Painful and Health: How? What?

How? What?

By Anonymous - 14/07/2012 14:43 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I managed to bruise my nipple by closing an umbrella on it. The stupidity of the whole thing hurts almost as much as the injury. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 669

You deserved it 5 192

Carnival of Disasters
Dive into carnival, where hilarious costumes meet unexpected mishaps. Laughter is guaranteed, mask or no mask! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By MikeNick - 17/12/2011 07:59 - United States

Today, I somehow managed to slam my trumpet case closed on my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 714

You deserved it 9 799

By Display - 27/09/2012 04:10 - France - Paris

Today, I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush my nipple while closing my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 136

You deserved it 7 231

Slice of life

By Eleanor - 19/02/2017 23:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I tripped and fell on my open dishwasher, right onto a carving knife. I'm mostly ok, except that my nipple has been sliced neatly in half. Seriously, the two halves keep flapping open like a little mouth. It would be funnier if it wasn't so painful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 897

You deserved it 629

By Anonymous - 26/01/2012 16:45 - United States

Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 006

You deserved it 32 371

By deerling - 06/03/2019 18:00

Today, while shaving I accidentally shaved of half of my left nipple. Worst of all? I didn't notice it until I looked down and saw blood everywhere. That's when the pain hit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 997

You deserved it 477

By anonymous - 04/08/2015 20:56 - United States - Ballwin

Today, while shaving in the shower, my mother banged on the bathroom door to tell me something, right as I went to shave under my left armpit, causing me to jump and cut open my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 644

You deserved it 2 059

I don't know my strength

By Anonymous - 09/01/2022 06:01 - Australia - Perth

Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 313

By Anonymous - 11/11/2015 11:03 - United States - Rochester

Today, I fractured my shinbone after slipping on a leaf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 807

You deserved it 2 279

By Kev - 23/05/2019 04:00

Today, after a number of other automotive misadventures, I tried to find out why my radiator fan decided to quit working. That's when my hood struts thought it would be a good time to give way. Now I have big bruise on my shoulder where the latch hit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 608

You deserved it 152

By metalmeow - 17/06/2019 05:00

Today, after taking care not to hurt myself during my workout, I injured my shoulder extricating myself from my sports bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 698

You deserved it 213

CheesecakeTaco 3

Saturday 14 July 2012 19:29

Purple nurple'ed by an umbrella. Thats a new one.

ManInTheMachine 19

Saturday 14 July 2012 19:28

Why was the umbrella that close to your body to begin with? I usually hold it out in front of me, not right against my chest.

Comments

Ugi 26

Monday 16 July 2012 12:05

I find the mechanics of this one almost impossible to conceive, but FYL anyway - that's gotta hurt!

HeartOfLead 24

Friday 20 July 2012 4:11

Tender, tender nipples

KingreX32 21

Tuesday 1 October 2013 21:00

How.........?

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Relatable Work Break-ups Love Coworkers I need your advice Awkward Engagement School Parenting Kids Parents Birthday Cats Cooking Food Messy Miscellaneous Weddings Dance Embarrassing Texting Poopoo peepee Health Clumsy Clothes Mental health Annoying Noise Lonely

The Top

Today, I was eating whilst driving. I tried to stop sauce from spilling on the console and instead smashed into a parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 1 421

Today, the girl I stalked in high school found me. I've since gotten therapy and fixed my attachment issues, but she told my fiancée the whole story anyway. Now I'm single and sleeping on my clothes in the back of a U-haul. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 267

The Top

Today, I had a nightmare and woke up in a cold sweat. My girlfriend was in bed with me at the time, and swears I yelled out another girl's name. She considers this proof that I'm cheating on her, and now she won't even speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 063

You deserved it 5 306

Today, yet another first date was a total waste of my time as he was yet another creep more interested in the experience of fucking a dwarf than he was in getting to know me as a person. I’m just gonna stay single forever. It’s not like I’ve always dreamed of marriage or anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 693

You deserved it 122

Today, I thought it would be funny to scare my dad for once, since he has scared me for fun dozens of times. It would have been funny, had he not punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 503

You deserved it 7 491

Today, I got an e-mail from my seminar tutor asking why I wasn't in class. I was sitting next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 015

You deserved it 2 921

Today, I was washing up in a public bathroom, when I looked up for a second and saw a kid in the mirror staring back at me. I gasped, as I thought the place had been empty. He whispered, "It's time to die." I screamed and ran out, only to hear him burst out laughing behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 904

You deserved it 9 210

Today, I was finally able to see my gran for the first time since lockdown. She told me off for not visiting sooner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 359

You deserved it 163

How? What?

Same thing different taste

Slice of life

I don't know my strength

Top comments

Comments