Health, Embarrassing and Accident: I'm a dumbass

I'm a dumbass

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I almost died in the shower when I slipped and my dumbass self tried to grab the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 079

You deserved it 591

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

BurnInDemonFire 34

Thursday 11 July 2019 14:20

"Why isn't this working?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Chazzster 28

Friday 27 January 2023 18:30

And that’s why grab bars are a good idea in the shower. But they have to be sturdy!

Comments

BurnInDemonFire 34

Thursday 11 July 2019 14:20

"Why isn't this working?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

JackWood 20

Friday 27 January 2023 7:02

I want what your taking. js

RichardPencil 30

Friday 27 January 2023 7:10

I almost died from déjà vu.

Chazzster 28

Friday 27 January 2023 18:30

And that’s why grab bars are a good idea in the shower. But they have to be sturdy!

Keywords

Money Christmas Gifts Relatable Lonely Health Family Awkward Miscellaneous Social Media Technology Narcissistic parents Holidays Drunk Love Poopoo peepee Dogs Animals Annoying Work My ex Religion Shopping AITA Intimacy Am I overreacting? Cheating Break-ups Furniture Delivery

The Top

Today, I went a girl's home for our second date. As she opened the door, she was leaving with another guy. I said, "I thought we had a date this evening?" Her response was, “Tah tah!” as she walked out the door while hanging on to his arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 90

Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "My mom is SO awesome." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 967

You deserved it 4 014

The Top

Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks, "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 343

You deserved it 11 652

Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 527

You deserved it 17 449

Today, I was chewing my pen while I was paying attention to my teacher. I chewed a bit too hard, and something broke off, so I casually looked at my pen. It was unharmed. One of my front teeth had broken off. Everyone in class, including the teacher, had to see it before I could call my dentist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 661

You deserved it 13 257

Today, I finally gathered up the guts to say hi to the girl I like. As I was walking down the hallway, I saw her and waved hello, only to walk into a bathroom door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 246

You deserved it 6 049

Today, as a bartender was carding my friends, I excitedly asked if he was going to card me. The guy gave me a blank stare before finally replying, "Look, lady, I don't have time to stroke some middle-aged woman's ego." I asked because it was my birthday. I just turned twenty-one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 383

You deserved it 7 173

Today, my housemate blew chunks all over the freshly-painted walls in the bathroom. The paint was still wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 208

You deserved it 385