Health, Embarrassing and Accident: I'm a dumbass

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I'm a dumbass

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I almost died in the shower when I slipped and my dumbass self tried to grab the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 089

You deserved it 595

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Top comments

BurnInDemonFire 35

Thursday 11 July 2019 14:20

"Why isn't this working?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Chazzster 29

Friday 27 January 2023 18:30

And that’s why grab bars are a good idea in the shower. But they have to be sturdy!

Comments

BurnInDemonFire 35

Thursday 11 July 2019 14:20

"Why isn't this working?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

JackWood 20

Friday 27 January 2023 7:02

I want what your taking. js

RichardPencil 30

Friday 27 January 2023 7:10

I almost died from déjà vu.

Chazzster 29

Friday 27 January 2023 18:30

And that’s why grab bars are a good idea in the shower. But they have to be sturdy!

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The Top

Today, I felt an intense pain in my abdomen, so my mom drove me to the hospital. When we were in the waiting room, she rudely said, "It's probably an STD since you're such a slut." And then she left me there. It was a kidney infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 128

You deserved it 176

Today, I thought it would be fun to make a grand entrance at a party by doing a backflip through the door. I misjudged the height of the door frame, crashed my shins into it, and landed on my face right on a pile of shoes by the door. The host asked if I needed an ambulance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 1 358

The Top

Today, I was granted a donation to pay for a creative writing course. When I told my mom she couldn't even muster a smile. She found her excitement later, however, when she posted how proud she was of me on Facebook. I can only get praise through my mom attention-whoring on social media. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 127

You deserved it 2 659

Today, after working another double shift because I want to buy my boyfriend a really expensive anniversary present, I get to his apartment to find him calculating in how many paychecks he'll be able to afford a Caribbean getaway. For himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 589

You deserved it 3 611

Today, my mom caught me playing Mortal Kombat and had a fit about the violence, saying she read violent video games turn young people like me into mass murderers. I’m 29 years-old with my own flat and she still tries to treat me like a dumb impressionable teenager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 473

You deserved it 161

Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me a text saying: "I don't think we can see each other anymore, the nights were great, but I think I'm falling in love with Julie". I'm Julie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 537

You deserved it 2 938

Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 289

You deserved it 6 127

Today, my mother opened her birthday gift in front of my entire family. Two days ago, I ordered an essential oil diffuser and flesh light from Amazon. Guess which one she got? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 242

You deserved it 3 436