Health, Family, Bodyshaming, Names and Awkward: I’m going on an adventure!

I’m going on an adventure!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it turns out that my hairy feet are the most memorable part about me. My family has nicknamed me "The Hobbit". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 771

You deserved it 4 375

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Top comments

MrBoredGuy 1

Sunday 16 October 2011 2:14

Put on the ring and disappear

todebonekill 2

Sunday 16 October 2011 2:14

I'd tap that.

Comments

Perksofbeingawal 0

Sunday 16 October 2011 2:24

Braid them, bro.

megan_lovee 0

Sunday 16 October 2011 2:25

um let's see yu could shave yur feet??

eatpussy 0

Sunday 16 October 2011 2:28

Your a chick too..that blows.

jallred254 4

Sunday 16 October 2011 3:40

Nope. She does.

Zerizle 19

Monday 28 July 2014 20:55

That is the worst, most unrelated joke I've ever seen.

2ndSucks 15

Sunday 16 October 2011 2:31

There are much worse things to be remembered by.

Brandonbhp 6

Sunday 16 October 2011 2:32

PO-TA-TOES boil em mash em stick em in a stew

missyj0 12

Sunday 16 October 2011 3:10

._. tasty.

peteyfas 8

Sunday 16 October 2011 2:33

..you know what they say about a guy with hairy feet

raphanne_fml 33

Sunday 16 October 2011 2:48

No, but feel free to enlighen us...

dwcomposer 4

Sunday 16 October 2011 2:58

OP claims to be female too

peteyfas 8

Sunday 16 October 2011 6:00

...I got nothing...touché woman

mrahhhhh 21

Sunday 16 October 2011 2:38

FYL, hobbit.

Magic1 9

Sunday 16 October 2011 2:39

Hobbits have big feet too! And you know what they say about big feet... Well you're a girl so idk

Phustercluck 11

Sunday 16 October 2011 2:50

Big socks

stacianichole 2

Sunday 16 October 2011 3:04

Big shoes.

YayFlameWarz 9

Sunday 16 October 2011 3:51

Loose vaginas

SnailJamsss 6

Sunday 16 October 2011 2:39

You should really shave.

spicyasscakes 0

Sunday 16 October 2011 2:41

fat hobbit is always so polite!

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Animals Dogs Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, at work, I handed an old man his drink, and our fingers accidentally brushed. He gave me a creepy wink and a smile, but I ignored it. He's now been sitting in the store for two hours watching me. Only four hours to go until I get off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 829

You deserved it 2 483

Today, I went out to dinner with my boyfriend and his mom. The hostess asked if I needed "the kid's menu," remarked how I look "so grown up for your age," and asked what grade I was in. I said I'm in university. She laughed as if it was the best joke ever told. I'm 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 774

You deserved it 2 046

The Top

Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 366

You deserved it 5 212

Today, I had to deal with numerous complaints about an employee washing their genitals in the communal bathroom sink. Nothing in the HR manual prepared me for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 244

You deserved it 2 381

Today, my mother spent over $5,000 to fly in a Feng-Shui master, put him in a five-star hotel, and had him walk around our house with a compass, moving things to help improve the "energy flow." Now all I have in my room is an old mattress and lamp. He's coming back tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 409

You deserved it 3 310

Today, I thought I'd be a suave gentleman by opening the car door for my date. The handle came off in my hand, and I had to spend the next 15 minutes pretending I was doing an impromptu repair on my piece of shit car, when I had no idea what I was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 204

Today, I was on my motorbike 200km from home, in the middle of nowhere, when I needed to poop, so I found a wooded area and did my thing. As I was climbing back up, I knocked my helmet from its perch and watched it roll right into what I’d just left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 730

You deserved it 2 268

Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 965

You deserved it 3 977