ACAB, Fraud, Cops and Work: I'm innocent, I swear!

I'm innocent, I swear!

By Anonymous - 16/07/2015 14:47 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I got a surprise raise and a promotion at work. Hours after accepting, our company was raided by police on fraud charges. Due to my new managerial position, I had to get grilled by cops. I may not have a job at all next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 788

You deserved it 1 817

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By unemployed - 18/10/2016 00:05 - United States - The Colony

Today, the store I work at got shut down and I got let go. Three days ago I got a promotion and a raise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 503

You deserved it 781

By Anonymous - 12/01/2011 05:09 - United States

Today, at the job I've had for eight years, I finally got the raise I was supposed to get a year ago. One hour later I found out the store was closing and we were all out of a job in two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 476

You deserved it 2 263

By Sudokori - 07/09/2017 01:30

Today, my coworker paid me back the $15 I let him borrow and we shook hands. Later, I was called into my boss's office, where he threatened to fire me for doing a drug deal in front of customers. The police are getting involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 254

You deserved it 268

By Anonymous - 01/01/2009 18:21 - France

Today, my boss got a promotion and I got laid off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 947

You deserved it 2 213

Asshat

By Anonymous - 04/09/2019 14:00 - New Zealand

Today, my hours at work were slashed due to company wide cut backs. The only coworker unaffected was the asshat who stole my promotion after I'd trained them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 795

You deserved it 219

No one is safe

By chili - 24/07/2021 04:01

Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 333

By Anonymous - 24/08/2015 18:59 - United States

Today, I was just a few days away from starting the training for my promotion to management, which involved a healthy pay raise and full time benefits. Today, news came down that the company is filing for bankruptcy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 375

You deserved it 1 577

One step forward, two steps back.

By MJF - 24/01/2018 15:00

Today, my boss thanked me for all my hard work and promised me a raise and a promotion. Shortly thereafter, she sent out a memo announcing she'd sold the company. The new owner immediately came in to "restructure." I got demoted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 392

You deserved it 240

Money money money!

By ofcourse - 13/09/2009 06:12 - United States

Today, I got a promotion to management at work. My employer decided to give the 'non-management' employees a really nice raise. Which means the job I had before my promotion is now paying more than the job I have now. Did I just get demoted? FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 918

You deserved it 2 626

Close but no cigar

By bbb - 03/10/2012 16:19 - United States - Hillsborough

Today, after having tried for months to get a promotion at work, I finally had an interview for a higher position. Everything went great, and I was told I would get a call next week for my second interview. I went back to my desk, only to get an email stating they're canceling the position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 883

You deserved it 1 603

Zebediabolical 39

Thursday 16 July 2015 20:13

If you don't know who the fall guy is... YOU'RE THE FALL GUY!

xmann277 13

Thursday 16 July 2015 20:15

Oh man, that is brutal. Really sorry that that happened.

Comments

cutiepie292929 18

Thursday 16 July 2015 20:55

Normally new positions don't start straight away until the new month starts over.

ayearon1218 9

Thursday 16 July 2015 21:02

If I didn't know any better I would say this is the the plot to Madeas Witness Protection. Js . But if this is true well I feel really sorry for you

cuppycakeslove 20

Thursday 16 July 2015 21:03

This is the plot to a lot of different movies and tv shows, we get it :-)

Dom_Olivares 12

Thursday 16 July 2015 21:05

I know this is off topic but why do some FMLs have their comments closed? Does somebody say something bad or what?

hkhan24 23

Thursday 16 July 2015 21:06

"surprise raise and promotion" management definitely set you up. hopefully the cops are smart enough to see through this obvious ruse.

bad_boyfriend 10

Thursday 16 July 2015 21:07

Did anyone else immediately think of Jim Carreys character in Dick & Jane?

balake_fml 8

Thursday 16 July 2015 21:19

It could just be a coincidence, but it sounds like you could have been set up

S1N9UL4R17Y 8

Thursday 16 July 2015 21:25

well naturally you now have to go around robbing other bigwigs. lol

hashtaghipster69 16

Thursday 16 July 2015 21:47

Arrested Development

travellingfun 18

Thursday 16 July 2015 22:04

That sucks so much, best of luck.

TallMist 32

Thursday 16 July 2015 22:24

"Marone? He's a fall guy! I'm the brains of the organization!"

Keywords

My ex Awkward Love AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Relatable Work Money DIY Kids Parenting Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 669

You deserved it 3 982

Today, it's the first day of my two-week stay at my in-laws' house. They forbid drinking, smoking, cursing, and anything even remotely sexual. I smuggled in my quietest toy to keep me sane in this holy house. If only I hadn't forgotten to bring the battery pack too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 966

You deserved it 29 847

The Top

Today, I was woken by my younger sister punching me in the balls. She also pulled the duvet off, and dragged me out of bed by my feet and onto the floor. All because I ate her chocolates, which were a gift. I was left writhing in pain in my underwear right in front of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 239

You deserved it 2 030

Today, my fiancé told me that he expects me to agree to quit my job to cook and clean after we get married, or he will not show up at our wedding. He earns minimum wage and my salary is 17 times higher than his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 907

You deserved it 569

Today, as I got into an elevator, I spotted a little old lady hobbling desperately to get on. I frantically tapped on the 'door open' button but the doors closed. I got dirty looks from the people in the lift, only then did I realise I had frantically tapped the 'door close' button instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 224

You deserved it 34 311

Today, I almost got lucky with a girl from my course. We've been flirting since we met. After removing her top and moving downwards with my tongue, whilst moaning my name she decided to mention she has a boyfriend and that we needed to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 856

You deserved it 6 266

Today, my batshit crazy coworker told me that she wants to hear my skin sizzle. I'm afraid to go to work now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 241

You deserved it 1 563

Today, as a prank my brother handcuffed me to the pole in the bus and ran out with my phone. The bus driver couldn’t hear me upstairs, so I was driven all the way to the end of the line, and without my phone I couldn’t even pay the fare for a return trip. I had to walk 7 miles home in heels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 149

You deserved it 105