In distress

By jdch_99 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, the pharmacist warned me that my antibiotics might cause slight gastrointestinal distress. The fact that I have been on the john for the past 90 minutes drenched in sweat would lead me to believe our definitions of "slight" are a bit different. FML
I agree, your life sucks 25 819
You deserved it 1 708

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Big_lama6 7

I'll just throw it out there, I'm sitting on the toilet too as I read this lol

Comments

That's a shitty situation jokes and crappy puns ahead. (no pun intended)

CherryLipBalm 1

*insert shitty situation joke* Just you wait, there is going to be one person who says it...

It would be horrible if cherry had that as their first comment but then edited it o.O

Haha yea I know she did. Thats why I made my comment.

CherryLipBalm 1

Haha I was going to do it, but I decided not to be that one person:) who just gets buried in down votes:P

Uh-Oh, ask your doctor for another medication to help with that.

Or just eat some yogurt with live/active whatevers in it to counter act all the good stuff the antibiotics kill.

If that's slight to the pharmacist, I'd hate to see what a lot means to her...

Isn't that already an fml where her heart pills cause fainting and her fainting pills cause heart problems or something?

FlamingTacos 7

It could be that Lloyd Christmas put turbo lax in your tea. Or it could have been the medicine. Either one.

Hey harry old buddy old pal, what da ya say you join me in a good luck toast before you head out.

maybe she had some of those flaming tacos before taking the meds. Tacos have that effect on people :)

When you so the word "poop" your mouth makes the same motions your butthole does while pooping.... So that's that...

RedPillSucks 31

How would you know that? Do you look at your (or someone elses) butthole while pooping?

Tell him he is full of shit! 90 minutes of sweat and agony is a long time! This is one of those times when you probably ended up naked on the crapper! haha

I didn't know people still called it the John.

Sounds like a good time to reverse mount and shower.

RedPillSucks 31

With OPs luck, someone will flush the toilet midway though the shower enema.

eternal7 6

Apparently OP is the one full of shit.

TheDrifter 23

90 minutes? How about a courtesy flush?

I don't think the person would be ******** that whole time. If they were, call world records.

I would be proud to hold that record. It would probably also mean one of two things you have the worlds longest small intestine or you have enough butt control to never have to worry about being ass raped.

They always sugar coat the severe pain you'll have to go through, it's their job. I don't think you'd listen if they said you'll be on the toilet for almost 2 hours straight.

I love how in commercials they speed talk through the side-effects so that you can barely make out the words, or the extremely small fine-print at the bottom of the screen. I would have thought pharmacists would have a bit more compassion than the commercials and explain the side-effects a little more thoroughly to people. I guess I had too much faith in humanity...

Lol You're right "have a better night sleep, side effects include weight gain, dizziness, blood clots, and in rare but serious cases death."

Like the "side effects" of birth control. Stroke, heart attack, death, etc.

BunchieRules 31

In many cases, the side effects completely reverse what the medicine is prescribed for. For example, there are certain depression pills with suicide as a side effect. Or that FML where OP could either faint or risk a stroke.

The amount of times I've started to explain and people don't give a shit... Too rushed to move there double parked car. If people actually listened! It's no wonder we try and quickly squeeze 5 scone interventions in!!

Big_lama6 7

I'll just throw it out there, I'm sitting on the toilet too as I read this lol

Reading FMLs on the toilet is a classic past time.

I was too 37 - it is just something to do to keep you occupied

I'm sure every mobile user is and even some of the non mobile ones as well.

yumyumpoptart 16

I'm on the toilet now reading this as well