in an attempt to keep a conversation flowing, I panicked and asked a man what country he was from in response to him telling me he was Brazilian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 327

You deserved it 736

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 619

You deserved it 17 978

Today, whilst at work as a furniture salesperson, a couple was looking at a couch. As part of our sales technique, we invite people to take a seat. The man was wearing shorts, and his testicles dropped out to the side. I had to discuss fabric options, etc, whilst avoiding looking at his balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 866

You deserved it 980

Same thing different taste

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