Poopoo peepee and Miscellaneous: How? Why?

How? Why?

By Noname - 12/03/2009 19:56 - United States

Today, I went over to my uncle's house for dinner and my stomach hurt really bad. I noticed there were two toilets and sat in the prettier one and took a huge dump. Turns out I'd chosen the brand new toilet that wasn't connected to anything yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 046

You deserved it 31 384

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Same thing different taste

Cringe

By mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 475

You deserved it 4 811

Sitcom vibes

By Anonymous - 16/11/2013 19:31 - France - Paris

Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 401

You deserved it 48 868

Can't hold it in anymore

By Anonymous - 28/05/2022 04:00 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, both toilets in my house were occupied, so I had to shit outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 183

Noise machine

By achtung - 01/02/2009 23:57 - United States

Today, I had to use my friend's toilet. His pretty cute sister was in the kitchen adjoining the bathroom, so I smiled and said hi on my way through. I then had the loudest and most vile-sounding shit of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 141

You deserved it 5 835

Sorry, little dude

By dire-rear - 16/01/2010 20:19 - Singapore

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 099

You deserved it 3 657

By what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god - 05/04/2013 18:51 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 695

You deserved it 4 836

By Anonymous - 27/08/2011 23:07 - Canada

Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 505

You deserved it 5 644

By bonnmo - 11/11/2018 11:30 - United States

Today, I took a big, smelly, satisfying dump when I woke up. When I tried to flush, nothing happened. None of my four roommates bothered to tell me we didn’t have running water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 995

You deserved it 297

By SeatofIgnorance - 29/08/2017 04:30

Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 682

You deserved it 4 988

Looks like we made it… Oh.

By Anonymous - 12/10/2020 23:01 - United States - San Jose

Today, I went on a walk with my family because I'm trying to be more active. We were near my son's school when I got a grumbling in my stomach. I rushed to find a place to take a dump. As I approached a Porta-Potty, my ass couldn't hold it any longer and I shit myself 20 feet away from the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 335

You deserved it 198

alyssa_22 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 23:21

Wouldn't you notice that there's no water in it?

iammeanttolive 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 23:14

Shit happens. (:

Comments

uguysareidiots 0

Friday 13 March 2009 1:57

haha u desearved taht one! dumps arent soposed to be pretty!

tekkoem 0

Friday 13 March 2009 2:03

this person is an idiot.

Newo_fml 0

Friday 13 March 2009 2:21

aw :(

paperplanes92 0

Friday 13 March 2009 2:38

it is sexist, its making the assumption that all women are bad drivers.. its a stupid streotype

whoopwhoop_fml 0

Friday 13 March 2009 2:49

stupid women... just kiddin ;) if this is real that sucks lol...i hate going #2 at someone else's house for fear of something out of the ordinary happening...just like this

reader1 0

Friday 13 March 2009 2:57

Entirely possible. I rarely look in the toilet before I use it. Just a thing that I have. But after reading this FML, I might start...

wrestler_fml 0

Friday 13 March 2009 2:59

Ok, let me clear up the stereotyping for all of you: 1) That IS stereotyping. 2) However, it happens to be a slightly true stereotype. It IN NO WAY stands for all women, or even the great majority of women..... but us men do always look at the toilet before taking a crap or pee. I can back that up, I give it 2 looks or more! I wouldn't ever miss an empty toilet seat. And I know that my mom and sister have before. 3) SHE SAID THE WORD PRETTIER. THERE IS NO F*CKING WAY A GUY WOULD SAY "AND SAT IN THE PRETTIER ONE"!