Love: I'm so sorry - FML

I'm so sorry

By Anonymous - 21/02/2015 14:20 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, my girlfriend got her wisdom teeth removed. I really want to help her out while she recovers, but her swollen cheeks combined with her natural buck teeth keep making me crack up every time I see her. I can't help it and I'm now in the doghouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 118

You deserved it 32 232

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

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Same thing different taste

By slayerdeath - 20/05/2012 05:19 - United States - Valparaiso

Today, my girlfriend went in for a kiss too fast and broke my front tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 627

You deserved it 2 547

By dating a fking cnt - 10/11/2012 00:16 - Canada

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 754

You deserved it 3 313

Admission time

By peeoncarl1111 - 29/01/2011 01:06 - United States

Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 486

You deserved it 120 583

Superficial

By Anonymous - 25/05/2022 00:00

Today, I'm finally recovering from surgery to fix my severe underbite, which included breaking my upper and lower jaw, forcing my teeth to line up properly, then pinning them until the bone healed. My wife can’t mentally cope, because I no longer look like the man she loves. She wants a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 796

You deserved it 134

Dreams can come true

By Anonymous - 19/09/2015 02:08 - United States - Seattle

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she's been avoiding kissing me lately. Apparently she had a dream that one of my teeth caught on her braces, and all of her teeth got pulled out like a string of pearls. It seems unlikely she will be un-scarred any time soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 685

You deserved it 1 717

Take what you can get

By Anonymous - 20/04/2021 00:30 - Netherlands

Today, I got the most action I've had in about 3 years when my dentist pressed her boobs against the top of my head to fill my cavities. I really need to get me a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 164

By HR - 16/12/2011 21:13 - United States

Today, I had two of my wisdom teeth removed. One side of my face is completely swollen, and the other is normal. I feel like the elephant man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 885

You deserved it 4 230

By i fking love docb - 04/11/2012 21:16 - Virgin Islands, U.S. - Christiansted

Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 785

You deserved it 3 345

Blockages

By jakestorm - 04/09/2019 20:00

Today, my girlfriend texted me to pick her up some medicine because she’s "all plugged up." When I arrived with laxatives, she yelled at me. She meant her sinuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 708

You deserved it 378

By bucktooth - 26/04/2012 23:04 - United Kingdom

Today, while enjoying breakfast, my teeth took a chunk out of my cheek. This happens regularly, even when I'm talking. Both my doctor and dentist have no idea why, and I'm in utter agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 464

You deserved it 2 671

Next

Top comments

viaaaaaa 22

Sunday 22 February 2015 0:17

Try not to think about how much she resembles a squirrel

WCARlover 34

Sunday 22 February 2015 0:21

When I had my wisdom teeth out I sent pictures for people to laugh at. She sounds like she needs to lighten up

Comments

Baron_Kaz 15

Wednesday 22 July 2015 16:39

Post a picture!!

XxBobStachioxX 7

Wednesday 15 March 2017 12:41

Way to make your girlfriend feel bad. grow up

Zach Wheeler 8

Friday 19 January 2018 21:42

unless you have to both at once, do the sun one, then the non sun one after

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird Dating AITA Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight

The Top

Today, I called off my engagement because I fell in love with my best friend of 10 years since we recently reconnected. I confessed my feelings to her and asked her out. She rejected me and said she only sees me as a friend. Now I’m completely single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 4 080

Today, I learned that I actually like my boiled eggs a bit softer than I usually make them. I also learned that an outwardly lukewarm egg, when bitten into enthusiastically, is perfectly capable of creating a volcanic eruption of boiling hot yolk all over your hands, clothes and kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 413

The Top

Today, I found out the rumors are true: my girlfriend is in fact cheating on me. I’m not sure what’s worse, the fact that she got busted for sex in a public park, or the fact that they’ve met up there several times to play Pokémon Go. Is that even a thing anymore?! FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 505

You deserved it 217

Today, I woke up to a phone call from my boss' wife. She demanded to know how long we'd been sleeping together. When I denied her allegations, she screamed that she knew all about my "history of sleeping with married men". I'm a virgin and I have to work with him tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 143

You deserved it 2 174

Today, I'm getting over strep throat. The antibiotics they gave me make me have diarrhea unless I eat yogurt in between each pill. That wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't lactose-intolerant. Yogurt gives me really bad gas. So I have to choose between painful gas or diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 088

You deserved it 2 900

Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 804

You deserved it 40 498

Today, I rushed back to my car, as the parking meter was about to expire. I got fined by the police for jaywalking, which allowed just enough time for the parking meter to expire, and to get a fine for that too. I probably would have made it in time if I just walked calmly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 324

Today, I woke up with my eye swollen half shut. To spare the embarrassment, I asked my mom if I could stay home from school. She said no, but also attempted to make me feel better by saying that with my eye, my acne was unnoticeable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 810

You deserved it 3 157