Intimacy: Issues - FML

Issues

By Badkitty14 - 09/08/2012 20:16 - Canada - Mississauga

Spicy

Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend asked me what he should get his mother for her birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 679

You deserved it 3 721

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 15/01/2013 00:21 - Canada - Corner Brook

Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret. He then added that his mother picked it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 588

You deserved it 3 436

Apron strings

By heatherjo - 02/11/2011 04:49 - United States

Today, my fiancé told me he wants to buy an engagement ring for his mother, so that she doesn't feel left out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 541

You deserved it 3 934

Denied

By Anonymous - 05/09/2020 02:02

Spicy

Today, my wife asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and I said sex. She told me to grow up and ask for something more realistic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 945

You deserved it 378

Fashionista

By Anonymous - 14/05/2012 00:25 - United States - Newark

Spicy

Today, it's my birthday. All I wanted was birthday sex, but all my boyfriend could talk about was how great the new purse he got me was. I think he might like it more than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 583

You deserved it 5 723

By ohgod... - 02/04/2012 02:18 - Canada - Magog

Spicy

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 189

You deserved it 3 432

By same - 21/11/2015 06:39 - United States - Palo Alto

Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 801

You deserved it 6 878

Threesome

By tkdbb11790 - 20/11/2019 14:00

Today, my girlfriend asked me what I wanted for my birthday. Apparently “A threesome” is not the appropriate answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 882

You deserved it 5 012

By Anonymous - 30/04/2014 21:51 - United States

Spicy

Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 630

You deserved it 5 532

By sadSarah - 01/05/2014 09:59 - United States - New York

Today, as I was waiting in line to give my mom her birthday present, my dad gave her the exact same gift I'd also bought for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 295

You deserved it 4 797

Cockblocked

By sad gf - 14/11/2010 20:29

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. Just as we were ready, his mom called to wish us a happy anniversary. She was so excited for us, she was going to stop by. After throwing out our unused and only spare condom, she called us again and said she was just kidding, and to enjoy ourselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 886

You deserved it 5 861

Next

Top comments

ImWhiteBoy_WhoRU 10

Friday 10 August 2012 0:05

He was thinking of his mother during sex... *shudder*

My_Nightmare 19

Friday 10 August 2012 0:04

No time like the present to start thinking about it

Comments

bobplayshockey 0

Friday 10 August 2012 4:43

I think he has ad, WOW A BLACK CAT

miss_smithh1993 0

Friday 10 August 2012 4:47

*awkward*

HeartOfLead 24

Friday 10 August 2012 5:04

Noise canceling headphones?

sandrocampa 2

Friday 10 August 2012 5:26

That's what you get for dating a tool

MIDMichele 5

Friday 10 August 2012 5:53

Doesn't matter, had sex.

MAIR12 0

Friday 10 August 2012 6:15

Hit me up? I'm all focus! Ha

sorrowsangel89 1

Friday 10 August 2012 6:19

Ewwwww! Time to find a man who isn't still attached by the umbilical cord. Believe me, nothing sucks like dating a mamas boy.

Briiyahh 7

Friday 10 August 2012 6:42

Girlfriends opinion is good because your both women..

mrnuleef 7

Friday 10 August 2012 12:04

Yeah, after sexy time.

little_one 20

Friday 10 August 2012 6:49

Sometimes you think about random stuff during sex. Usually you don't say your thoughts out loud... But it's like when you can't sleep because you have too many tasks going through your mind. Hopefully he realized his mistake right away.

SqueakyChipmunk 21

Friday 10 August 2012 9:42

You need to be banned. 1) Posting the comments that EVERYBODY hates 2) "impersonating" the actual staff 3) being a troll 4) being a dumbass *mauls*

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 329

You deserved it 41 015

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 318

You deserved it 9 464

The Top

Today, my mom caught me absentmindedly staring at my puppy's butthole. She'd also been standing there for 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 1 980

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 046

You deserved it 9 043

Today, I had no choice but to unclog a toilet with my bare hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 638

You deserved it 341

Today, I heard my sister talking to my mom about me, saying that I have the ability to suck the life out of a room like a Dementor. I walked in and asked what she meant by that. My mom replied, "She means you're an asshole." I love you too, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 731

You deserved it 6 777

Today, while swimming in my neighborhood pool, I noticed what looked like several cigarettes resting at the bottom and decided to investigate. Turns out it was actually just a used, bloody tampon that had spent enough time underwater to be broken into multiple pieces, and spread across the pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 770

You deserved it 2 237

Today, I have to go to court to contest a bullshit citation I got in the local park. I’m pregnant and was picnicking with my kids when my toddler ran off. I took off after him, leaving my blanket and food. When I came back, the power tripping park ranger wrote me a ticket for littering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 361

You deserved it 118