Miscellaneous: Hush

Hush

By bitchyhiccups - 19/03/2012 13:14 - United States - Tempe

Today, I got a horrible case of the hiccups while at my friend's mother's funeral, resulting in me squeaking loudly every five seconds during the eulogy. My friend glared daggers at me until I left the room, then later accused me of being an insensitive bitch for "trying to ruin the funeral." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 357

You deserved it 4 512

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Same thing different taste

By fuck people - 02/08/2013 20:58 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I attended the funeral of a close friend. Most of the other guests were openly grinning and joking around, and the guy in front of me kept muttering, "That's what she said!" during the eulogy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 044

You deserved it 3 188

Sorry, I…

By Anonymous - 07/02/2015 14:33 - United States - Brownwood

Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 835

You deserved it 6 955

Unusual method

By Anonymous - 08/06/2009 13:49 - United States

Today, my friend was having a party. It was going good until I got the hiccups really bad, and they wouldn't go away. My friend decided to scare them away by shooting a pellet gun right next to my head. Bad news: It blew out my eardrum. I still have the hiccups. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 918

You deserved it 5 168

Shut up!

By Unfun funeral - 31/10/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, I went to my uncle's funeral. His eulogy was ruined by an annoying little kid repeatedly talking over the pastor, who didn't pause for anything, no matter how many times his parents told him to stop. The complimentary lunch was horrible, and the hearse driving him to the cemetery got into an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 70

By Anonymous - 24/03/2011 07:29 - Australia

Today, I was chosen to MC a function at work. I developed a terrible case of hiccups which made the audience giggle and groan for the duration of my time on stage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 429

You deserved it 3 286

By Anonymous - 06/07/2011 23:38 - United States

Today, my family attended the funeral of an old family friend's baby, who died in childbirth. Afterwards, my husband went around snickering and quietly telling dead baby jokes to the other attendees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 728

You deserved it 6 242

What's on your mind?

By Anonymous - 13/06/2014 22:06 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, at my mother's open-casket funeral, my sister-in-law went to pay her respects. As she stood in front of the body, she coughed, muttering "Bitch" in the process. Either nobody else noticed or nobody cared, and she went on her way, noticeably not choked up at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 399

You deserved it 4 370

By sillymink - 20/08/2016 02:06 - United States

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of my grandfather's funeral and my cousin started cracking up. It caused a chain reaction of laughter throughout all of the other cousins and my siblings. Now my aunts won't speak to any of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 741

You deserved it 2 420

Foreshadowing

By Anonymous - 21/03/2022 23:00 - United States - Morganville

Today, my (now ex) best friend wore funeral attire to my wedding, and instead of a speech, she gave a eulogy, making it sound like my new husband had brutally murdered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 100

You deserved it 163

Respect the dead

By yawny - 22/10/2023 16:00

Today, I got slapped in the face for stifling a yawn at my grandmother’s funeral. I wasn’t being disrespectful; I have a condition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 666

You deserved it 142

greeneye_fml 12

Monday 19 March 2012 19:03

Did you try holding your breath to stop the hiccups? Works for me. But yeah its not like they're voluntary. That sucks.

rokemay 10

Monday 19 March 2012 19:07

It sucks that you had the hiccups but you should have quietly excused yourself and left

Comments

Platfoot 0

Monday 19 March 2012 20:24

Aren't hiccups one of the most weirdest things of the human body?

IsBitchBetter 1

Monday 19 March 2012 20:28

Just wondering why you couldn't excuse yourself. It would have been far more respectful and considerate to step out and get some water or put your head between your legs. Just seems like a no-brainer to me.

Strafeh 9

Monday 19 March 2012 20:28

Most funerals are ruined at the start. Because SOME ASSHOLE has to always die...

zebralover23 14

Monday 19 March 2012 20:31

I would of smacked her for called me that

1crabbygirl 10

Tuesday 20 March 2012 5:13

you are a nasty little c u next Thursday.

yumyumpoptart 16

Monday 19 March 2012 20:33

why did OP get more "you deserved it"?! like nobody can help it if they start hiccuping

aeisha26 12

Monday 19 March 2012 20:53

but u can always excuse urself and leave especially when they cause u to speak loudly during a funeral

aeisha26 12

Monday 19 March 2012 20:56

squeak* my mistake

badactor009 0

Tuesday 20 March 2012 11:14

My guess is because of the way she handled it. You can't help hiccuping but to sit there like an idiot disrupting the entire eulogy is stupid. You treat this the same as a baby crying... You can't help it but you quietly excuse yourself and get out of earshot of the gathering. You can help disrupting the entire event. That's why.

icantfindwaldo 0

Monday 19 March 2012 20:47

You insensitive bitch

tfb4u 8

Monday 19 March 2012 20:48

It's not like u did it on purpose.

wooley29 8

Monday 19 March 2012 20:49

You might not be able to control your hiccups but you could have removed yourself from the room.

Whydoyouask 11

Monday 19 March 2012 20:49

@67 she can definitely help getting up and excusing herself before making a scene. The fact that she waited until people started glaring at her is probably why.