Painful and Health: How? What?

How? What?

By Anonymous - 14/07/2012 14:43 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I managed to bruise my nipple by closing an umbrella on it. The stupidity of the whole thing hurts almost as much as the injury. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 669

You deserved it 5 192

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Same thing different taste

By MikeNick - 17/12/2011 07:59 - United States

Today, I somehow managed to slam my trumpet case closed on my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 714

You deserved it 9 800

By Display - 27/09/2012 04:10 - France - Paris

Today, I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush my nipple while closing my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 136

You deserved it 7 231

Slice of life

By Eleanor - 19/02/2017 23:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I tripped and fell on my open dishwasher, right onto a carving knife. I'm mostly ok, except that my nipple has been sliced neatly in half. Seriously, the two halves keep flapping open like a little mouth. It would be funnier if it wasn't so painful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 897

You deserved it 629

By Anonymous - 26/01/2012 16:45 - United States

Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 006

You deserved it 32 371

By deerling - 06/03/2019 18:00

Today, while shaving I accidentally shaved of half of my left nipple. Worst of all? I didn't notice it until I looked down and saw blood everywhere. That's when the pain hit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 999

You deserved it 477

By anonymous - 04/08/2015 20:56 - United States - Ballwin

Today, while shaving in the shower, my mother banged on the bathroom door to tell me something, right as I went to shave under my left armpit, causing me to jump and cut open my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 644

You deserved it 2 059

I don't know my strength

By Anonymous - 09/01/2022 06:01 - Australia - Perth

Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 313

By Anonymous - 11/11/2015 11:03 - United States - Rochester

Today, I fractured my shinbone after slipping on a leaf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 807

You deserved it 2 279

By Kev - 23/05/2019 04:00

Today, after a number of other automotive misadventures, I tried to find out why my radiator fan decided to quit working. That's when my hood struts thought it would be a good time to give way. Now I have big bruise on my shoulder where the latch hit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 609

You deserved it 152

By metalmeow - 17/06/2019 05:00

Today, after taking care not to hurt myself during my workout, I injured my shoulder extricating myself from my sports bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 699

You deserved it 214

CheesecakeTaco 3

Saturday 14 July 2012 19:29

Purple nurple'ed by an umbrella. Thats a new one.

ManInTheMachine 19

Saturday 14 July 2012 19:28

Why was the umbrella that close to your body to begin with? I usually hold it out in front of me, not right against my chest.

Comments

Ugi 26

Monday 16 July 2012 12:05

I find the mechanics of this one almost impossible to conceive, but FYL anyway - that's gotta hurt!

HeartOfLead 24

Friday 20 July 2012 4:11

Tender, tender nipples

KingreX32 21

Tuesday 1 October 2013 21:00

How.........?

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I cut my hair short and he didn't want people to think he was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 091

You deserved it 7 692

Today, I finally got to attend the concert I have been anticipating for weeks. The band was great. The drunk guy sitting behind me yelling profanity and out of tune lyrics in my ear throughout the entire show, however, was not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 175

You deserved it 2 216

The Top

Today, I rang my girlfriend to make sure she made it home alright. She told me to check my Facebook. Nothing was different so I hit refresh. We were no longer in a relationship. I got dumped via Facebook whilst on the phone to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 435

You deserved it 3 108

Today, I finally told my dad that he owes me over 400 dollars, and that I need it or else I'd get kicked out of my apartment. He only gave me 70 and said to get a better job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 669

You deserved it 5 089

Today, my husband answered a FaceTime call from his mother not 30 seconds after sex. I was naked in bed next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 791

You deserved it 602

Today, my boyfriend threw out my old voicemail recorder, thinking it was junk. My father passed away years ago. I kept a recording of the last voicemail he'd left me on it so I'd always remember his voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 062

You deserved it 4 231

Today, my girlfriend's husband heard us having sex, but he's so naive, he believed her when she said we were just watching porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 3 358

Today, after several hours of trying to get my triplet daughters to go to bed, they finally fell asleep. Exhausted, I went to the bathroom so I could go to bed. Not thinking about it, I dropped the toilet seat down rather loudly and flushed the toilet. All three girls woke up crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 614

You deserved it 27 514

How? What?

Same thing different taste

Slice of life

I don't know my strength

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